DP so laid back he's horizontal- AIBU to feel frustrated(11 Posts)
My DH is lovely in most ways but he's so bloody laid back it drives me bonkers.
We're near completion on our house move, sending signed contracts through the post Monday and we've been talking about packing for weeks but it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to do anything.
We have two DC, one 3 year old, one 4 month old so as you can imagine we don't have lots of time to pack during the week. This weekend we had set aside to pack as we had no plans and he's always really gung ho and underestimates how long it will take to do anything. He kept saying he could do the loft and bedroom in a day but I knew that he hadn't factored in life- i.e. Having two kids who need a lot of attention.
So it's Sunday afternoon and we've hardly done the wardrobe in our bedroom (and that's only because I kept nagging and physically holding things up asking if he wanted to pack it or give to charity.)
He doesn't understand why I'm in such a rush, but we could be moving in as little as two weeks and although our house is a two up two down I know the reality of packing with two children is going to double the time it takes.
Last time we moved we ended up literally staying up all night long to finish (DD1 was just under a year at the time and I was back at work, she was at in laws) and it was bloody stressful. This time I want to be prepared.
So AIBU to want to get a head start on packing and be frustrated with laid back DH?
No. Packing always takes twice as long as you imagine. I'm v laid back myself but with you 100% on this one!
Just get movers with a packing service, if he's so laid back he won't mind paying extra for that 😁
I'm totally and completely on your side but I have to say, do yourself a favour and let the removal company pack for you. After always doing it ourselves for previous moves we finally used the packing and removal service on our final move a few months ago and it was utter bliss. Heaven! 2 young DC here too so I don't think we would have managed. Not without a hell of a lot of stress anyway. Worth every penny.
Ask your removals company for a quote to include packing. Honestly, best money ever spent. Probably won't be as expensive as you think, our was an extra £200. In the grand scheme of things in a house purchase, it's small change.
They will come the day before and pack anything that doesn't move. We had to empty the loft as they weren't insured to go up there but once we brought all the stuff down, they packed it.
They prefer doing it as all boxes will be same standard size, they label them all clearly, they do it well so things less likely to be broken.
YANBU. We started packing weeks in advance and still had ton to do last minute, it was bloody stressful. I'd put my foot down.
MrTrebus I wish we could afford it!
He's generally very laid back about everything which is many ways is what I love about him- we suit each other. But I do often feel like he doesn't do enough. If I have a shower for example I'll give the bath a clean, and wipe the sink etc while DD is having a wee. JUst try and use time effectively. He complains I can't ever relax as if we're watching tv in the evenings I'll want to fold washing etc. He's VERY happy to relax on the sofa, and I feel in a way by me being so fidgety he feels he can be extra laid back?! I don't know...
I just can't relax knowing I'm surrounded by mess (my nan was a hoarder and my mum has tendencies so I grew up being quite independent in terms of cleaning/laundry) whereas his parents (well mum actually) does everything for him and us when we visit- it's lovely at first but then quite suffocating!
The packing service sounds amazingly and cheaper than I thought! But we've already ordered a load of boxes off amazon and if he used his 'leisure' time more effectively we could do it. It's just so frustrating! I use my spare time in between feeding both DC's/rocking baby to sleep etc by doing the essential stuff like showering, cleaning house etc and feel resentful he has the time to lounge around (he trims his beard all the bloody time and then I look down at my toenails which are like claws!)
I shouldn't be such a martyr I guess- I get that from my mum but feel I have to compensate for the lost time- our house is still a mess constantly!
I had one of those. He's an ex now. It got too much for me.
Decide who is doing which rooms or which bits. Do your bits and leave his to him. At crunch time walk away and spend the last 2 days of packing somewhere else with the kids. I cannot think of a better solution I'm afraid.
He's not ex military is he? My folks literally can pack a house in like two days, and there were three of us 😵 But my mum admits it comes from years of experience & not trusting the packers not to damage stuff!
Allocate him rooms & tell him if they aren't packed ready he will have to cough up for the packers to do it for him
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