It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

[restofthetimes]

He’s getting old poor
Don’t understand about sifting and cleaning a box for him. Does he poo in the box or a litter tray? If he has outside access he should poo in the garden or soil.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

He sometimes poos in the garden but mostly goes in his box. He was an indoor cat for six years so I think he just got into the habit of it.

I'm fully aware that he's getting old. I don't feel that sorry for him when I'm staunching a bleeding wound, sorry.

[Mol1628]

I know you said he’s been to the vet but could it be some sort of dementia? Sometimes animals forget they’ve been fed.

[mimibunz]

Aw, bless him, he’s becoming a grumpy old man. This sounds a lot like my boy who is also 11, constantly wanting food, biting feet for attention. His latest thing is wanting to be let out the front. Please don’t abandon him! He sounds very vulnerable.

[Purplerain101]

My cat can be a bit like this but not quite as extreme. He’ll be very loving and affectionate but will sometimes just randomly attack me and start biting my arm or trying to go for my ankles when I’m walking past. It’s not playful as he can be quite vicious and will sometimes growl. I’ve taken him to have all sorts of check ups and he’s in good health, and nothing else has changed in the home environment that might be distressing him. He was cuddled up in bed this morning with me and then just randomly started biting my arm and sinking his teeth right in. I couldn’t get him off me as he’s a big cat and very strong. All I can think of is that he’s getting old (he’s 13) and maybe going a bit senile

[JustKeepDancing]

If his behaviour has changed and you're currently pregnant then it makes sense that the two are related. My cat has similar behaviours when he's bored and wants attention - it sounds like yours is too. Do you have multi level scratching posts for him? Preferably combined with somewhere that he can escape to but still watch what is going on (on top of wardrobes, fridge etc)?

I'd suggest looking at ways to entertain him. Different types of toys, sprayed with a catnip oil until he gets the hang of playing with them - the ones on fishing lines etc.
Every time he is agressive, play for 2-3 minutes as an outlet for the agression so that instead of playing with you, he is redirected and plays with something appropriate.
Food - I'd suggest getting a couple of electronic timers and having his food be dispensed at particular times. That can reduce food related agression because it directs attention away from you as the provider of the food.

Ultimately, you've committed to having a cat, it's worth a small amount of time and energy committing to getting to the bottom of the change. Cats are intelligent, they get stressed by change, it's our job as cat owners to find ways of looking after them differently. But do it now, before your baby arrives

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I can't summon any pity for him. I know this makes me a monster. I'm tired and sore and sick and have a child with ASD to look after.

[KeiraTwiceKnightley]

My cat is a pain. Part feral and horribly unpredictable- aggressive when he turns. If he was a dog I'd have had to put him down for attacking years ago. I am quite fond of the old bugger but it doesn't stop me thinking occasional thoughts of rehoming him on a farm in the middle of a forest somewhere...

[KeiraTwiceKnightley]

So you're not a monster. Just a cat owner whose animal is a nuisance.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

We're moving house this week, god knows what he'll be like after that

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

Would it be awful to 'put him out' for a few hours sometimes? Just so I get a break?!

[KeiraTwiceKnightley]

God no! Send him out and ignore his little fizz at the window. They are outside creatures really and he'll be ok as long as he's safe.

(Obv exercise caution directly after you move house tho.)

[Evenbetter]

What’s awful about putting it outside? He can go and expend his violent energies and find something g to amuse himself with other than being a dickhead. 11 isn’t old for a cat, most live till at least 18 if given proper food and shelter and vet treatment (like this spoilt animal), how do people feel sympathy for this animal, when if it was a dog behaving like this, they’d be screeching for it to be killed.

[meredintofpandiculation]

He's not old for a cat. But I too would interpret it as a reaction to your pregnancy. He's worried about his future, about whether you'll continue to feed him. He needs lots of love and affection from you to reassure him that his future is secure. But since you're not able to give it him, and on top of that you're going to remove him from his territory and take away the other source of security, rehoming may be the best thing.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I admit to feeling somewhat put out that people are generally being more sympathetic toward my violent cat than my cowering, bleeding form. He's FINE. Loving life. Administering beats whenever things aren't 100% to his satisfaction.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

meredin - your advice to settle a violent cat that I can't get near his to stroke and comfort him more?!? Ooooook....

[mimibunz]

Evenbetter why are you even on this thread when you so obviously hate cats?

[StormTreader]

I wonder if your pregnancy hormones have changed your smell and confused him, maybe he doesnt recognise you sometimes because of that? We are very sight-reliant creatures but other animals rely much more on smell and hearing as their primary sense.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I know why he hates me. But I can't do much about that atm!!

[meredintofpandiculation]

meredin - your advice to settle a violent cat that I can't get near his to stroke and comfort him more?!? Ooooook.... No, that wasn't my advice. Did you read to the end of my post or just rush to reply? I said "this is what he needs, but you can't provide it". My advice was to rehome - if he's going to have to change his territory anyway, he might as well have new staff too.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I'm def going to talk to DH about rehoming him.

[crazycatgal]

Is he neutered?

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

Yep, neutered. Honestly we have taken good care of him. He's just turned into a DICK.

[MargaretCavendish]

Tbh your mind sounds very made up? If you're cross at getting any advice other than 'oh you poor baby, of course you should re-home your pet of 11 years' then I'm not really sure why you asked.

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

Because I haven't really had much actual advice except people feeling sorry for the cat?