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Trying to be the best manager I can but what to do next?

(4 Posts)
TakingChances1 Tue 13-Feb-18 20:05:39

Not sure if best place to post but just so tired and after views/advice! I have the most wonderful, dedicated team., we've been established and together for a long time and have always been very successful. We have a great culture and lots of collegiate support, but we're under crippling pressure and I'm exhausted. In a team of 18, I have 2 who have major health issues and are each undergoing cancer type treatments, another who is just going through emergency tests and has been warned likely has cancer, 2 with major mental health issues, 1 suffering multiple miscarriages and infertility, another whose child is extremely unwell and another who has just lost their husband very unexpectedly. At work I work really hard to make sure each member of staff has the time and space they need to deal with this and we are as supportive and flexible as possible. Now I know this is not about me, of course its not and they are each facing huge issues which are hugely worrying and difficult. What they need is a supportive manager who will help and support as much as humanly possible. However, not all of them are open with the other about their particular situation, so I am the sole person who knows about each person and I feel I am carrying so much and not sure where to go with it. I spend a lot of time each day in one to one support with this group of people (partly relates to the nature of our work (social welfare type roles but not public sector)), and I come home really worrying about them, wanting to make it better. I asked for professional supervision from someone external to the organisation and was told 'no' due to budget. Our team has no more 'give' in terms of flexibility and the pressure from senior management makes me pretty sure that turning to them wouldn't much help. Where they are aware of issues I'm pressured to consider staff's 'capabilities' etc. Our whole team are very good and very capable, we've just been extremely unlucky. How do I move us all forwards?

YorkshireLurker Tue 13-Feb-18 23:56:16

Do your company have an employee assistance program?

Many, including mine, have an outsourced that provides confidential support, counselling etc at no cost to the employee. Perhaps this is worth looking at?

Otherwise you'll run yourself into the ground, you can tell you're trying your best though thanks

Itsjustaphase84 Wed 14-Feb-18 00:14:24

I agree with pp, if they have it it needs to be promoted. This is me at work, frequently. I dealt with 3 miscarriages from 3 different women whilst i was ttc. This was very hard. Add to that the other teams well being it its mental health. If you can, block out same time every week for indepth 121 type chats with them. Share your calendar so they know what you are doing that day/week.

I had to make sure this didnt affect my personal life. Ive grown up witnessing severe family MH issues which i had to ignore / bury away when appropriate which helps me deal.

Because of the increasing support managers are giving staff with these type of issues HR agreed web training on how to handle issues. It might be worth contacting charities like Macmillan or MIND to understand how you can support yourself and your team better. Im sure they can provide free advice.

planetclom Wed 14-Feb-18 00:57:44

EPA and Occupational Health, plus pass this stress up the line, your line manager is their for you to ask advice and asks for help, use them.

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