One of my DCs has a friend (aged 9) who has told us he is allowed to watch some violent films at home. Recently when they were choosing a film to watch, this child pooh-poohed my DC's child choices as boring, suggested watching Blade Runner (rated 15) instead and described a scene from the film where someone had his stomach cut out. Fortunately my DC is a bit of a wuss when it comes to anything scary and said no, but just the conversation has scared him.
I need to raise it with the mum, as I think it's way too early for this kind of film, but I don't want to cause conflict or criticise someone else's parenting. How should I approach this?
You don't approach it, not unless you want an argument with the mum/dad of your DC's friend and to forever be labelled as 'that' mother.
You don't have to like their film choices, you're perfectly entitled to silently judge them for it, but it's up to them what they let their DC watch.
You can make it a rule that at your house they only watch age appropriate content and when your DC is visiting their house you can ask that they don't let him watch unsuitable content but you can't tell them what they should/shouldn't be letting their own DC watch.
My DS is a similar age and his friend was allowed to watch Deadpool so I had fucking weeks of "but whyyyyyyyyyyyyy can't I watch it" complete with overdramatic flailing about and much huffing so I do get where you're coming from.
My ds has a similar friend. Basically a lack of sufficient supervision and internet connected device in bedroom. I worry hugely about what this kid has seen but my ds knows I brook none of that nonsense and doesn't ask. In fact he hates anything scary or gross and would avoid it.
I would tread carefully, it really depends on the situation. If they are at the other child's house and your DC is being pressured to watch unsuitable films then I think it's fine to mention it. Otherwise if the other child is just commenting on what they are allowed to watch at home then it's really not your business and will likely cause conflict.
It may be some bragging by the friend, and that he's seen a part of the film when walking into the living room maybe rather than watched the whole thing? Or if he's got older siblings, has heard about this part? Has the friend actually told you, the adults, he is allowed to watch these films?