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To not want my future child lied to?

(435 Posts)
cjferg Wed 14-Feb-18 18:46:57

Dh and I agree we won't be lying to our soon to be born child about anything. We both know how much it can fuck any relationships up and undermine trust.

Massive argument with MIL recently about santa. She thinks we are being ridiculous to not want to tell a pointless lie more often than not used to control children's behaviour. I think there is enough beauty and 'magic' in the world already without making shit up. I'd rather teach them about that.

Also our kid is going to get lied to enough by everyone/thing else in life so why would we want to add more?

And lying to avoid awkward questions is just a lazy cop out. In this day and age a kid is probably going to find out about sex and stuff like that pretty young anyway and I'd rather tell them myself if they asked than them find out some half baked version from wherever else.

crispsandgin Wed 14-Feb-18 18:48:10

Oh god, i hate the po faced people like you. You suck every bot of fun and magic out of things for children. You're no better than the people who do santa you know, you're just a joy vampire.

Pinkbutton85 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:49:28

‘Fun sponge’ springs to mind.. wink

Popfan Wed 14-Feb-18 18:49:35

Nice little goady post there....

PatheticNamechange Wed 14-Feb-18 18:49:57

So you are potentially going to sit your 3/4 yo child down, tell them how babies are really made and that Santa is not real and all the other kids are stupid for believing in such bullshit?

Okay. Would love you to come back to this thread in a few years.

LondonHereICome Wed 14-Feb-18 18:50:22

Hahaha grin

Op, we've all been doing it so wrong, THANK GOD you've come along to point it out!!

Is the second coming not going to have a sunny either? And only ever eat organic freshly prepared food?

JohnLapsleyParlabane Wed 14-Feb-18 18:50:43

I'm sort of with you. Here's an article that makes a lot of sense to me www.parent.com/were-santa-agnostic-but-the-season-still-has-plenty-of-magic/amp/

lilcolibri Wed 14-Feb-18 18:50:46

Any other different ways you're going to be raising your future children you'd like to share?

always fun

Vibe2018 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:50:48

I presume this is a wind-up? If not, good luck with that!

LondonHereICome Wed 14-Feb-18 18:50:55

*dummy!!!

Angrybird345 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:51:01

You’re going to be a great mum .... not. You’ll have bigger things to deal with so don’t ruin life for them, and others.

Eminybob Wed 14-Feb-18 18:51:37

I think there is a difference between lying to avoid an awkward discussion, and playing along with the Santa thing!

My 3 year old has asked me tons of awkward questions about babies, bodies, death, and I’m always honest as there is no point being anything else.
But on the other hand we do Santa because it is harmless fun and adds a bit of magic to Christmas.
My parents did Santa with me, I’m not scarred for life because of it! (Because hey here decent and honest people about everything else)

thegreatbeyond Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:00

We don't 'do' Father Christmas, but at the same time, I don't think I'd be sweeping in and telling baby DS that there is no such thing. Probably will just present it as a fairy story or a mystery, or whatever. No need to be brutal.

Pinkbutton85 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:01

Don’t forget, you tell your child that santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy etc aren’t real, they will tell others and ruin it for them too!

KalaLaka Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:09

I agree with telling children about sex/reproduction when they're very young (although you'll have to repeat it again as they tend to forget, unbelievably!). Don't agree about santa. When they figure it out, they often pretend they haven't because they love the magic of it all.

You'll also have to swear them to secrecy and encourage them to play along with other children's belief in santa... in your eyes, I guess you'll have to encourage them to lie.

Cherrycokewinning Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:10

You sound really daft

Atalune Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:15

Slow clap......

Half term? Well done.

mumzuki Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:52

You must have been very keen to pick a fight with MIL to manage to wrong one out of this before the kid's even born!

Eminybob Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:53

(When I say honest obviously I edit age appropriately)

GummyGoddess Wed 14-Feb-18 18:52:59

There was a thread about this just before Christmas. You are in the minority and I don't think this is going to go well.

I hated the idea of Father Christmas as a child, it freaked me out and upset me every year. I did not feel excitement on the run up to Christmas.

That said, DH wants our dc to have Father Christmas. Therefore we have decided that we will do it but only a small role. He can bring a stocking and one present, that's it, and no trying to blackmail dc into behaving by threatening them with no presents.

Scabetty Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:00

Wow! Only on mumsnet.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:08

😂

NoqontroI Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:10

grin

Olddear Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:11

My parents never lied to me either OP. The ice cream van only plays its chimes when there's no ice cream left.

UrsulaPandress Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:18

Where is this beauty and magic of which you speak?

Do tell as I would love to know.

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