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My son has thrown a fit and stormed out, what do I do?

(75 Posts)
MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:02:34

He's 15. There's an ongoing situation which has upset him very much. I have been as supportive as I know how to be, arranged for him to have counselling through the school, but tonight it has all kicked off.

He says I've been winding him up all day, haven't asked him if he is ok for the last 3 months, I can fuck off and he doesn't want to be my son any more.

What the hell do I do? He won't answer his phone. I don't know where he is. This isn't like him at all, this situation has really upset him.

I think I just want a handhold until he comes back...

Mimsy123 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:05:44

Is it true that you haven’t asked how he is for 3 months?

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:06:59

No. this situation happened in the last month, I have been asking him every day. I have said to him that if he wants to talk, he can come and talk to me any time, about anything.

GreenTulips Tue 13-Feb-18 18:07:50

Well he'll be round a mates house letting of steam

When he's calmed down he'll have a think about it and come home


Call a few friends if it makes you feel better! Running away isn't as much fun as they think

gillybeanz Tue 13-Feb-18 18:08:58

Hello my love, well worth the name change.

first of all don't panic.
Unfortunately, we all hurt the ones we love when tthings aren't right.
Does he have money for food, eaten recently?
This will/can gauge when he's likely to come back.

Do you know where he will be, friends? Does he have to be back tonight to get to school in the morning, or is he half term?

Sorry, so many questions but all mine have done this at some time.

PlaymobilPirate Tue 13-Feb-18 18:09:00

Any idea where he will have gone? A friend/ family member?

He's unlikely to answer the phone. I'd text a d say you love him, support him and will be ready moisten when he comes home.

Unless you're worried about his MH then I'd consider ringing the non emergency police number

FuzzyCustard Tue 13-Feb-18 18:09:25

Agree with green tulips. 15 is a prime age for dramatics, even if he has some issues that are being sorted. Try not to worry, I bet he'll be home very soon.

SaucyJack Tue 13-Feb-18 18:09:33

He'll be fine.

He's 15, and it's only 6pm. He'll probably just go to the Co-op, buy a big bag of crisps, rage munch them in the park- and then he'll be home later.

Try not to take it too seriously if he looks sorry later. He's just lashing out because he isn't able to process his emotions in a adult manner.

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:09:37

His nearest mate is 2 miles away down unlit country roads... I wish I could call friends, but one of them know about the situation and it has to stay that way.

Sorry, just needed to tell someone, even if it's someone faceless on the internet. Especially if, actually...

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:10:27

*none of them, sorry, fat fingers

MatildaTheCat Tue 13-Feb-18 18:10:48

Can you call round friends and/or their parents? Explain he’s upset hence being worried, not just a teenage strop.

Really hope he’s home safely soon. He is projecting his anger onto you because you are a safe target. flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 13-Feb-18 18:11:43

You always hurt the ones you love.
As pp says he'll come home soon.

crashbangwhallop Tue 13-Feb-18 18:11:48

You don't have to tell them what has caused it but you can say he's gone out and not come back? I'd be ringing round saying you're worried he's not home. Or out looking for him. I hope he's home soon OP xx

Lifeisabeach09 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:12:19

I suggest you have a glass of wine and give him space to cool off. He'll be back.
When he is calmer (and home!), be sure to address the way he speaks to you.
Sounds the stress of the situation (plus teenager hormones) is getting to him.

Mimsy123 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:12:30

As GreenTulips said, he’ll calm down and come home. Maybe with a little contrition too.

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:12:32

He may just be sitting somewhere up the lane. I don't dare go and look because if he sees me coming he'll go further. There isn't anyone he could go to within 2 miles.

He does have good reason for the dramatics. But I honestly don't know what else I can do to help. I can't make the situation not happen, as much as I wish I could.

Megs4x3 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:12:43

Breathe deeply and wait a bit. Whatever is going on, he's lashing out at you because you're a safe target. Give him time to cool down and come back with an apology. Teen years can have these episodes even without an 'ongoing situation'. Fingers crossed he'll be back by bedtime. If not, worry about that then. I hope the 'ongoing situation' is resolveable.

gillybeanz Tue 13-Feb-18 18:14:11

Ditto, to sending a text saying how much you love him, are there when he needs you, and a x

I always do this, not sure if it helps them, but always worth doing.

Do you want to talk about the problem, why he thinks you haven't shown support, when I'm sure you have. thanks

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:14:17

Ha ha I wish I liked wine! Ciggy and a cup of tea for me.

This is the first time he's ever done anything like this. I'm lost. I was so proud of having such a sensible child. That's gone, although I'd NEVER let him know that. I just don't know how to deal with this.

MincemeatTart Tue 13-Feb-18 18:14:36

Two miles down an unlit country road is fine for a fifteen year old to walk. He’ll calm down and come home, undoubtedly. Stop fretting, make a cup of tea and wait patiently.

MyKingdomforaNameChange Tue 13-Feb-18 18:16:47

Thanks everyone x

The situation is sort of resolved, but his feelings about it aren't.

I'm not sure why he thinks I haven't shown support. I supported him from the moment I found out about the situation, arranged counselling when he said he would like it, told him I'm always there if he wants to talk or has any questions.

But that's not good enough and he won't tell me what else he wants me to do.

MadMags Tue 13-Feb-18 18:17:31

Does he have his phone? I agree with sending a text.

Is whatever happened resolved now? If there was someone involved is he still around that person?

MadMags Tue 13-Feb-18 18:17:57

Sorry! Posted too soon. Could they still have unwanted/secret contact?

Kaykay06 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:18:30

Aw been there with my 16 year old who has many issues and storms about throws a wobbler frequently

You sound like a caring supportive mum, not sure how much else you can do. At that age you’re damnned if you do and if you don’t do or say stuff. Especially hard if it’s something he feels he can’t share with friends, my son has stiff he can’t/won’t share with friends and it’s incredibly isolating for him. He feels like no one feels the same or understands him.

I hope he cools off and comes home soon, does he have a phone you could text. My son just blanks me when things get too much but does say when he’s feeling better that he loves and me he knows he’s being a tool - his words. But Things get too mjch and he blows and needs time alone.
Will be thinking of you flowers

Notevilstepmother Tue 13-Feb-18 18:19:41

Hand hold.

Sending a text is a good idea. I’d leave him a little while to calm down and then go out and look, he might actually be pleased to see you as he has got it into himself head that you don’t care.

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