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To disagree with friend leaving 2 under 4 in bath ...

(45 Posts)
SofieMonde Mon 12-Feb-18 17:24:21

while she is downstairs. She thinks it's ok "because I can hear them"

limon Mon 12-Feb-18 17:29:58

Yanbu. S/he is being completely unreasonale.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Mon 12-Feb-18 17:30:09

shock YANBU! You can't hear drowning.

Shoxfordian Mon 12-Feb-18 17:30:33

She's obviously wrong

Valkyrie99 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:30:36

YANBU. No it's not ok. Drowning is silent and they can drown in a bathtub.

SomeRandomBird Mon 12-Feb-18 17:31:13

YANBU confused fine to nip out and get towels, not leave them on a different floor.

SofieMonde Mon 12-Feb-18 17:31:54

I have told her this but it falls on deaf ears. What should I do next as I worry for the kids?

LovingLola Mon 12-Feb-18 17:32:32

She is very stupid. Is this regularly happening?

MadRainbow Mon 12-Feb-18 17:32:46

I don't leave my 4 year old in the bath for more than a min at a time confused and I'm in a flat...

Shoxfordian Mon 12-Feb-18 17:33:19

What is she like as a parent apart from this?

MadRainbow Mon 12-Feb-18 17:34:23

Just read your last post - I don't think, unless there are any other safeguarding issues, there is anything you can do sad hopefully someone else may have a better idea

GummyGoddess Mon 12-Feb-18 17:36:44

Mention to a health visitor? She's being stupid and her feelings are not more valid than the lives of her children.

MamaDuckling Mon 12-Feb-18 17:37:17

Awful thing to have to search for but could you find anything to forward her, accounts of the unthinkable? Might make her think twice.

KarmaStar Mon 12-Feb-18 17:37:57

Suggest if she's going to leave them that she buys them a support each which prevents the child sinking below the water,sort of like a rubber ring but fixed further up the body.But you should continue to voice your concerns.If she continues to ignore you then you may have to consider speaking to someone else.
She is being ridiculously stupid and risking her children's lives.
Less than a couple of minutes stand between dead children and a manslaughter charge.

Hotdoggity Mon 12-Feb-18 17:39:59

God no. I think I prevent about ten accidents every single bathtime!

Oblomov18 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:41:42

Recommendations are :

"Never leave your child alone in the tub until they are 5, and then only leave them briefly until they are at least 7. "

SofieMonde Mon 12-Feb-18 17:43:03

Not a new thing has been doing it since the first one was little. She is very emotionally distant as a mother. Doesn't seem to enjoy spending time with them and also leaves them watching telly while she naps upstairs.
Who else can I talk to about this?

MincemeatTart Mon 12-Feb-18 17:43:36

A very silly thing to do. Not only drowning but head injury risk.

Shoxfordian Mon 12-Feb-18 17:43:57

Social services if you're really worried

SofieMonde Mon 12-Feb-18 17:47:29

What will social services do ? Have a chat

MadRainbow Mon 12-Feb-18 17:50:39

The emotional distance is worrying including the other issues you've mentioned. I know of a lady recently that has had her child removed due to an escalation of this. She started out lazy and became neglectful over time; we aren't sure why exactly but again she doesn't believe she has done anything wrong.

I do know the SS are far less likely to take notice of a "unrelated party" than they are of a family member (my brother is going through all of this atm) can you involve the child's father or a grandparent at all?

upsideup Mon 12-Feb-18 17:51:57

How long is she leaving them for? I left DS4 in the bath upstairs today to go down stairs to open the door to dd, was gone less than a minute. Theres a big difference between leaving a todler for 1 minute or 20 minutes.

upsideup Mon 12-Feb-18 17:53:44

Who is washing them? They can't be getting themselves in and out of the bath alone at under 4

SofieMonde Mon 12-Feb-18 17:54:19

About 10-15mins

Giraffey1 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:56:55

Are there on official leaflets etc you give her so she can see it’s not just you saying it’s the wrong thing to do? I’m not a parent but the thought of what she is doing horrifies me!

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