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To Be Annoyed At Interfering Mother

(48 Posts)
Mymumsaknob Wed 14-Feb-18 18:11:51

Name change for this one!

I wrapped my DNieces birthday gifts and gave them to my mum to pass on (im on holiday so wont see DN and they live around 3 hours away). Given in plenty of time for DM to take them down as she is going anyway on 21st. Anyway it was peppa pig toys wrapped in pink princess paper with a pink organza ribbon round them. then in a plain pink hallmark gift bag, the £2.50 nice thick ones (this is relevant).

So last week DM comes round and hands me my gift bag back. She felt it was "too nice" for DN as DS will just throw it away. So shes put it in a bag with lions and animals on from poundland. I didn't really know what to say and, as it sounded petty, left it. However it bugged me all week. its MY choice what bag my gifts go in. And presentation is important to me. I dont want a poundland lion bag, I wanted my bag.

So when I saw her I explained I didn't want the lion bag. She was extremely apologetic and repeatedly said she shouldnt meddle or get involved. She actually dragged it on longer than she should and almost used it for sympathy and I found myself repeatedly saying "it's ok, dont worry, not a problem". Anyway she just text me a photo, with my gift inside a pink minnie mouse bag. Still not what i would have chosen, but better than the cheap looking lion bag. I thanked her, then noticed she has taken the ribbons off the fucking gifts!!! They are plonked inside, no longer ribboned together.

I know how pedantic and pathetic this seems, but I chose a gift for DN, went to a lot of effort ribboning wrapping and putting them in a bag. She has totally changed the bag and taken my ribbons off the gifts. This may be how she sends HER gifts but not how I send mine. I am fuming. I just text back asking why she removed the ribbon and shes now ignoring me.

For the record we get on great and she does interfere and think she knows everything but I've never known her go so far as to actually change peoples gifts or wrapping before. Then again maybe its something she always does and I've just never noticed. She generally passes gifts between me and my DS for ease, but in future I think I may just have to pay to send them in the post.

AIBU and what would you do?

ItchySeveredFoot Wed 14-Feb-18 18:18:10

How weird! I know it probably does seem petty but I'd be annoyed too!

bluebells1 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:32:58

You have to tell her that she did cross a line and also make sure that you don't let her interfere anymore. This is just stupid! What did that bow do to her?!

Bluelady Wed 14-Feb-18 18:40:11

It is petty but I'm with you all the way, I'd be incandescent. I'd put her next birthday present in a Lidl carrier bag.

Thistlebelle Wed 14-Feb-18 18:41:45

She didn’t want your gifts to look prettier that hers.

Post them in future.

Sweetpea55 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:43:04

She sounds a pain in the arse,

NerNerNerNerBATMAN Wed 14-Feb-18 18:56:34

How weird! You could try the classic head tilt whilst saying "DM are you ok? I only ask as that's quite an odd thing to do"

TittyGolightly Wed 14-Feb-18 19:01:30

Anyway it was peppa pig toys wrapped in pink princess paper with a pink organza ribbon round them. then in a plain pink hallmark gift bag

So sexist, wrapped in sexist, tied with sexist in a sexist bag? Sounds like your mother improved it!

Collection2000 Wed 14-Feb-18 19:05:13

My money says Thistlebelle has it right.

Whisperquietly Wed 14-Feb-18 19:06:32

So sexist, wrapped in sexist, tied with sexist in a sexist bag? Sounds like your mother improved it!

Or the DNiece likes pink? Presumably the OP knows her DNiece’s tastes?

Little girl in liking pink shocker!

bunbunny Wed 14-Feb-18 19:17:06

Next time take a picture of the wrapped present and send it to your dsis and dn saying look what is coming for you with granny...

Then they will know that the present looked lovely and they can quiz her as to why she changed it...

LadyLoveYourWhat Wed 14-Feb-18 19:22:02

I don't really understand why the present needed to be wrapped and in a bag. Surely your niece really won't care what it's wrapped in anyway and, as your Mum says, it's just going to get thrown away. Who are you trying to impress?

Fishface77 Wed 14-Feb-18 19:26:32

It seems like a weird competition! Has she done this before with other stuff?
And Ladylove I missed the part where op asked for opinions on her wrapping! She may be trying to make it nice for DN! Nasty.

Dozer Wed 14-Feb-18 19:29:09

Odd. Next time she does a faux apology don’t let her off the hook, just do broken record “yes, please don’t do that again”.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Wed 14-Feb-18 19:32:01

If the kids into peppy pig she won't give a monkeys what it's wrapped in. You're both weird.

Trunkisareshite Wed 14-Feb-18 19:35:40

It’s not sexist if that what she likes Titty.

Pink (the color not the singer) isn’t going to ‘get’ you.

My kids like pink, one of mine loves it in fact, they also know there is no such thing as girls or boys colors and I’m sure the OP’s DS has enough faith in her parenting to not worry about what influence the gift wrap of a kindly bought present is going to have on her children.

OP totally odd behaviour from your DM I’d be wondering if she swapped the gift as well!

TriniRedVelvet Wed 14-Feb-18 19:40:35

I don't really understand why the present needed to be wrapped and in a bag. Surely your niece really won't care what it's wrapped in anyway and, as your Mum says, it's just going to get thrown away. Who are you trying to impress?

It doesn't matter. The OP did the prezzie up the way she wanted. The mum had no right to interfere with that!!!

OP I agree with your username!

ImAPeppermintNightmare Wed 14-Feb-18 19:42:09

This would drive me insane. I don't think it's weird to enjoy making a present look really special for a young child. I'd be bloody furious if I was you. It seems like your mother thinks she knows better than you, and doesn't regard you as a real person in your own right.

Mymumsaknob Wed 14-Feb-18 19:54:09

@TittyGolightly DN is OBSESSED with pink. My listing it all pink was because I was showing it all matched. My DNephew once went through a pink peppa stage. All his gifts were wrapped in pink with Peppa paper too.

@LadyLoveYourWhat Because they were really dodgy shaped gifts, wrapped individually and ribboned together to keep them "still". They couldnt be wrapped together or would have moved round and ripped the paper. And didnt want to just hand her a pile of gifts, it needed a bag. And trying to impress nobody, as i said presentation is important to ME. I would be upset with myself if things did not look how I wanted them to, as I know im capable of it.

Thank you everyone, its good to know its not just me who thinks its wierd! Will definitely confer with my DS as im now wondering about the swapping gifts. All gifts are bought off DN's gift list but, to be fair, I wouldnt know what DM spends and if she swaps her gifts for mine.

GimbleInTheWabe Wed 14-Feb-18 19:57:13

YANBU OP that'd really annoy me too. Definitely post them in the future just to be sure and keep an eye out for similar things where you DM could interfere like that. It seems like you've got eh kind of relationship where you can call her out on this stuff so keep it up and hopefully, eventually she'll get the message. I also agree that she probably didn't like that yours looked nicer than hers.

And to the PP who said the present was 'sexist' as it was wrapped up in pink - biscuit it's a colour, love.

Lethaldrizzle Wed 14-Feb-18 20:24:16

Post present. That way no-one else is involved

bunbunny Wed 14-Feb-18 23:57:29

I've got in the habit of writing on presents rather than putting a tag on them - seen too many instances of tags falling off and then having to wonder who gave which present...

Maybe you could write on the presents as well (can be done nicely - presentation is important to me too!) even if the bag has a tag on it overall - then if your mum tries to swap your gifts for hers, she will need to rewrap completely or risk the present saying it comes from both of you.

Have you double checked with your sis to find out exactly what your mum gave to your dn saying it was from you, (and likewise what she gave from her) to find out if she did swap any of the presents over? Whether you go along the 'did she like the PPig thingy - I saw it and thought of her instantly and hoped she would love it' or 'I don't know what Mum's playing at but she messed up all my wrapping - can I just check that dn did get x, y and PPig from me - or did she 'accidentally on purpose' get mixed up with hers and my presents when she rewrapped them...?' route is something that only you will know how best to proceed!

ComeTheFuck0nBridget Thu 15-Feb-18 00:03:54

Did your Mum or DS reply OP? I'd be fuming about this too!

KeepServingTheDrinks Thu 15-Feb-18 00:28:58

Totally agree your mum was out of order.

The kids won't care, but tell your DSis what you'd done so at least she knows.

I'm wondering if your mum's going to pass off your presents as hers, or nick some of your wrapping for her presents?

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Thu 15-Feb-18 00:47:08

YANBU, you chose how you wanted to present the gift; it might be petty but it was not up to your mum to change that on your behalf.

I'm dyspraxic and now that I can actually wrap quite well, I love choosing lovely tissue and ribbon combos. I'd be livid if someone changed what I had decided was suitable and I got no say.

I do have a bad habit of reclaiming gift bags if I think the recipient will ditch it/doesn't care/is a close relative though. Get my money worth, I do!

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