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Second wedding bridesmaids issue!

(21 Posts)
Goodgonegirl Sun 11-Feb-18 23:07:35

My fiancé and I are planning to get married next year. Second wedding for me, first for him. I would like a small wedding, immediate family only. He would like a few more guests. Fine, the dilema is bridesmaids.

I have a 19 year old daughter. I would like her to walk me down the isle. No other bridesmaids. But then he said his daughter should be included (14 year old), which I understand. Then if we were having two bridesmaids my neice (4 years old) also would expect to be included. So that means three bridesmaids in a very small wedding! 25 guests only, is this too much? How can I include everyone? Or not, without anyone being offended?

RavenLG Sun 11-Feb-18 23:10:20

Why would your niece expect to be included because your soon to be dsd is? Can she be a flower girl rather than a bridesmaids?

Gazelda Sun 11-Feb-18 23:11:59

Couldn't his daughter do a reading instead of being a bridesmaid? And both girls be your witnesses?

I presume you're not calling your dd a bridesmaid, but referring to her as walking you down the aisle.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 11-Feb-18 23:12:08

Asking the same question. Why niece included?

PaperdollCartoon Sun 11-Feb-18 23:13:26

I don’t understand why niece would automatically need to be included. I also don’t think three bridesmaids is too many for a small wedding either.

ObiJuanKenobi Sun 11-Feb-18 23:13:48

Make niece a flower girl and have the two older girls as bridesmaids

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:42

But your daughter isn't a bridesmaid, she's walking you down the aisle.
Still no reason for including a 4 year niece

Aquamarine1029 Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:46

Do something unconventional. Have his daughter walk him down the aisle, and your daughter walks you to join him. Then his daughter can stand beside him where a best man would normally stand, and your daughter takes the position the maid of honour would. I think it's a great solution.

RB68 Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:49

I think its fine. 4 yr old just needs pretty dress and a basket, hopefully she has some cute shoes she can get away with at that age - not just school shoes!

Italiangreyhound Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:53

Three doesn't seem too many. I'd just go with it, to be honest if the girls want to do it, unless you strongly do not wish to have three, in which case no niece.

But at 4 she will basically be in a few photos in a nice outfit, nothing much more.

Goodgonegirl Sun 11-Feb-18 23:16:55

Hmm..reading would be good, didn’t think of that. My daughter wouldn’t really be bridesmaid but walk me down the isle. Neice is only 4 years old and would love to be part of the wedding, just didn’t want dsd to feel left out.

Goodgonegirl Sun 11-Feb-18 23:19:08

Ooh, aqua, hadn’t thought of that, it is a great idea, thank you!

ObiJuanKenobi Sun 11-Feb-18 23:19:15

Is your partner having any Paige boys / groomsmen / ushers?

SnackMaBitchUp Sun 11-Feb-18 23:19:36

I honestly don't see the issue of 3 BM in a small wedding confused

ObiJuanKenobi Sun 11-Feb-18 23:19:54

LOVE @Aquamarine1029 idea!!! thanks

Nanny0gg Sun 11-Feb-18 23:20:18

DSD as 'best daughter' instead of best man?

Or have her as bridesmaid, niece as flower girl both in just pretty dresses. And your DD walks you down the aisle.

That would be fine.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 11-Feb-18 23:20:20

Aquamarine1029 that’s lovely

Italiangreyhound Sun 11-Feb-18 23:21:59

Like Aquamarine1029's answer.

ladymariner Sun 11-Feb-18 23:22:10

Yes another vote here for Aquamarine's idea, that's inspired!

iheartmichellemallon Sun 11-Feb-18 23:22:47

Love Aqua's idea as I agree with your DH2b that it's nice for his DD to be included if yours is, but can see why you don't want bridesmaids!

HolyShet Sun 11-Feb-18 23:25:51

Stepdaughter should be "best woman"
job's a good un

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