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To ask for your best puns?

(27 Posts)
buddhasbelly Sat 10-Feb-18 21:39:04

I'll start.

I should've bought new camping gear in the Christmas sales. It would've been a winter of discount tent.

faceremovinghairscream Sat 10-Feb-18 21:45:09

I'm just back from a once in a lifetime holiday, I tell you what, never again.

faceremovinghairscream Sat 10-Feb-18 21:46:34

Sorry not really a pun, just a crap one-liner! Oops

buddhasbelly Sat 10-Feb-18 21:48:43

It made me smile so it's allowed!

Sandsnake Sat 10-Feb-18 21:51:48

I went to Budapest for a weekend away and ended up falling in the river.
Danu-believe it?

I’ll get my coat...

SistersOfPercy Sat 10-Feb-18 22:21:15

Found a packet of fish fingers in the street the other day. Was going to hand them in but thought what the hell, findus keepers.

FannyHertz Sat 10-Feb-18 22:24:16

I was asked if I wanted to go on a llama trekking expedition in Peru. I thought, alpaca suitcase

ChinkChink Sat 10-Feb-18 22:26:32

Hear about the couple of fake doctors who set up in a Scottish town and ruined the health of the local people with their quack remedies?

'Two medic crooks spoiled Arbroath'

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks Sat 10-Feb-18 22:28:35

Not mine:

"DS, get to the back of the boat," he said sternly.

I so wish it was mine!

SistersOfPercy Sat 10-Feb-18 22:34:29

Read a book about ship building last night. Riveting.

MyKingdomForACaramel Sat 10-Feb-18 22:39:25

Not quite a pun, more of a one liner - I hid my horse behind a lump a cheese... it was mascarpone

mrsnolasco Sat 10-Feb-18 22:41:12

Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at my head in the supermarket today...
Fucking Hellman

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Feb-18 22:47:43

A man threw a block of cheese and a tub of butter at me the other day.

I thought bastard, how fucking dairy.

RhinestoneCowgirl Sat 10-Feb-18 22:50:14

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Because property is theft.

PaddingtonBearHardStare Sat 10-Feb-18 23:01:40

James Norton.

Out of 10?

I'd give him 1...

ChinkChink Sat 10-Feb-18 23:11:02

<< Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at my head in the supermarket today...
Fucking Hellman >>

mrsnorlasco wins the thread imho

grin

Slanetylor Sat 10-Feb-18 23:14:48

"Property is theft"!!!grin

LunchBoxPolice Sun 11-Feb-18 10:06:49

*A man threw a block of cheese and a tub of butter at me the other day.

I thought bastard, how fucking dairy*

That's not very mature

LunchBoxPolice Sun 11-Feb-18 10:07:31

Jokes about white sugar are rare...

Jokes about brown sugar?
Demarara

UrbaneSprawl Sun 11-Feb-18 10:11:54

My cousin runs a zoo, but the only animal he’s got is a stupid looking Chinese dog.

I think it’s a ShihTzu.

ParadiseCity Sun 11-Feb-18 10:14:47

I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.

Elendon Sun 11-Feb-18 10:17:40

All the pictures on my phone are foggy at the bottom. I have low selfie steam.

buddhasbelly Sun 11-Feb-18 10:18:16

I'm living these keep them coming!

I'll throw another one in...mine are all camping related as me and the guy I'm seeing started a pun off last night whilst chatting abiut well, camping obviously. if we can keep puns going about that this may be the real deal grin

Sex while camping? it's fucking in tents.

mrsnolasco Mon 12-Feb-18 13:37:12

I can't believe someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick, how low can you go?

JanuaryBirthdays Mon 12-Feb-18 13:40:49

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

Well, well, well, three holes in the ground.

Twice, so good they named it twice.

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