To think DD needs to report this to the uni/sports team

[MyMagicStars]

DD3 is at uni, first year and studying politics, she's having a great time on the whole- lots of new friends, first boyfriend and joined a sports team she really enjoys. However, there's a boy on this team who keeps going on and on about eating disorders, depression, suicide, overdose and sectioning. DD3 has struggled for a few years with these, but since uni has been able to put them behind her, and is doing brilliantly, and is eating normally, and flying.
Tonight, however, this boy was talking about drug overdose and self harm, leading DD to have a panic attack and have to take herself away. She doesn't know whether or not to mention this to the sports committee for the team as it's starting to impact on her performance, but she's worried that this is a major outlet for the lad to talk about his problems, however, they can be quite graphic- eg, talking in very close detail about opening up paracetamol packets (DD was very close to taking her life with paracetomal, and found this really triggering). She isn't particularly close with this boy, but at first briefly mentioned she struggled with similar issues, and the boy is three years older, and studying nursing, so she thought he was stable and doing well.
Since it has become clear it is almost all this boy talks about and seems to glorify- every week there's a new story, scar, etc, and it's very dramatic. She followed him on social media but didn't realise he posts endless stuff about it, and is now afraid to unfollow in case she upsets him. She's worrying that he'll also find out it is her and he'll spread rumours, etc. I think she needs to tell the sports committee, as he may have issues that need proper care, and this is a cry for help, and also, it's supposed to be a fun activity, whereas it seems as if other students are having to listen to the burden of all of this. Am I right?
Sorry for the long post (a few details changed in case outing)

[5plusMeAndHim]

I don't know what they can do unless he approaches them for help

[GreenTulips]

She can raise a safeguarding concerns he same as anyone else can about a student

Do they have pasturial care? Student managers? She needs to speak up so he gets help

I'd be worried about a nurse with these thoughts

[MyMagicStars]

DD3 just wants someone to check if this boy is OK, and DD4 (twin at other university) has suggested that the committee will provide help for him if he does need attention, but also make sure DD3 is OK. I think the boy sees himself as brave and seems to romanticise mental illness (what he is going through must be awful, I feel incredibly sorry for him from my experience of DD) but my daughter is currently trying to deal with her abuser from childhood as well as her own recovery, and this sports team was a major outlet for her, and a place she really loved, but now she's much more anxious there and it doesn't feel "safe". DD4 is worried for her sister, too, as she called her during a panic attack, and had to help her calm down.

[Talkingfrog]

Does the university have a student counsellor or any form of student support staff? If she spoke to them about how it is making her feel, she is not directly reporting him, but is still making them aware of what is happening.
As 5plus has said they may need him to ask for help. However, especially if he is doing nursing, they may well know about his medical background.
It may not bother the other students in the same way as they may think it is all talk. It is understandable that your daughter may be more sensitive about the issue.

[LegallyBrunet]

I'm at a uni as well and if I were your daughter I'd anonymously report him to student wellbeing services out of concern for his welfare, especially as he's doing nursing.

[Italiangreyhound]

Get your dd to report all this, she may be able to do it anonymously. I think she needs to also back away from him, un-follow him and not join in conversations of this sort. She can either simply be busy or she can say she finds this talk distressing.

She does not need to be responsible for him but she is responsible for her own mental health. You can guide her to put herself first and also to help him by anonymously reporting her concerns.

Good luck.

[MyMagicStars]

I think DD3 is worried she'll be "outed" to the rest of the team- she prefers to keep the past in the past, and doesn't particularly mention it at all to anyone apart from her twin and us (mainly when we ask). She would be traumatised if the whole team found out, and while this boy doesn't seem particularly popular, it's a small group (20-25) and it would be easy to spread the news. I've suggested emailing the student services, but she isn't sure of his full name/student number. Like previous posters, we're concerned about nursing.

[MyMagicStars]

Bump

[Seryph]

Your DD, and this young man, are technically adults. Sadly that means that his mental health is no one's business but his own.
Your daughter can talk to whatever student services there are on her campus to be referred for counselling of she needs it, though be warned there will be a very long waiting list (there normally is). The university may also have a lifeline/nightline type phone line she can call if she is upset.
She needs to be an adult about it, remove herself from the situation if it is triggering or distressing to her. She could also speak to the man (not boy, he is an adult) about not talking about it around her/the rest of the team. There is no reason to tell him about her background, simply that the graphic descriptions are too much and could he refrain. She could also suggest the university services that I have listed above where relevant to their university if he needs more support.
The other option would be to talk to the team captain or coach and explain that this man is making your daughter, and possibly others, uncomfortable and that he is self harming which will effect the team. It will then be up to the captain/coach to approach him and discuss how to either get him help, or remove him from the team.

[MyMagicStars]

Thank you Seryph- she's speaking to the team captain today.

[Booboobooboo84]

There’s an anonymous student welfare reporting system at most unis