Is it unreasonable that I'll ever get time alone in the bathroom EVER AGAIN!

[Canany1help]

Love my kids BUT since becoming a mum, actually since being pregnant really! I've not had one moment alone in the peace and tranquil setting of what used to be my bathroom. Even when I'm physically alone in the bathroom...they ARE THERE...RIGHT OUTSIDE! 'mum, mum, mum, mummmmmm, mummy, mum!!! What are u doing? What's taking you so long! Mum!' and just when you think they've gone...pencils, then paper, pushed under the door...'look mum! Look at my picture...its you...what you doing? Mum can I have my picture back? '
Brushing my teeth involves being cross examined by one while the other tears the bathroom apart. Having a bath...well I might as well pour a bucket of cold water over my head, it's be more effective. And the best moments...morning sickness/or any kind of stomach bug and trying to get a grip of yourself while explaining that mummy is OK and will be downstairs in a moment to dislodge the lego they've rammed into something.
Does it get better?
Will I ever get that quiet personal bliss back?
Will I ever experience actually using the toilet without feeling like an exhibit!
Yes completely light hearted but I'm sooooo looking forward to that moment I get to soak in a bath for hours on end, no interruptions and come out looking like a pruned prune!

[Sunnyjac]

My oldest is eight. Still waiting.........

[peachypetite]

Do you have a partner?

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

I remember having a friend and her two young children to stay and offering her the chance to have an hour long bath WITH WINE while I played with the kids.
She reappeared after 20 minutes saying it still felt like 2 hours of peace!

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

I've train DD to go away when asked. I dont mind her telling me stuff when in the bath but I would like to lay in the bath for two hours without having to think. She will will back when summoned though. She's a good girl.

[Red2017]

I've resorted to putting my 5month old in the bouncer and bringing her in the bathroom with me .. whilst I soak and she stares at her hands

[GirlInterruptedOftenByKids]

My youngest is nearly 6 and yesterday was standing there critiquing how I wiped my own bottom. Privacy is still a way off :o

[Seren85]

My Mum is 57 and still ends up with either my sister or I sat on the closed toilet seat when she's in the bath. Not every day obviously! Seems to be when we have the best talks.

[Kerberos]

My youngest is 8 and I've been peeing alone for at least 2 years - you'll get there too op ;)

[QueenNefertitty]

I would say 75% of my baths, toddler DS climbs in with me. The others I have in the dead of night and give up precious sleep for.

DS also likes to try and shut the toilet lid on me while I'm mid poo, and god forbid I ever try and do anything as ambitious as dry my hair...

[BertieBotts]

Mine is 9 and I still have to remind him that being in the bathroom means I'm not talking or listening to him and he's not allowed to shout through the door

[Meandmy4]

perfectly explained op ! My eldest is 13 (have a 10yr 6yr and 1yr also) .....let me just say that my input, advice,knowledge etc... is Never Needed unless im either in the bath,mid stream peeing,removing dinner from oven or any other such thing that requires me to maybe ACTUALLY being ALONE for longer than 3minutes !!
Op sorry to break it to you but you will forever be an exhibition and will NEVER bath ALONE or in PEAcE ever again !

They better put me in a good nursing home im telling you !

[Craftylittlething]

My dd is 12, we moved house so that we could have two bathrooms and I could have a bath in peace. She now unpicks the lock on the door to come in for a chat! I do get to pee in peace but that’s taken a very long time.

[Floralnomad]

My children are both 18+ but I never get the bathroom to myself because my dog comes to sit with me whether I’m having a bath or just on the loo he always comes along to keep me company .

[GreenTulips]

Sorry - no escape

[Situp]

We have a vent at the bottom of the bathroom door so even when I lock it I see little fingers poking through!

Had DC3 3 weeks ago and trying to get the privacy to change pads, check on bleeding and examine my stitches has been a nightmare.

DH seems to get to have his shits in peace though. I need to work on making mine smell more obnoxious I think...

[Sashkin]

DS has just started toddling, and his latest trick is to pull himself up and flush the toilet while I’m still sitting on it

[Plumsofwrath]

Get up before them, or have your bath once they’re asleep?
Sorry, not a funny/sympathy reply but maybe of practical help!

[Oddsocksforeveryone]

4dc here, eldest is 8. As soon as my bath is run the boys announce they need to poo. Or wait til I'm in it. 1yr old dd dumps toys in and strips off.
Using the toilet is apparently a communal activity.
But on the plus side it is exciting if you do get bathroom time alone so that's a free and safe way to have fun lol.
Oh and DH gets an hour, AN HOUR, undisturbed watching netflix pooping. That would be like a holiday.

[TheMaddHugger]

Thought I was finally safe after becoming an 'Empty Nester' Nope. rescue Dog is like velcro.

Sighhh

[Rents]

...

[flumpybear]

I've got a 9&5 year old, 9 year old now leaves me in peace, still waiting in the 5 year old!
Also I've got a cat who, when she's out and wants in waits on the downstairs bathroom windowsill .... I get it from all bloody angles!

[BurningGubbins]

I feel your pain. Yesterday I even said “I am going to the toilet, nobody follow me” and I still had DS walking behind me asking me his usual zillion questions. DH was just sitting on the sofa undisturbed.
He has just spent an hour showering, shaving, cutting his hair, largely undisturbed. There is no way my 10 minute shower will get the same treatment. Gah!

[franktheskank]

I never seem to go to the toilet one and we're an open door household at the moment but I've always managed to have long baths most nights since my eldest was born, and I have 7!

Unless you are a single mum there's no reason why you can't do this, do it when they're asleep or get their dad to take over.

[Frouby]

Dd is 13 and ds 4.

I thought I would be able to at least have a poo in peace when ds started nursery.

Nope. The dog either comes in and looks at me, peeps through the gap in the door or if I shut it sits outside woofing at me.

We also have ponies. No loo there. Was doing an al fresco wee in an empty stable last week and one of the sheep wandered in and baa'd for its mate to come and watch too.