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To be upset over this?

(7 Posts)
HurtAndUpset11 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:35:59

My DS is 5 and for some reason prefers his dad over me. I have done everything for this child since he was born. DH has never changed his nappy, fed him, clothed him, bathed him, doesn’t even know what his shoe size is. I have done everything and I mean everything, only thing DH does is play with him for 15-20 min a day, they wrestle, play fight etc. Then DH will sit him in front of the TV or tell him to go play in his bedroom, that’s it. I buy him presents, toys, take him out. DH does none of that, then today he got upset over something and I got my arms out to sort of hug him and he just went to his dad. I can’t help but feel so hurt 😢.

I just went into the kitchen and quietly wiped off the tears. I have another DD4 who’s very close to me, I can’t help but think if he will always be like this?

AIBU? Should I just be happy he’s got a good bond with his dad?

I worry that when we get divorced, he will want to live with his dad. DH is very liberal in his parenting and has no clue how to take care of a child, since I’ve done everything which is one of the reasons I’m LTB’ing.

Countingsheeeep Wed 14-Feb-18 12:42:39

I'm sorry your feeling low op.

To be perfectly blunt, I don't read this as your lo preferring dad, it seems more like he is craving his dad due to the lack of attention he is getting from him overall.

It's most likely that he feels very secure in your relationship, which is why from the outside it appears he prefers dad, but I doubt very much deep down this is the case.

Try to see it for what it is op, your lo loves you, is secure with you, and knows you are his constant. He loves you very much and you will reap the rewards when he is older.

Sending hugs!

bobstersmum Wed 14-Feb-18 12:46:05

I agree with countingsheep!

HouseworkIsASin10 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:48:58

He is craving attention from the parent who shows the least.

When he is old enough he'll realise what's been right in front of his face. It's hard though, until that happens. You just have to bite your tongue.

But it will happen.

ShawshanksRedemption Wed 14-Feb-18 12:49:36

I think a few mums go through this OP, where they do pretty much everything and then DH rocks up and the kids think he's the best ever. I've called it "fun-time daddy syndrome" in the past because it makes the dads look like the most valued parent and the mums the most taken-for-granted.

Worldsworstcook Wed 14-Feb-18 12:53:03

Dad's the fun parent, who doesn't tell him to eat his veg, clean his teeth etc, go to bed etc. This may all change when he's too big to wrestle with dad any more and he realises how fab you are with helping with honewirks and snacks etc! My ds adores his dad but when anythingsxwrong it's me he wants and confides in.

Dljlr Wed 14-Feb-18 12:55:36

Totally agree with PP; as easy as it is to take it personally, it's an expression of how secure you make him, and the fact that he doesn't have that same security with his father. Your bond is the stronger one.

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