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To expect an honest reply when asking about porn use

(3 Posts)
yetmorecrap Sun 11-Feb-18 16:19:27

I know for a fact I am being lied to . I asked in a casual conversation when watching something 'do you watch it much' and was told 'very occasionally when away from home but not really that interested' . The fact is I know for certain it's 4 or 5 times a week at home when I am out and sometimes in middle of day too. I haven't got spyware or anything but I think he is totally unaware I've always kept software on my spare laptop to watch router stuff from when son was a bit younger and got into a bullying situation . So whilst he is busy hiding and deleting and private browsing, make no bloody difference. Thing is I am not an ogre, pretty mild mannered and would be OK with occasional use and a bit of honesty even though I'm not massively int it myself, , I am not ok though with this often, the minute I go out the door and lying to my face. It's not the first time he has been secretive about something he thinks I might not like. Is he the norm or are any guys upfront and honest about it?? I do realise it sounds controlling to say I'm not ok about the quantity. It's always girl on girl stuff too and to be honest it's making me feel totally turned off!! So far I've said nothing, because I wanted to see if it was 'a phase' . Nuts I know!!

DriggleDraggle Sun 11-Feb-18 16:22:28

im not really sure you can complain about honesty when you are spying on him.

why not have a cards on the table conversation?

tell him you monitor his internet use.

i hate porn fwiw but im not sure it is good to be logging his internet use.

DeathStare Sun 11-Feb-18 16:36:34

I think it's probably the kind of things most people give an inaccurate answer to - like how much they drink or how often they exercise or how often they get their 5 a day.

If his porn use is bothering you then you need to talk to him honestly about it. At the moment you are probably being more dishonest than he is. He acknowledges he uses it but is just downplaying the frequency. You haven't told him that you are monitoring what he looks at online or that you are bothered by his porn use.

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