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Ex didn't return kids.

(191 Posts)
AngryMom1 Sun 11-Feb-18 16:48:32

So kids where due back to me at 3, when they did not come by 3:30 I rang my ex to find at what he was playing at and he told me he tought as I changed pickup arragements on friday that from now own I would be driving the 2hrs to pick them up.

I am furioius, what can I do to make him bring them back.

lalalalyra Sun 11-Feb-18 16:50:00

What arrangements changed on Friday?

Do you have a court agreement or is just a private arrangement? If it's court ordered is there anything in it about pick up and drop off?

DullAndOld Sun 11-Feb-18 16:50:09

what a shit.
Can you get there at all?
Could someone help you get there?

DorisDangleberry Sun 11-Feb-18 16:51:49

What did you change on Friday?

UpstartCrow Sun 11-Feb-18 16:53:21

Phone the police non emergency number.

gobbynorthernbird Sun 11-Feb-18 16:53:40

Unless it's court ordered that he returns them, you may have to go collect them.

What happened on Friday?

gobbynorthernbird Sun 11-Feb-18 16:54:38

Phone the police, Upstart? Do you have knowledge that the children are at risk?

AngryMom1 Sun 11-Feb-18 16:54:52

It used to be that would meet half way and do the exchange. Court order was from when we where in the same town so only says to he has the kids from friday at 2 till sunday at 3.

lalalalyra Sun 11-Feb-18 16:54:58

Phone the police non emergency number.

Unless there's court ordered return or the kids are in some sort of danger the police won't get involved.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 11-Feb-18 16:55:04

I’m not sure you can make him (no idea what the police are meant to do).

I know it’s a shit but are you able to do the journey? I’m assuming he picked them up?

Could you ask him to meet you half way?

Skittlesss Sun 11-Feb-18 16:55:15

The Police can't do anything - he's committed no criminal offence. Assuming he is their biological father/on birth cert.

lovetheway Sun 11-Feb-18 16:55:54

DONT phone the police. If he has parental responsibility and the children are safe, there is nothing they can do.
If you are worried about their welfare, they could do a safe and well check. But they will not remove the children unless they are at risk of harm.

lalalalyra Sun 11-Feb-18 16:56:45

It used to be that would meet half way and do the exchange. Court order was from when we where in the same town so only says to he has the kids from friday at 2 till sunday at 3.

So, what changed? Did he come and collect them rather than half way?

If there's nothing in the court order about who is to return them then your choices are likely to be - go and fetch them, appeal to his better nature or go to court (not sure how urgently they'd see you) and get it ordered that he brings them back.

DullAndOld Sun 11-Feb-18 16:56:56

agree do NOT phone the police there will be very little they can do.

Yukbuck Sun 11-Feb-18 16:58:33

What did you change on Friday?

Lostin3dspace Sun 11-Feb-18 16:58:55

Ok, well go and get them, because presumably they have school tomorrow, then don't release them again until you have agreed what happens in future.

AngryMom1 Sun 11-Feb-18 16:59:10

I told him last week I couldn't to half way point anymore he was pissy but came all the way to pick them up, he has said he will bring to the half point now but I must agree to keep doing it on friday from now on too.

ChaChaChaCh4nges Sun 11-Feb-18 16:59:22

So you usually meet half way for both him collecting them and him returning them? But last Friday he had to drive all the way to yours? Did you agree that between you, or did you just decide? I can see that if you effectively doubled his drive on Friday then he might reasonably ask you to do all the drive today - although he’s a shit for not raising it before now.

Is it a permanent change, or a one off?

ChaChaChaCh4nges Sun 11-Feb-18 17:00:10

Cross post - well, he’s got a point, hasn’t he?

Who moved away?

gamerchick Sun 11-Feb-18 17:00:44

You’ll have to go and get them,

Then go back to court for a more detailed contact order.

MadMags Sun 11-Feb-18 17:00:55

Why did you stop meeting halfway?

How much notice did you give?

Who moved further away?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Sun 11-Feb-18 17:02:19

confused it sounds like you're the one in the wrong then. The agreement has been 50/50 transport, you changed it so he did all the driving for pick up, so surely it's fair for you to collect them? Either that or you go back to the old agreement.

Unless there's a reason why the agreement should change (and you've actually discussed it and agreed with him) I don't see why hes unreasonable not to assume full responsibility for all the transport

lalalalyra Sun 11-Feb-18 17:02:30

I told him last week I couldn't to half way point anymore he was pissy but came all the way to pick them up, he has said he will bring to the half point now but I must agree to keep doing it on friday from now on too.

Who moved the 2 hours away - him or you?

DriggleDraggle Sun 11-Feb-18 17:02:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DullAndOld Sun 11-Feb-18 17:02:31

well if you have a car and you have enough petrol I suggest you go and get them confused
I know sometimes these things grate but as single parents we just have to suck it up...
(remembers paying over 60 quid for wait and return mini cab so ex could have the kids at Xmas, the neglectful shit)

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