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Wwyd? Someone faking a pregnancy

59 replies

Steeley113 · 12/02/2018 14:09

So someone I work with has been saying they’re pregnant (in my line of work this means your placed straight on light duties). There was some confusion initially about dating and her saying she had a miscarriage then didn’t that was all a bit suspicious but no one said anything. She then stated last week she went for her 12 week scan and there was no baby to be found and she was to come back the next day for another scan. I messaged her on Facebook following the scan to ask how it went and she said great and sent me a picture of the ‘scan’. The scan had been pushed up to the top but had a date on of 2015. She has other children and I was a bit suspicious so I checked her previous Facebook photos and found it was the exact scan of her previous child.

I’m actually higher up then her in rank in our job and as she’s still asking for time off for appts and amended duties, I feel as though I should go to the manager with this but at the same time, it’s really non of my business. It will all come out eventually regardless but I see my other colleagues picking up the slack and feel quite bad that it’s all potentially made up? Would you go to the manager or just leave it? This girl has quite a rep for lying about things...

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MrsPreston11 · 12/02/2018 14:11

Go to the manager.

I used to work with a compulsive liar.

As well as all the bullshit "sick" days she stole quite a bit of money from the company before she was caught.

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Blankuser1992 · 12/02/2018 14:13

That’s horrible of her,

I’d go to manager with your concerns and they will go from there etc

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Snowydaysarehere · 12/02/2018 14:15

As a teen my friend faked pregnancy after pregnancy, mc here mc there - def fake . Drained us all of sympathy tbh. As an adult she has been unable to have dc.
Poor woman.
Def take it higher, she obviously needs some help.

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expatinscotland · 12/02/2018 14:17

Report it

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HairyWorm · 12/02/2018 14:21

It is totally possible that she could have had some issues in early pregnancy and has been vague or given misinformation rather than divulge personal details.

Personally, I would probably step back and see how it unfolds as you can't lie about a pregnancy for long. However, the sensible thing to do would be to speak to your manager about your concerns.

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bluecashmere · 12/02/2018 14:25

Obviously it will all be resolved soon enough. Just in case there has been some kind of miscarriage or there are problems I would hold off doing anything for now. Give it a couple of weeks and if you still have concerns speak to your manager.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/02/2018 14:25

I don't know how she's getting away with it to be honest. Didn't her boss ask for proof eg hospital letter confirming her pregnancy.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 12/02/2018 14:30

I’d mention to management that you’re concerned about her as what she’s saying doesn’t make sense. Do it without sounding like you’re accusing her or dobbing her in.

It’s very odd. I wonder if there’s something else going on that’s causing her to be so strange about it but it’s bound to come out in the wash.

I know someone who faked an entire 9 months, it started when the person I know broke up with her. She said he couldn’t as she was pregnant. Then she said she wasn’t. She was very unstable and then blocked him on everything, he was told by someone else she’d given birth, then that he wasn’t the father, and finally that it was all a lie. Just bizarre.

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Lucymek · 12/02/2018 14:33

Could she be adopting or having a surrogate.

Could one of her children or relatives be pregnant and she is planning to raise it ?

I thought work asked for a letter for pregnancy ?

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SPARKS17 · 12/02/2018 14:38

From what you've written, you don't know for certain she is faking it therefore I would step back and say nothing.

If your suspicions are true it will come out later, but at this stage its not for you to interfere even if suspicious.

Your management should have a policy in place to prove pregnancy if a change of duties are required so early.

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NoWordForFluffy · 12/02/2018 14:39

You don't generally get a letter confirming you're pregnant. You get your notes then your MATB1 at around 20-25 weeks.

I think I'd probably monitor it for a bit and then decide if there was something going on I should report up the management chain.

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LagunaBubbles · 12/02/2018 14:42

I would definitely report her.

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Shedmicehugh · 12/02/2018 14:42

I would leave it, just in case I was wrong.

Being accused of faking a pregency, is quite an accusation. I would let the manager handle it.

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TheVanguardSix · 12/02/2018 14:42

As others have said, I'd hold back. By 20 weeks, faking it will be impossible. Leave it for now because it's too difficult to prove your position, whereas a few weeks down the line, it will be impossible for her to prove hers!

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HotelEuphoria · 12/02/2018 14:43

I would raise your concerns now. She obviously can't keep an imaginary pregnancy going forever but she can feign a miscarriage and whatever sick leave she may get as a result.

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PinkHeart5914 · 12/02/2018 14:44

I would just leave it, there is always the chance you are wrong and even if you are right her web of lies will catch her out in the end!

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QueenOfGaviscon · 12/02/2018 14:44

I'd leave it for now as soon she'll have to produce a MATB1 & surely she can't fake one of them x

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Steeley113 · 12/02/2018 14:44

My manager is new and fairly new to the job. I was the first pregnant employee she had to deal with (and I was already very pregnant when she came into post) so I don’t think she thought to ask for proof of pregnancy. There could be complications but a lot of what’s been said to different staff hasn’t added up or been the same each time. I think I’ll just mention something in passing to the manager when I’m next in,

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KateAdiesEarrings · 12/02/2018 14:45

I wouldn't do anything. As PPs have said, you can't fake a pregnancy indefinitely and since she's not your direct report she doesn't have to give you accurate information about her pregnancy (or scan pics!).

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JennyBlueWren · 12/02/2018 14:48

In response to the comments about asking for letters for pregnancy, I was only asked for one when I contacted HR about maternity leave when they sent me a form to fill in and return with my MAT B and I have had a LOT of appointments recently.

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mayhew · 12/02/2018 14:49

I worked with a pregnancy faker. She went right to the "premature birth at 36 weeks". Her scan pic was her sisters. She didn't submit a Mat B1, because she "wasn't coming back after the birth".
She was found out when the manager rang her dad to ask when she could bring round some gifts.

She was a nurse.

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mayhew · 12/02/2018 14:50

We had baby pics and everything.

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Steeley113 · 12/02/2018 14:51

I was never asked to prove any of my appointments either and I’ve had weekly ones, she wasn’t even sure what to do with my mat b1 form. I suppose it will all catch up with her but I feel awful for my colleagues. Quite a few have had miscarriages (including myself just before this pregnancy) and a couple have had still borns so if she fakes it and people find out it will cause chaos.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 12/02/2018 14:53

Blimey mayhew. That’s a sign something’s going badly wrong. Did anyone ever ask her why?

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Emmageddon · 12/02/2018 15:04

I wouldn't say anything. If she's not pregnant, it will soon become apparent. As others have said, she maybe having a baby by some other means, and she isn't willing to share this with all and sundry. Unless she reports directly to you, then it's not really your business.

I have worked with a compulsive liar, although she didn't lie about pregnancy, she lied about how she singlehandedly saved a child from drowning/performed CPR on the bus when someone collapsed/talked someone off the ledge on the way to work - not a day went by when she wasn't called upon to save the day. It all got a bit tiresome, but people that make things up are generally not very well mentally, there's usually an underlying reason for lying.

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