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Parents avoiding 1st Birthday party due to sick child

(81 Posts)
desperatelyseekingcruising Mon 19-Feb-18 21:59:37

I'm prepared to be told IABU, just feeling a bit fed up really.
DSD had a heart attack a few years ago, and is now very twitchy about his health. This I can understand, but to such a degree that he and my DM will happily miss important family events if there is so much as a sniffle in the vicinity. Tonight was my DS's first birthday party, and due to DD (10yrs) having a vomiting episode and taking to bed after school, they have decided to swerve the entire thing.
I feel that other grandparents would want to celebrate regardless, and there is probably more risk of catching something from a trolley at Tesco than a child not even in the same room. I get that he's nervous about sickness, but due to having three school age's unlikely there will be an event in the forseeable future that doesn't involve at least one snotty nose!

Crabstick Mon 19-Feb-18 22:02:19

YABU a vomiting bug is very different to a little snotty nose.

LadySainsburySeal Mon 19-Feb-18 22:02:42

Have you ever had a heart attack?

NellMangel Mon 19-Feb-18 22:03:46

He had it YEARS ago?! Yanbu, that seems borderline obsessive.

londonrach Mon 19-Feb-18 22:04:15

Yabu. If dd was vomiting id avoid you as would any sensible person. Why risk speading it especially if dsd had medical problems. Can you move ds birthday party a couple of days if family live close by. Hope ds and yourself dont come down with the vomiting. X

BrutusMcDogface Mon 19-Feb-18 22:05:25

I would avoid a house with a puking child in it, no matter whose child it was, and I haven't had a heart attack! I know you're upset but yabu.

gamerchick Mon 19-Feb-18 22:07:10

Tbh if you had a vomiting bug in the house, I would give you a swerve and I haven’t had a heart attack. I don’t know your cleaning routine and how far around your house it had been transmitted.

joleigh332 Mon 19-Feb-18 22:07:20

I totally expected to say YANBU but I think a vomiting bug is far from a cold or a sniffle, even without heart problems.

I'm a little suprised you are still having a party with a sick child in the house, yes she isn't in the room but it spreads so easily via your taps/towels/toilet even just surfaces she's touched. I probably make an excuse not to come if faced with similar situation.

desperatelyseekingcruising Mon 19-Feb-18 22:07:57

Errrr no LadySainsburySeal, why?!

Literally years Nell, maybe 8. I honestly get that it's made him very aware of protecting himself from possible illness and even a bit paranoid, but to miss out on so many events because of it is starting to wear me down. DM will also not come without him, so they both missed kids Christening, parties, you name it. When I'm a grandparent I won't want to miss a thing.

AuntLydia Mon 19-Feb-18 22:07:59

I'm with your parents I'm afraid! I'd have cancelled the party or moved it. It's a shame but not worth passing a bug round.

fabulous01 Mon 19-Feb-18 22:08:13

The child will not remember who is there but if they feel nervous then in fairness they want to see the next birthdays and the next

It is one day and main thing is they are around for other days

Haggisfish Mon 19-Feb-18 22:09:26

Yabu-a one year old wont even know who is there! No one wants to catch a vomiting bug, even without heart attack history.

JediStoleMyBike Mon 19-Feb-18 22:09:28

I wish more people would be careful with their germs. We've had a particularly nasty cold brought to our home by SIL recently which left my DD extremely ill, and with eczema as a consequence of a viral rash she contracted. I'd avoid your house for sure, sorry.
Can you move the party?

altiara Mon 19-Feb-18 22:09:57

I don’t know, if he’s been told to be careful with his health then why would he want to go somewhere with a vomiting child. Seriously? It could affect his life!
Most people wouldn’t want to go near a vomiting child even if they are healthy.
I have had D&V for a week after contact with ill nephew so my views are coloured by that horrendous experience and no 1st birthday party will change my mind!

ShowOfHands Mon 19-Feb-18 22:10:19

You couldn't pay me to go to a party in a house where a child has a vomiting bug.

desperatelyseekingcruising Mon 19-Feb-18 22:10:36

For clarity, less of a party, more family only, ie. those that already live here, parents and my siblings! She puked once and has been fine since. I'm not sure that constitutes a vomiting bug? But I'm prepared to be corrected for that also!

NorthernLurker Mon 19-Feb-18 22:11:00

They are your kids not theirs. Their presence isn't essential at every milestone and if they don't want to risk a bug that's their choice.

CotswoldStrife Mon 19-Feb-18 22:12:05

I assume this is your stepfather? I appreciate why you are disappointed with it being a first birthday party but a vomiting bug is a bit more than a sniffle. Hope your son's party went well regardless and your daughter is doing OK too.

My mum had lowered immunity due to medication and we used to avoid her with sick children (much to her horror) as in her case, bugs used to hit her very hard indeed and she would be ill for a considerable length of time.

confusedhelpme Mon 19-Feb-18 22:12:21

I would avoid a vomit house regardless of heart attack

AuntLydia Mon 19-Feb-18 22:13:24

Well if she's been sick and then taken to her bed it's likely to be a bug. Plus if it's not actually a party that's even more reason why it could just be avoided!

PancakeInMaBelly Mon 19-Feb-18 22:13:41

A snotty nose is not a vomiting bug. YABU to not cancel social engagements if your house has a vomiting bug!

A one year old doesn't even know it's their birthday, stop being weird/dramatic just reschedule

desperatelyseekingcruising Mon 19-Feb-18 22:14:13

Oh bloody hell Jedi, sorry to hear about your DD.

I hear the collective disapproval of mumsnet. I will reconsider feeling annoyed and try to just be grateful that he is in good health...and keep my fingers crossed that the rest of us don't start puking!

Butteredparsn1ps Mon 19-Feb-18 22:14:56

Actually I think YABVU.

You should have postponed the party out of consideration to all your guests.

I'm perfectly healthy, but would be seriously pissed off yo have been put in that situation.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 19-Feb-18 22:14:57

I totally agree with him, i am healthy, and I would avoid a house with someone who has noro, sorry!

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo Mon 19-Feb-18 22:15:16

It sounds upsetting but it doesn't sound ridiculous behaviour from them. He may have been told that he's more at risk from colds - some people with heart defects can become very ill indeed with a cold.

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