to ask if your 6 year old is like mine?

[namechange4444]

I've name change for this as alongside other posts I've made this could be outing.

I am increasingly getting worried about my 6 year old DS, the things that I always put down as his "funny things" he does don't seem much like his friends and classmates and I worry something more is going on.

He doesn't really play with toys, he is obsessive about a particular item at a time whether it is one Xmas present, or a recent happy meal toy etc. that will be his favourite for a few weeks then it moves on but he never plays imaginative games. His main form of play is wrestling, play fighting and physical play in the garden at the park, he doesn't seem to be able to sit still to play or craft or do homework. He hates loud noises, like school discos, loud play centres etc. so I deliberatly take him to quieter ones to avoid this. He will obsessively play a game and if he goes wrong gets very angry with himself, he sometimes slaps his own face .

I have a younger DC who he will sometimes play with but largely he wants to wrestle and despite it starting gentle and playful I always have to break it up. School have no concerns with him and just say he is one of the quieter ones but I worry he holds it in at school as he comes out grumpy and angry most days and is very snappy with me.

An incident happened the other day where we went to a soft play, they suddenly played a very loud "happy birthday" song and he ran to me and cried because it scared him so much.

I'm just really anxious about having our lives torn to shreds through any assesment, me and the DCs father are seperated and I am sure this will be painted as a contributing factor that he is just playing up but really looking back he has been like this for a really long time but only recently has it seemed to start disrupting his happiness.

Please help, is this normal 6yo behaviour??

[IShouldGoToBed]

Sounds like he has sensory difficulties. Might be worth an assessment for a sensory issue. These can be linked with asc. However, he might just be being a 6 yr old!!!!

[Rewn7]

DD hates loud noises at that age. Public toilets were a minefiekd due to hand dryers!

She also never really played imagination game (as in dolls taking to each other). I did as a child but when I spoke to friends about it at least 50% said their kids didn’t do that either.

However, she’s 11 now and has no issues at all apart from being a moody preteen so she just outgrew those behaviours.

[redexpat]

My 6yo has asd. There is some overlap with what youre describing.

[NormHonal]

It sounds like sensory issues or ASD. Very similar to my DC1.

Please do see a GP as a first step.

[namechange4444]

I have two nephews with ASD and there are a lot of things evident in them that I don't see in DS which has been one of the main reasons I've put off investigating further but I guess there isn't a "typical" ASD child so it is possible.

I just get so scared because I've heard so many horror stories through diagnosis processes and just worry I will be blamed as the struggling single parent as I feel its more evident since I have been alone with the two of them but I think that is where its been harder for me to manage juggling them both IYKWIM.

[ObscuredbyFog]

Ask for a Sensory OT assessment and take it from there.
It's common for school to notice nothing if a child is within academic achievement parameters and their behaviour is okay.

I'm just really anxious about having our lives torn to shreds through any assesment
I just get so scared because I've heard so many horror stories through diagnosis processes and just worry I will be blamed as the struggling single parent

It's not about you, it's about finding the right support for your son. go for it

[Skittlesandbeer]

Hey, knowledge really is power.

The energy you’re already putting into worrying about what he might or might not have, or how ‘normal’ he might be, the guilt of putting it off... wouldn’t you rather have a clear answer and a clear plan forward?

I can’t help think that the peace of mind that comes with being on the right track is better than what’s happening now.

And likelihood is, you’d be put in touch (or find yourself) loads of helpful people and resorces to assist you. Don’t worry about other people’s experiences or diagnoses, this is your journey with your DS and your little team. You sound strong and caring, so you just need to be a bit brave and start the ball rolling on assessment? You don’t want to be looking back years from now and wishing you had. Once you’re on the path, you’ll probably wonder what took you so long.

All the best. He sounds lovely, by the way.

[namechange4444]

I think he goes under the radar at school, he loves Maths & English so he academically does well, and being one of the more physical boys he has lots of friends but I think he holds so much in at school and comes home over-emotional.

On the physical side he seems to struggle with things like riding his bike, swimming, holding his pencils etc. and if he can't do something right then he will have emotional breakdowns about it and not want to try again (hence the swimming, we gave up lessons after each one had screaming and tears and I couldn't keep putting him through that).

What is the process generally? Will the GP be able to run any kind of tests or will he/she refer him onto somewhere else?

[stressbucket1]

Sorry to hijack but I have concerns about my DD similar age. School say she is ok to wait for a bit to see how she gets on. (Generally ok at school). Is the consensus that GP is the way forward and school will not chase anything up unless they are showing big problems at School?

[ObscuredbyFog]

Will the GP be able to run any kind of tests

No, they refer on, so take as much "evidence" as you can of his behaviour that's not typical for kids his age

@Stressbucket Yes, that's it.

I'd advise you both to read SNChat and SNChildren on this site for loads of info and advice.

[stressbucket1]

Thank you x