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This isn't ok is It?

(7 Posts)
Obloody Tue 13-Feb-18 20:09:05

So partner has just been made redundant 2 months ago, looking for another similar paying position, we have a 9 month old. The thing is, I'm going back to uni September and looking for a part time job, however, he doesn't do anything! I get up through the night with baby- up when baby wakes up, change baby, feed baby, put baby down for a nap, bath time, cook, clean!! All while he does nothing besides be on his phone 'looking for a job' or playing on his game all night then saying he's tired all day, then it reaches 7pm and he goes to the gym for 3 hours (30 mins there and back) since baby was born the longest ice been away from him is 30 minutes (a bath)!!
What can I do????

cherryontopp Tue 13-Feb-18 20:13:00

You'll get bombarded with LTB!
Sounds like a cock lodger.

have you sat him down and had a conversation with him about it? Or just whinged here and there?
How long have you been together?

Sit him down and say things have to change. It's not acceptable for him to do nothing with his own child, nothing in his own house especially while hes not working.

Id have a serious think about your future

socksandrocks Tue 13-Feb-18 20:18:04

Leave him with baby for as long as you can, go out all day and see how he gets on. He might have some more appreciation for you.

Let him know you expect dinner and a clean house too

Blackteadrinker77 Tue 13-Feb-18 20:46:15

You can sit down with him tell him it stops now, you're not his Mum and you won't act like you are.

This is a post I made a few months ago copy and pasted in.

My friend trained her partner in the best way ever.

She sat down with him weeks after they moved in together. He literally was a snail, left a trail behind him every where he went.
She sat with him calmly and told him that she was not his Mum and would be treat as if she was. He was to tidy after himself and take a share in the cleaning etc.
He said he would blah, blah.
Next day when she got up an hour after him his dishes were in the sink, dirty clothes and towel on the floor (A foot from the basket). He left opened letters on the couch.

That night they went to bed and to his horror his dishes, clothes and letters were on his side of the bed. He said it was unfair, she said it's unfair to leave them. No shouting, no more discussion.
He put them on the floor and went to sleep. She continued to do this for around a week until he got the message that she wouldn't be doing it.

Years later they are still together and very happy now he pulls his weight.

You teach people how you are willing to be treat.

allthegoodusernameshavegone Tue 13-Feb-18 20:48:55

He might be suffering with depression

WTFIsThisVirus Tue 13-Feb-18 20:52:25

Did he do anything in the house when he was working? I'm going to assume no.

BigHoof Tue 13-Feb-18 22:13:03

Why don't you elbow him out of bed when the baby cries at night?

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