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To ask you to tell me it's going to be ok?

(15 Posts)
GoldenOrb Tue 13-Feb-18 14:03:02

I'm 18 months into the divorce process. It's been a total struggle as stbxh doesn't want to get divorced and has stalled all through the process. We are almost there, and finally I am just about allowing myself to believe that the end is almost in sight. Except now it's almost here, I just feel like crying. I don't feel happy that we are almost there, or relief that soon it will be done, but that the whole process has been so stressful and I've managed to hold it together and keep going, that now I think I'm going to completely fall apart.

Please tell me it's going to be ok?

I've still got to try and buy a house before my rental property is up (summer time), so there is more stress to come. I know I've got to keep on keeping on, but fuck me it's hard.

SillyLittleBiscuit Tue 13-Feb-18 14:30:56

It will absolutely be ok flowers

JustKeepDancing Tue 13-Feb-18 14:52:25

It will be ok. It's hard and horrible, but it will be ok flowers

GrannyGrissle Tue 13-Feb-18 14:53:57

But after the mega shitball of stress....Freedom!!! Always focus on how things will be 6 months from now. Write it down if it helps you focus on future aims as it's hard view an end to the stress. flowers

CanIhavedessertfirst Tue 13-Feb-18 14:59:16

It really will be ok! I got divorced 2 years ago and can honestly say that when the decree absolute is in your hands, you will cry the happiest tears of your life!

GoldenOrb Tue 13-Feb-18 17:04:48

Granny I need to hang onto that promise of freedom! I'll work on visualising how things will be in 6 months.

CanIhavedessertfirst (great username btw!) I can't wait for that moment! It's been such a long struggle to get here. I should be able to apply for the decree absolute in the next month once the financial consent order is signed off by the court (and I've got everything crossed that it doesn't get rejected)

Thesmallthings Tue 13-Feb-18 17:09:10

It's competely normal to feel like this nearing the end.

Your body and mind has been working ober time to get you through the worst and now the end is near your mind get process everything it's gone through which is mentally and physically draining.

Feel what your feeling and focus on the positives in the furture to look forward to.

GoldenOrb Tue 13-Feb-18 18:44:02

thesmallthings what I’m worried about if I do feel the feelings, is that they get overwhelming and I fall into some deep depression. I understand that I’m feeling worse now because I have the space to be allowed to, but what if I can’t cope with all the ensuing emotions?

Thesmallthings Tue 13-Feb-18 19:06:04

You will cope my lovely. Youv coped so far havnt You? You will continue to cope.

The fact that your aware that depression could happen means that your self awared enough to get help if it does.. and then you'll get through that.

GoldenOrb Tue 13-Feb-18 20:32:34

Yes I’ve coped so far. It’s probably just my mind getting carried away with “what if”...

MagicFajita Tue 13-Feb-18 20:39:02

You're over the worst of it op. It will work out just fine.

I had a stalling exh too and by the time I recieved my decree absolute I felt so indifferent due to the exhaustion that I just filed the document away and carried on with my day. A couple of flimsy bits of stapled , stamped paper feels a bit of an anticlimax after all of that stressy crapsmile

Keep going and give yourself a pat on the back for making it this farflowers

AmysTiara Tue 13-Feb-18 20:41:35

It will be better than ok . Im going through the same thing and i tell myself constantly its all going to be fine. flowers

Cupoteap Tue 13-Feb-18 20:54:27

Sounds like me a year ago - getting that piece of paper meant and still means, so much. You CAN do this, it is worth it. Just that final bit of the journey x

GoldenOrb Tue 13-Feb-18 20:54:43

I just feel so much worse at the moment than I did at the start of this process. Part of the freedom has already come - I moved out of the house (because he refused to) 18 months ago. I’m looking forward to being able to buy my own house, but it feels like more stress.

You are right to focus on where I will be in 6 months time. Because hopefully by then I should be in the new house and this will all be over. I really will be in the next phase of my life and can put this bit behind me.

EmiliaAirheart Tue 13-Feb-18 21:17:38

GoldenOrb, you are brave and strong and those traits will help you through the tough bits to come. Please let yourself feel things if that would relieve some pressure, because you absolutely can cope flowers

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