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it's not bloody weird to go away without your significant other, is it?!

(39 Posts)
HakeLively Mon 12-Feb-18 17:01:03

I mean, I used to do it all the time in my previous relationship, because we could hardly ever get time off together.

My DP have had all holidays together. Thinking about it though I haven't had a holiday at all in nearly two years apart from a crap works trip to stay in a hotel that looked like a filing cabinet in Cologne.

I can have a week off at the end of the May. DP cannot. I want to go away by myself somewhere (as I said, I used to do this all the time) but DP ia being weird about it, saying it's weird to go away by oneself when in a relationship and why would I want to do that?

Because I don't want to spend a boring week where we live where the highlights are checking the bloody cat for fleas or wondering if it's going to be Denise or Julie that does the areobics class on Wednesday, you fuckwit.

I used to go to lovely European cities where I had a lovely room all to myself, drank wine in little town squares and shared croissants with friendly sparrows. Had fondue all to myself in Switzerland and drank prosecco on ramshackle rooftops in Italy. It was bliss! I barely even talked to anybody.

AIBU to just go away by myself again? I mean, I'm not asking DP for permission, as fortunately his second name is not Grey, but AIBU to think it's a perfectly normal thing to do?

LittleFeileFooFoo Mon 12-Feb-18 17:04:44

Yanbu, i like a bit of alone time too. Being alone, Drinking wine and feeding sparrows sounds fantastic!

I don't have any recommendations about how to convince/reassure your dh though..
Maybe you are going top start a novel and need time alone to contemplate?.

NiteFlights Mon 12-Feb-18 17:07:41

I think it's fine. If I go away by myself it's usually to stay with my sister, but it's still a holiday. DH has been away for a week a couple of times while I stayed at home. As long as you agree the budget and it's not taking away from time you'd otherwise like to spend on holiday together, I don't see a problem at all. Making you stay at home sounds weird to me.

Shoxfordian Mon 12-Feb-18 17:08:23

Yanbu at all

Its good to have separate interests and spend time apart too.

He's being weird and clingy

user187656748 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:08:28

I think its usual but fine if that's what you want to do.

SillyLittleBiscuit Mon 12-Feb-18 17:08:28

My exH thought the same way. He said "people would talk" which was worse than me being desperate to visit somewhere other than Florida but him never wanting to.

If your H is generally ok I'd probably try and find out what his fears/misgivings really were then reassure him and book away!

wewentoutonsunday Mon 12-Feb-18 17:13:07

It's not weird. Have a good time. smile

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Mon 12-Feb-18 17:13:50

Not weird at all. If you're DP can't take that time off anyway, why does he care what you do with your week off?

Agree with above, ask him what his objections actually are other than 'It's weird'. Point out that you haven't actually had a holiday in 2 years and really want one.

Why would you want to spend a week at home while he's at work, when like you say, you could be drinking wine and feeding sparrows?

I say go for it.

dentydown Mon 12-Feb-18 17:15:02

It’s not weird, I would even say its healthy. My aunt does it all the time and she’s been married over 50 years!

Bluelady Mon 12-Feb-18 17:15:07

What's weird about it? My husband would think it weird if I didn't.

FaFoutis Mon 12-Feb-18 17:15:31

That sounds lovely. I go away by myself a lot, it's not weird. I love a hotel room to myself best of all.

tinytemper66 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:15:40

I often go away with my friend as her husband and mine work together and can't get the same time off. So we go off on a jaunt.
Next one is Madrid in the summer!

teaandtoast Mon 12-Feb-18 17:15:45

I've not done it myself, but why not?

Surely you'd rather your partner enjoyed themselves for a week in the Italian sunshine than did more housework at home?

HakeLively Mon 12-Feb-18 17:16:07

Yeah, it's pissed me off. He's not a jealous type at all. He just thinks people in relationships holiday together and having s break by yourself is a very single person thing to do so oh good Christ there must be some sort of gaping chasm in that relationship.

Nope. It is as simple as a) I enjoy my own company (someone's got to after all 😂) b) it's holiday alone or no holiday.

Oh- and his last holiday was last summer, with a group of mates, (I was invited but couldn't have the time off) but that's completely different and NOT WEIRD LIKE GOING ON YOUR OWN, apparently.

Abracadabraapileofbollocks Mon 12-Feb-18 17:17:39

DH has just had a week away. Not odd at all. I am yet to be able to. But it's circumstance rather than weirdness!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Mon 12-Feb-18 17:17:56

Yeah that would piss me off too to be honest.

Namelesswonder Mon 12-Feb-18 17:18:19

Go for it! Not weird at all. My DH is going skiing for a week with friends, I’m going for a week away with friends. We both have different interests - I hate skiing, he hates museums- this way we are both happy. We also go on family holidays.

Smarshian Mon 12-Feb-18 17:18:37

Once or twice a year me and DH go on separate trips (usually long weekends) I usually visit friends etc as does he. Id not find it weird if he wanted to go alone though.

Liz38 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:18:54

Not weird at all. DH does it every year. I don't but I get other time to match it because that's what I want. He has a fab time, sometimes goes alone, sometimes with friends. I'm happy that he's happy and even happier that I don't have to go too because it's not a hobby I share. Your trip sounds way more fun than his to me!

Moonandstars84 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:20:17

Yanbu

MarmaladeIsMyJam Mon 12-Feb-18 17:23:43

What exactly does he expect you do do for a full week at home? Fucking clean or something? What’s his alternative suggestion to you going away?

fitbitbore Mon 12-Feb-18 17:23:55

Sounds like heaven!!! Enjoy!

Crispbutty Mon 12-Feb-18 17:24:33

I think if it’s your ONLY holiday then it would seem a bit off, but that would be my only reason. I went away with my mates a few times while I was with my ex, to European cities for a short break, even went on honeymoon with my best mate (wedding cancelled last minute and she didn’t want to waste her money or cancel the holiday so we had a great week in the algarve 😁) ..

My DP goes on occasional fishing weekends with his mate and I know he wouldn’t have any issue if I said I was going to go to somewhere like Rome for example on my own with my camera or with a friend.

At the moment for us, money is tight so it wouldn’t be fair in my opinion if one of us got to go away while the other didn’t , but that would be my only issue.

virtualreality Mon 12-Feb-18 17:39:47

I have two or three trips ( a few days each) per year with friends or on my own.

DP and I have a couple of holidays aswell. He doesn't like to travel without me but has no problem with me going away myself. I know we are lucky to be able to afford all this travelling, but if DP ever said don't go I would be out the door, locks changed the works. Controlling never worked for me.

Just book it and go. It will tell you all you need to know about your relationship.

pringlecat Mon 12-Feb-18 18:40:22

I think it's a bit weird if you're both off work at the same time and you generally only have one holiday each year.

However in the scenario you've described, it sounds perfectly normal. It's not as if you're telling him he can't come - it's his employer who won't let him have the time off.

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