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To ask if you actually enjoy family meal times?

(104 Posts)
LittleLionMansMummy Sun 11-Feb-18 18:17:22

Every bloody Sunday it's the same.

7yo ds slouches, picks and can't wait to leave the table (whatever is cooked), dh nags him about slouching, picking and not sitting still, 14mo dd whinges or cries or screams her way through or slings her cutlery around.

It's all got too much this evening with them all niggling at each other constantly. I've thrown my toys out the pram just now and told them I'm not doing it any more (by which I mean sitting down to eat as a family, not cooking). It's so stressful. I'm sure other families manage it, but I hate family meal times and can't be bothered any more.

megletthesecond Sun 11-Feb-18 18:20:35

Nope. Not at home.

LP and 2 huffy dc's. They're a nightmare to eat with at home at the table so we just don't do it much anymore. I've accepted that family tv dinners watching Attenborough/ grand designs is better for my sanity.

LittleLionMansMummy Sun 11-Feb-18 18:21:46

And I've come upstairs to try and get 5 mins to myself and now they've all fucking followed me up here and keep popping in!!

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime Sun 11-Feb-18 18:22:55

YANBU

My shameful secret (because good families eat together, don't they) is that I don't like the huge stress fest that is dinner with the 6 and 3 year old so we eat when they're in bed.

AmberTopaz Sun 11-Feb-18 18:23:46

Now I do (usually). It took a while to get to this point though! DCs are 8, 10 and 12.

Amrapaali Sun 11-Feb-18 18:25:26

It's all so fraught isn't it? Good on paper: everyone sharing stories, going around the table. In reality, it's DH being stroppy because DD is getting up from the table constantly/ she didn't understand What he was asking/ she is in cloud cuckoo land etc...

DD wants to be on the phone and I end up being peace maker and get stressed. Just. Not. Worth. It

YTho Sun 11-Feb-18 18:25:45

Sometimes I enjoy them and sometimes I just give up and let dh and ds whinge at each other while I watch TV. If it's just me and ds I don't even bother, it's so tedious to spend whole dinner time nagging at someone to eat their veg.

Lifeisabeach09 Sun 11-Feb-18 18:27:05

Don't keep putting yourself through it. Waste of energy forcing a family meal every Sunday.
Feed kids first then yourselves. Will be more pleasant. As kids get older, sitting as a family to dinner will be a lot easier.

Julie8008 Sun 11-Feb-18 18:28:02

Its a great time to catch up on TV, I love them

BigSandyBalls2015 Sun 11-Feb-18 18:30:27

Better now they're mid teens but it was stressful when they were younger and ate like savages.

JazzHandsJack Sun 11-Feb-18 18:34:51

YANBU!! Love eating out as a family, but rarely eat at our table these days. Especially sundays; so much pressure on for a roast that’s eaten in 10 minutes. Just about to sit down to toad in the hole on the sofa while we watch The Voice from last night.

Cleanermaidcook Sun 11-Feb-18 18:36:01

I do now more as they're getting older (8 + 9)
We don't all eat together every night though as during the week they have clubs or dh is at work so when we do (about 2/3 times a week) it's a nice catch up.

Notso Sun 11-Feb-18 18:38:31

Mostly I do now. I didn't as much when we had two year olds. DH can be a bit of a pain as he eats quickly in silence then gets arsey waiting for the rest of us who are a bit more civilised.
I have banned any talk of the food that isn't either complimentary or asking someone to pass something which helps.

Feed kids first then yourselves no way am I faffing around with a roast only to let the kids get it good and fresh while I get it miserably microwaved!

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 11-Feb-18 18:38:35

Love them! The family is DH, DSC and me, so it’s once in the week and every weekend, not every day. It didn’t happen overnight but we have a lovely rhythm now. We usually eat together and have meals and variations on them that we all like. We light candles, chat about our days, make plans. They’ve gone from eating one vegetable each to handfuls between them and its been a process over the years that’s going well.

They like the ritual of getting stuff ready and laid out, clearing up is a work in progress! They’re both getting into cooking and have more ownership of meals if they came up with ideas or tweaks and/or helped make bits of them.

Workerbe Sun 11-Feb-18 18:39:43

Nope.... not just you....

7 yr old eats like someone will take his food away from him. Usually with his hands and not cutlery. Lots of food strewn on table around his plate.. Due to speed eating, he finishes before anyone else. Cue to get up and wander around...

3 year old picks whilst declaring it is yuck. Says he has had enough after 2.5 mouthfuls. Also will wander off and switch TV back on 😡

If served beige food, both will eat whilst fighting over and snatching the ketchup. Cue drinks being knocked over.

I sit in the corner, shout a lot and drink wine to numb the pain of it all.

If we eat out, we only go to Pizza Hut or harvester. (Both have salad bars/bread rolls so instant food) I refuse to go anywhere else until they have left home.

UnimaginativeUsername Sun 11-Feb-18 18:44:24

Not hugely. Mostly because (ex, but still living in the same house) P puts everyone on edge. He doesn’t talk to DS1 and barely talks to me. The only conversation that isn’t uncomfortable centres around DS2. P also complains about DS2’s table manners throughout: he’s not sitting straight, he hasn’t cut his food small enough, he’s getting crumbs on the table/floor, and so on.

Once the house is sold and it’s just me and the boys in my own house, then family dinners will be lovely. They’re much more relaxing and fun when P isn’t here.

fleaflyflo Sun 11-Feb-18 18:45:35

Nope hate it, hence Sunday evenings are the only time we eat as a family.

It's like a bloody monkeys tea party angry

BarbarianMum Sun 11-Feb-18 19:09:15

Yes I do. But there were quite a few years of winging toddlers, "Mummy, I don't liiiiikkkkkkeee it", nagging about table manners and tears to get to this point. Glad we did it though.

dinodiva Sun 11-Feb-18 19:23:56

Sometimes, it really depends on how accommodating DD (2.5) is being. She takes so bloody long at the moment and wants to fiddle with everything in range, and at 6 months pregnant I have no tolerance for it. We try and do Sunday dinner together and weekend breakfasts and that’s enough for the moment!

BikeRunSki Sun 11-Feb-18 19:26:22

No, I hate them.
DS (9) eats incredibly slowly, will only ever use one piece of cutlery at a time (he is perfectly capable) , never pulls his chair up to the tables. He’s fussy, but at least he is consistent in what he doesn’t like, wants to rush off as soon as he has finished if he does finish before everyone else, and usually needs a poo about 5 mins after we have sat down.

DD (6) eats v small amounts of the blandest food possible, but fills up on plain rice given half the chance. Not interested in trying anything new, and randomly dislikes foods she has eaten happily in the near past.

But - we are not alone , have you seen This thread

Downtheroadfirstonleft Sun 11-Feb-18 19:28:22

I love it.

upsideup Sun 11-Feb-18 19:31:35

I actually love meal times but its taken a few years to get to that point. For the last few months we have been eating out once or twice a week and I feel that has really helped my DC's table manners and made the less fussy often, they know they have to stay at the table, use their cutlery without us telling them when we are in public and its sort of just became habit at home.
It also helps that DH is an amazing cook (and does all the cooking)

gillybeanz Sun 11-Feb-18 19:32:52

Mine aren't at home now, but sunday dinners were the best mealtime all week.
Everybody made the effort, and it was a great family time to get together.
There was never a question of not staying at the table though, we didn't allow it from them being little.
Friends used to say we were too strict, but mealtimes as a family were important to us and how I was brought up. Dh missed out on this and wanted it for his family.
you are laying the foundations now though, your toddler won't always be slinging cutlery and your ds won't always be slouching if you tell him to sit up.
I miss our family mealtimes now, it's much better when they are older and you have great conversations thanks

checkingforballoons Sun 11-Feb-18 19:34:05

I do. Possibly because we only have one DC, who eats brilliantly. I haven't slept in four years, but he eats brilliantly 😜

maddiemookins16mum Sun 11-Feb-18 19:34:36

I love it. It's about compromise/firm ness How did families with kids eat together for 20 mins max during the war for gods sake.

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