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Who's unreasonable?

(31 Posts)
NameChangedAndForgotOldName Sun 11-Feb-18 14:24:56

If you had a deal with someone that you would give them a life somewhere you were going on 1 day then they would give you a lift somewhere else you were both going on another day.
Then ,on the day, you cancelled giving them a lift to the first place because you were going somewhere (Asda) before you went..

Would you show up at the persons house for your lift?

Are you unreasonable for assuming you were getting a lift or the other person for assuming u weren't ?

Thistlebelle Sun 11-Feb-18 14:28:14

Sorry but this is ridiculous question!

In this scenario surely you would call the person you rudely cancelled on with grovelling apologies for letting them down and ask whether they were still prepared to give you a lift.

It’s not complicated. Speak to each other.

(though why you both need lifts if you both have access to cars isn’t clear)

Parky04 Sun 11-Feb-18 14:28:21

Lost me!

Dancingfairy Sun 11-Feb-18 14:28:46

No I think it's cheeky to cancel and lift then expect to still get one.

Dancingfairy Sun 11-Feb-18 14:29:36

A lift not and lift.

NameChangedAndForgotOldName Sun 11-Feb-18 14:29:43

The person giving the 2nd lift only had access to their car today, not on the other occasion.

DeathStare Sun 11-Feb-18 14:29:47

This is incredibly hard to follow.

Could you not both just communicate with each other? ie. "I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to give you a lift today. Are you still OK to give me one tomorrow?" or
Person A: "I'm sorry I can't give you a lift today"
Person B: "Ah OK. Are you still wanting one tomorrow?"

You are both capable of communicating. If you both chose not to then it's equally both your faults.

Bluntness100 Sun 11-Feb-18 14:30:43

Well that's hard to understand.


You promise to take person a someplace. In return person b will take you somewhere.

You do not take person a to that place.

You now wish to turn up at person bs house and expect your lift

Did you apologise? Discuss if they would be able to give you a lift?

Dancingfairy Sun 11-Feb-18 14:34:05

It's really not hard to understand at all.

NameChangedAndForgotOldName Sun 11-Feb-18 14:35:52

I'm person A, I was invited to somewhere out of the way last week, DH needed the car for walk and my options were bus ride and long walk or £25 taxi.
I know someone that was also going and shares a car with her dh so I asked if she could give me a lift then and I would take her today.

The day of the event she messaged me that she needed to go shopping with dh before the event so I'd need to make my own way.

This morning she arrived at my house for her lift as arranged because her dh took the car.

NameChangedAndForgotOldName Sun 11-Feb-18 14:37:31

Shopping with dh and children so no room for me to go to Asda and wait there while they shopped either

NameChangedAndForgotOldName Sun 11-Feb-18 14:38:21

Work not walk. I'm making a hash of this 😒

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag Sun 11-Feb-18 14:38:49

Well, it was rude of her to cancel, but why would you assume she no longer expected a lift from you? You probably should have told her (like she did when she cancelled your lift with her)

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 11-Feb-18 14:40:17

Did you laugh at her, drive off leaving her there or did you just look at her and fume silently whilst giving her a lift?

I know it was the second option but I hope you also told her she was a cheeky bitch and owes you a free lift, at a moment of your choosing... forever!

cantthinkofanythingwitty Sun 11-Feb-18 14:42:04

Well if you hadn't told them that you were cancelling the lift then No I don't think they ABU turning up for their lift

fuzzywuzzy Sun 11-Feb-18 14:42:10

Charge her for petrol. But if you’re both going to the same place I’d give her a lift.

But I would make a point saying as the arrangement was cancelled by her you didn’t think she’d want a lift from you. But as she’s here she can pay for petrol and get the money off her first.

Depends on how good a friend she is, assuming not very if she cancelled on you for little reason at the last minute.

catchyjem Sun 11-Feb-18 14:45:10

Burning question is what did you do?!

Queuejumper Sun 11-Feb-18 14:46:20

In those circs I would see the two lifts as separate. I would still be expecting to give her a lift.

Bluntness100 Sun 11-Feb-18 14:49:09

So you want to not give her a lift as petty revenge for her not giving you one?

misskatamari Sun 11-Feb-18 14:52:51

It was rude of her to cancel at such short notice, but I don't think she was unreasonable to turn up for her lift from you if you hadn't told her not too. I would totally understand you being a bit pissed off with her, and I imagine not feeling all that charitable and wanting to give the lift, but unless that had been communicated to her she would be reasonable to still expect the lift.

HunterHearstHelmsley Sun 11-Feb-18 14:53:18

Being as it's a reciprocal arrangement and she cancelled the first part I can see you weren't expecting her. But I can also see why she was still expecting a lift!

CherryMaDeary Sun 11-Feb-18 14:58:24

Well what did you do?!

Thequeenisdeadboys Sun 11-Feb-18 14:58:36


mikeyssister Sun 11-Feb-18 15:02:04

I wouldn't have expected her to turn up today, but probably wouldn't say anything - verbally! Definitely wouldn't arrange lifts with her again though.

gamerchick Sun 11-Feb-18 15:02:21

So she cancelled on you but you didn’t tell her that you weren’t taking her in return but assumed she would work that out for herself and she didn’t?

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