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To feel uncomfortable with SIL not vaccinating nephew

(223 Posts)
CambozolaCrackers Mon 19-Feb-18 18:29:12

Have name changed for obvious reasons.....would appreciate some guidance on how to broach an awkward family situation going forward.

B and SIL have decided not to vaccinate their son (8 months).
My DS is 5 months and has been vaccinated.

Today we met up for swim class which both babies attend weekly.

I was concerned to see my DS had angry red rash across torso and brought him to a&e after the class to get checked out.

In short, I’ve been told it is a ‘viral exanthem’ rash, no meds prescribed - just one of those things that happen, and not to worry.

I’ve told my BIL and SIL what I’ve been told by the doctor. My worry is that at some point we are going to pass on something and put my nephew’s health at risk...or that my nephew will catch something dreadful that he has not been vaccinated against.

The anti vaxxer argument is not something that sits comfortably with me, but equally it’s very difficult to criticise other people’s parenting decisions - especially when it is family.

Any advice on how to best protect our kids going forward.

Isadora2007 Mon 19-Feb-18 18:30:53

Not your circus not your monkey.

Youve made your choice to protect your child as you see fit, as have they. So if your child did happen to become unwell and pass on an illness that is a risk they presumably have allowed for and are accepting.

TittyGolightly Mon 19-Feb-18 18:30:56

Her stupid decision, her risk.

Pengggwn Mon 19-Feb-18 18:32:15

You can only make this decision for your child. What she does with her child with regards to vaccinations is up to her. They are not compulsory.

lazyarse123 Mon 19-Feb-18 18:34:58

It is difficult to criticise others parenting choices. But they are putting their child and others at risk of disability and death. I would try and find a way to at least get them to do some research. Good luck. I really hate anti-vaxxers.

Redwineistasty Mon 19-Feb-18 18:35:06

How would your ds pass on to her ds if your ds is vaccinated against it?

Teapot13 Mon 19-Feb-18 18:35:57

It is the parents putting the child at risk, not your vaccinated child.

gimmesomeapachepizza Mon 19-Feb-18 18:38:48

My worry is that at some point we are going to pass on something and put my nephew’s health at risk...or that my nephew will catch something dreadful that he has not been vaccinated against

That will be his idiot parents fault, not yours.

Thebookswereherfriends Mon 19-Feb-18 18:40:28

The only thing you can do is not have contact when your child is obviously unwell. Ultimately, if you don't vaccinate you take the risk your child will catch something they would otherwise be protected from. It won't be your fault if that happens.

franktheskank Mon 19-Feb-18 18:40:49

Of your da is vaccinated why are you worried he'll pick something up?

Sugarpiehoneyeye Mon 19-Feb-18 18:43:10

Did she say why they had decided against vaccination ?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 19-Feb-18 18:43:47

I suppose you can tell them any symptoms your child might have before meeting up. That’s more than you’d get from randoms in the park etc,

throwcushions Mon 19-Feb-18 18:46:34

This is a very selfish decision for children who cannot be vaccinated and comes from a place of pure ignorance. I would avoid them personally and make sure they knew why but I feel quite strongly about this.

fallenblossom Mon 19-Feb-18 18:48:02

"Not your circus not your monkey"

But is is though. Unvaccinated children are everyones problem, they pose a public health issue.

Personally, I wouldn't see them. I feel that strongly about these idiots and their criminally negligent decisions.

As for the pp questioning any concern if a child has already been vaccinated. Vaccinations are only as effective as the herd immunity in our environment. So it's all very well vaccinating our own child/children, and doing our bit for the greater good, but if these imbeciles - that ride off the backs of our responsible parenting - continue to champion the return of killer diseases by not vaccinating, then everyone is put at risk.

NailsNeedDoing Mon 19-Feb-18 18:48:55

You don't need to do anything differently, it's not worth making into a big deal.

FlibbertyGiblets Mon 19-Feb-18 18:50:36

thrower you know why OP's brother and wife haven't vaccinated their child?

throwcushions Mon 19-Feb-18 18:52:53

Flibberty, OP's post appears to be written on the basis that it is a choice made by yhe parents so not sure the relevance of your question

Gide Mon 19-Feb-18 18:55:48

This is a very selfish decision for children who cannot be vaccinated and comes from a place of pure ignorance. I would avoid them personally and make sure they knew why but I feel quite strongly about this.

This ^^ It makes me very angry on behalf of immuno-compromised children who are put at serious risk by people like this. I could rave on about herd immunity at length but it makes no difference to people who are determined they’re right.

MothershipG Mon 19-Feb-18 18:56:29

Get her to read this article in today's Guardian...

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/feb/19/who-warns-over-measles-immunisation-rates-as-cases-rise-400-across-europe

ChaosNeverRains Mon 19-Feb-18 18:57:01

Mind your own business.

There are certain illnesses which I would advise to vaccinate against but there are others which it’s amazing how they have suddenly become serious childhood illnesses when they never previously were such as chicken pox.

Am amazed at the number of people who talk about how deadly chicken pox is when really, it isn’t, and most had it without incident as children. Similarly with mumps - mumps is far better caught in childhood and yet now we have instances of adults catching it with far greater consequences because the childhood vaccinations are not effective enough to be life-long.

Plus you have no idea what their reasons are for not vaccinating.

PS: my dc had baby vaccinations and MMR but I would never have even considered vaccinating against chicken pox and still wouldn’t.

Blackteadrinker77 Mon 19-Feb-18 18:58:27

Your title just blames the Mum, why is that?

As have a few posters.

Bluedoglead Mon 19-Feb-18 19:00:17

My youngest child can’t be vaccinated for medical reasons. Glad to know they’re a public health risk hmm

Bluedoglead Mon 19-Feb-18 19:01:47

And I made a “criminally negligent”decision. In conjunction with the paed at the specialist children’s hospital.

And of course, you’re going to say you didn’t mean me or mine.

But you didn’t say that, did you?

OutyMcOutface Mon 19-Feb-18 19:03:46

If it makes you feel any better your decision to vaccinate helps reduce the risks of her son catching something very bad. You've essentially mitigated her stupid choices through your own rational and responsible choice. Claps for you (that was what you wanted right).

fallenblossom Mon 19-Feb-18 19:03:46

Blue, if there are medical reasons why one cannot vaccinate, then of course not.

But most choose not to, for no other reason that stupidity and arrogance.

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