AIBU re. lending/returning DVD?(7 Posts)
Six or so months ago, I lent someone a DVD (The Second Coming, with Christopher Eccleston and Lesley Sharp, written by Russell T. Davies - well worth a watch).
Well, when I say 'lent', I mean, they were round my house, saw it, and said, 'Ooh, can I borrow this?'
I normally have a zero tolerance policy of lending stuff due to bad experiences of never getting things back. But in this case I trusted the person concerned and said yeah, go on.
I didn't see that person for a few months after that, but when I did, I said, 'How did you find The Second Coming?'
They replied, 'Oh, I haven't watched it yet.'
I thought, seriously? After three months? If I borrowed something I was keen on I would watch it almost right away. But I said, Oh, OK.
Three months later, i.e. last Saturday, I bumped into this person again, in the pub.
'How did you find The Second Coming?' I asked.
They replied, 'Oh, I still haven't watched it.'
After six months?! Suspecting they had lost it or given it away, I said, 'Well, could I have it back now, as it's been so long?'
They scowled angrily at me and said, 'Huh! Do you want me to go round my house and get it for you?'
As they lived just around the corner from the pub, I said, 'Well, yes please, actually.'
They stormed off and I sat there feeling small, then angry - why should I feel bad? - and when they returned they slapped the DVD down on the pub table and stormed off.
So I got my DVD back but lost a friendship.
So was I being unreasonable? Surely when you borrow something, you should return it? Borrow - return. Borrow - return. Simples.
I'm on the fence tbh, sounds like they were very rude slapping it down on the table. BUT unless I specifically wanted to watch the DVD I wouldn't be asking for it to be returned and I certainly wouldn't have sent them to fetch it while I was in the pub which I also think is very rude!
Not helpful I'm sure
This would boil my piss too so I am with you on the annoyance. In principle, your friend is definitely the UR one. But DVD's are so bloody cheap now that I probably would have swallowed my bile and just bought a replacement if I had really wanted to watch it. I don't think it's worth losing a friend over (unless of course they were a pain in the arse in other ways!) Pub thing is definitely pretty rude though, sorry.
They behaved badly. Should have got the hint the first time you asked and thought to return it.
I'm the same as you now and won't lend things to anyone. Too many good books/DVDs/videos have been 'lost' by lending them to friends and never seeing the item ever again. Why should I pay to replace them? if you borrow something you bloody well give it back after a reasonable length of time!
See, I agree that I would be annoyed by someone "borrowing" a DVD for six months and then having to be the one to ask for it back.
What stood out for me from your OP is your friends reaction. If someone says to me hey Gekko you've still got my DVD that you borrowed ages ago. Could I have it back please. My automatic response would be oooh sorry let me know when you're free and I'll pop round for coffee with it.
From your friends response though it doesn't sound like you politely suggested it was time to give back the DVD. Their aggressive initial response makes me think that you were possibly quite aggressive and rude when
demanding requesting it back. Does that maybe ring true?
If you were perfectly polite in your request then YANBU and you're probably better off without a friend like that.
If your request was rude or more a demand to have it back immediately then YABU and you should probably reconsider your priorities in life.
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