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A wedding invite one

(22 Posts)
bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 07:58:52

I normally only lurk but I'd like to check with the Mumsnet jury on this one...

Getting married this autumn. Inviting all cousins and their families. One cousin has new-ish girlfriend (about 2 years I'd guess) and who I've met a couple of times and seems really nice. She has two pre-teens who I haven't met. Of course I'll invite my cousin with his girlfriend, but should I invite the kids as well?

ShatnersWig Mon 12-Feb-18 08:01:03

2 years is in no way classed as new-ish!

Are they having to travel or do they live locally? Are you inviting the children of all other cousin relationships?

PaperdollCartoon Mon 12-Feb-18 08:02:18

Two years isn’t new. If you’re inviting all other cousins with families you should include her and her kids as well.

bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 08:06:32

I suppose I meant new-ish, compared to other cousin who has step-kids but they've been together for the best part of ten years. Yes I'm inviting the other kids. I suppose I'm mostly hesitating as I've never seen my cousin with the kids and don't know if he fills a step-fatherly role with them or not. Not even sure if that's relevant now i come to think of it.

bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 08:07:05

I'm definitely incuding her - The question is about her children.

bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 08:07:40

Oh and they'd have to travel, about 5 hours in the car.

kaytee87 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:08:13

I'd call your cousin and just ask him.

peachypetite Mon 12-Feb-18 08:08:29


ShatnersWig Mon 12-Feb-18 08:08:37

If they live together, and you're inviting other cousin's "step-kids" then I think you should invite them. If they don't live together, then I wouldn't.

greendale17 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:08:55

I wouldn’t. You haven’t even met them and you don’t know what relatuinship they have with your cousin

PatheticNamechange Mon 12-Feb-18 08:09:35

Invite them all. What a lovely opportunity to meet the important people in your cousins life.

LML83 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:10:14

I would invite them. Your cousin and girlfriend and kids can decide if they want to come. Nice to include them though.

Springtrolls Mon 12-Feb-18 08:14:01

If the kids aren’t invited you risk the adults not coming. Cannot exactly leave them home alone for the night.
Invite them and it’s up to them if they decide to arrange childcare or bring them

norfolkenclue Mon 12-Feb-18 08:21:36

Depends on the age of these 'pre-teens' I guess... and whether or not you are including children generally, and if your cousin is living with his 'new' girlfriend(!). If they are only JUST 'pre-teens' (say 12 or so) then they might not be that into weddings and prefer to stay home with friends (especially if they are boys in my experience). Girls may feel differently though...some quite like a wedding, others not so much at that age. Just ask your cousin! I must say I find your idea of a 'new' relationship very odd! Many couples have met, married and had their first child in this timeframe! 2 years is a very well-established relationship and should be treated as such 🙄

alotalotalot Mon 12-Feb-18 08:24:26

If he lives with the kids then yes. If they are just dating then you don't have to, although money permitting and if you like your cousin then you may want to ask him.

londonrach Mon 12-Feb-18 08:28:25

If lives with the kids yes you do. If not no you dont but you do invite the girlfriend. I didnt go down to cousins for my weddingstopping at aunt and uncles due to size. No one was upset as honest open and equal to both sides and mum had breast cancer so needed it small. As long as you fair to everyone no problem.

bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 08:30:11

Thanks everyone. Patheticnamechange, what a lovely way to look at it.

I will ask him and see what he says. Thank you!

TheDailyMailLovesTheEUReally Mon 12-Feb-18 08:33:35

Do they live together? If they do then just send the invite and include the kids. If they don't, then have a word with your cousin and ask what they'd like to do for the best.

bobgeldof Mon 12-Feb-18 08:36:14

I must say I find your idea of a 'new' relationship very odd! Many couples have met, married and had their first child in this timeframe!

I don't doubt you, but it would be quite a rush surely? She'd have to be pregnant only 15 months after meeting her future husband and it'd be difficult to find time to sort out the wedding grin

CrabappleBiscuit Mon 12-Feb-18 08:36:37

Talk to him, but I don’t think you have to invite them. My stepchildren probably wouldn’t have come to e.g if my sister got married or a niece.

They’ve met my family so infrequently....we live all very far from each other.

grafittiartist Mon 12-Feb-18 08:37:32

Weddings are for families to spend time with each other. If you have the room to invite them, I would.

lalalalyra Mon 12-Feb-18 08:39:42

I think if you invite your other cousin's step-kids then you need to invite this ones. If they don't want to come then they'll not bring them. Especially given they live 5 hours away so it's not like you see your cousin ever day, but haven't met the kids.

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