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To think it’s wrong of this man to film a child?

(359 Posts)
MrsA2015 Wed 14-Feb-18 23:02:45

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5391341/Passenger-films-toddlers-eight-hour-tantrum-flight.html

I can see why he filmed it but for it to be put on the net is too far! I feel quite sorry for the mother she must have felt mortified

MrsA2015 Wed 14-Feb-18 23:03:21

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5391341/Passenger-films-toddlers-eight-hour-tantrum-flight.html

twinone Wed 14-Feb-18 23:05:05

By all accounts, mother wasn't mortified.
8 hours! I'm surprised nobody approached her on the flight.

NewYearNiki Wed 14-Feb-18 23:09:12

No.

I'd have gone stark raving mad.

You cant see his face.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 Wed 14-Feb-18 23:12:50

I agree with you. I watched the video and wonder if the child has SEN given that he says no words, just cries.

We don't know the circumstances of why she took the child on the flight. As horrible as it is for the passengers, I don't agree with it being put online.

KettleAlwaysBoiling Wed 14-Feb-18 23:13:28

They seem to have blurred the child's face so he can't be identified, at least. On the other hand, they've identified the man so I'm sure he'll receive quite a bit of a bashing online, especially now it has been revealed the child has a disability which affected his behaviour on the flight. None of the passengers would have known this before, not that this justifies recording the little boy and attempting to shame the mother.

I don't know what could have been done, tbh. If the parent was constantly prompting her son to remain seated, this might have caused him to be more distressed and make more noise. Maybe that's why she appeared to not be doing anything to prevent him running around and climbing over the seats. She was the person on that flight who knew her child best. The flight attendants claim to have been working hard to assist the mother. I wonder what other adaptations to the environment might have been possible for him? Maybe somewhere with more space or somewhere more quiet? Not possible thought if the flight was fully booked or if other people were unwilling to move seats.

Ghanagirl Wed 14-Feb-18 23:14:58

8 hours of screaming bloody annoying but smug man could have put earphones on and listened to music or watched a film!
Toddler/Brat could have been distressed or had Special needs...

Redglitter Wed 14-Feb-18 23:15:15

My sympathy is with the passengers. The mother doesn't appear to have been overly concerned about calming him down

NotAnotherEmma Wed 14-Feb-18 23:15:26

8 hours?

Kids have way more energy then they need. confused

KettleAlwaysBoiling Wed 14-Feb-18 23:15:37

Yes - he does have a disability. The article states that someone has confirmed this after the video was taken. I would assume the man nor any of the other complaining passengers were aware of this at the time. They likely thought that this was a badly behaved child with a useless parent. Sadly, so many people think that when they see a distressed child with invisible disabilities.

NewYearNiki Wed 14-Feb-18 23:16:36

Maybe somewhere with more space or somewhere more quiet?

More quiet? How?

Switch the engines off perhaps.

Most people on a plane sit and watch the screens for the whole flight.

Planes are noisy because of the engines constantly.

No i would not have given up a seat for a ticket costing several hundred pounds either.

NewYearNiki Wed 14-Feb-18 23:17:29

This is why I bring noise cancelling earphones on flights and long train journeys.

Fuckoffee Wed 14-Feb-18 23:20:00

This is not the behaviour of a naughty child. It’s the bevahiour of a child totally freaked out by his surroundings. Most kids I know would not be able to keep that up an hour, let alone 8 hours.
I really do feel for the passengers but the guy filming it and posting it online is a prick. Especially his comment about “this is what digital devices do”. Knob head.

Thelampshadelady Wed 14-Feb-18 23:20:11

Those poor passengers.

KettleAlwaysBoiling Wed 14-Feb-18 23:21:31

He is not a toddler or a brat! He is a child with a disability.

The mother probably knew that trying to confine him to his seat was going to cause more upset and noise. I'd like to think she knew exactly what she was doing and obviously felt that the 8 hour trip was important enough to put her child through something he clearly didn't like.

Yes - i also feel bad for the other passengers for being exposed to noise. I wonder if - with the mother's permission - it was announced at the beginning of the flight that a passenger with X disability was travelling with us today and therefore we'd appreciate some additional understanding might have helped the situation or prompted the other passengers to ask the mum if they could help in some way? E.g. if there were extra seats, some people could have budged down and this boy and his mum could have sat somewhere on their own? Not in an exclusionary way, but just so he could climb freely without touching other passengers and might not have felt so crowded?

KettleAlwaysBoiling Wed 14-Feb-18 23:27:49

I'm not sure which tpye of flight/plane it was (i've only ever flown twice before on very low budget flights!), but by "somewhere more quiet and with more space", i meant perhaps another part of the plane that wasn't so crowded? Maybe an area where staff have access that wasn't being used all the time? It might have been okay for the boy and his mum to go in there for a breather?

I'm just trying to think, what adaptations can actually be made on flights for people with neurodevelopmental disorders. Obviously, everybody is entitled to travel. But this little boy is obviously highly distressed by it. What could be put in place to make his next flight feel more comfortable for him and, as a result, more comfortable for his mum and other passengers?

Increased awareness of neurodevelopmental disorders might be a good start!

NotASingleFuckToGive Wed 14-Feb-18 23:30:34

Yes - i also feel bad for the other passengers for being exposed to noise. I wonder if - with the mother's permission - it was announced at the beginning of the flight that a passenger with X disability was travelling with us today and therefore we'd appreciate some additional understanding might have helped the situation or prompted the other passengers to ask the mum if they could help in some way? E.g. if there were extra seats, some people could have budged down and this boy and his mum could have sat somewhere on their own? Not in an exclusionary way, but just so he could climb freely without touching other passengers and might not have felt so crowded?

This^

DS (who has HFA) was a very quiet and reserved baby, but had he not been, I would have done exactly that. Friends I met through support groups had more robust DC who had more sensory issues, and I know would have mentioned this to the cabin crew, if only to keep the peace in a cramped, stressful environment with physically and emotionally demanding DC in close proximity to lots of strangers, who will likely be less used to that. It's just good manners to think consider the people around you I think.

Eltonjohnssyrup Wed 14-Feb-18 23:32:58

It's not quite confirmed he has a disability. Someone has contacted the DM and claimed he has, but they haven't verified if that source is genuine either.

The man had every right to film it because it seems like there wasn't even the minimum effort on the part of the flight crew to see if they could help or if anything could be done. Apparently it was so loud that headphones on max made no difference.

I think it's cruel to put a child with a disability in a situation where they are going to get that distressed. If they had to fly, the mother could have looked into sedation (eg Phernagan). It was cruel of her to let him go through 8 hours of distress regardless of the other passengers.

Eltonjohnssyrup Wed 14-Feb-18 23:35:38

Sorry, I meant he was right to film it so he could complain to the airline with evidence. Not that it was okay to post it on the internet.

IceBearRocks Wed 14-Feb-18 23:38:07

I've got a severely disabled child and ds10 and DD 6. Both want to go on an aeroplane....we haven't yet ... For this very reason...why should my family be punished for having a disabled child ???

LardLizard Wed 14-Feb-18 23:38:41

I’m guessing special needs too, the man is a twat posting that
Why couldn’t he ask the mum
Is there anything I can do to help in a nice friendly way rather than filming a child and posting online

NotASingleFuckToGive Wed 14-Feb-18 23:40:04

Those poor passengers.

NewYearNiki Wed 14-Feb-18 23:42:09

i meant perhaps another part of the plane that wasn't so crowded?

You're not a frequent flyer are you?

A route like that to JFK would be packed. You can see from the video that it is pretty full.

They only option would have been to put him in business or first class where there would likely be space and quiet. But then Lufthansa would likely not wanted to have inflicted that screaming on their first class passengers who pay thousands for one seat as they would likely never fly with Lufthansa again.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 14-Feb-18 23:42:50

The man was an idiot.

There really aren’t any quiet empty areas on planes though, unless they’re extremely under booked. There’s no ‘staff areas’ except a crowded little bit full of food trays etc. I don’t know what the crew or the mother could have done, I think it’s a case for the other passengers of stuck your headphones in and turn up the movie volume!

NotASingleFuckToGive Wed 14-Feb-18 23:45:42

Why should my family be punished for having a disabled child ???

My DS has HFA so also a disability, and suffers panic attacks, hyperventilating and cries and shakes uncontrollably at the stress of being subject to prolonged harsh sounds. I can't imagine what 8 hours of screaming in a confined space with child with an unengaged DM would do to him. It would be absolute HELL.
Where does it end?
If travel is so extremely traumatic for a person, then maybe travelling isn't what is in their best interests?

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