WIBU to leave him?(11 Posts)
My partner has mental health problems, mostly depression and addiction. He has been admitted to The Priory twice over the last year. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, but not to the same extent. However when I met him four years ago I was not on any medication.
Over the last year it has become increasingly difficult for me. He is moody and argumentative, easily irritated and tends to blame me for everything. I feel as though I’m walking on eggshells in my home. I dread coming home from work and look forward to him going to work. I don’t think I love him anymore.
The house we live in is rented from his parents which could cause some issues however I do get on very well with them and they are very supportive towards me.
In the last six months my GP has restarted medication and has added an extra one in. My own mental health is struggling and I am physically and emotionally exhausted. On a Monday I am already tired. I am not looking after myself and can feel myself slipping deeper into the hole which is depression.
I know I should end this relationship. But how? When I wanted to go to my parents (about 100 miles away) for Christmas he said he was going to kill himself as I would be abandoning him. What if I end binge and then he kills him self? How can I live with that? Should I talk to his parents first? Even though he is a grown man?! I just don’t know how to handle this and it’s a difficult thing to talk about.
Sorry for the long post. I just get that I needed to vent and hopefully get some advice
Emotional abuse, you definitely don't need to stand for it. Given his history and the fact that you're friendly with his parents you may wish to give them the heads up that you're going to call time on it, then do so. He can be their responsibility, you have a responsibility to yourself, I hope you feel better soon
His mental health and actions are not your responsibility. Speak to his parents by all means but whatever his reaction to you leaving is his own. Imagine you put in another few years with this person just out of fear of them harming themselves. I'd be resentful
I think giving his parents a heads up when you end it would be a good idea if it would set your mind at rest that someone would be looking out for him.
You sound like a kind person and you've done what you can for your partner. But you can't stay with him forever if it's making you this unhappy. Whatever happens after you break up is not your responsibility.
All the best, I hope this is the beginning of a better time for you
Give his parents the heads up and then just go
Email a brief explanation then block him from everything. It's the only way with this kind of thing
I've been there. Don't engage with him
You need to realise he is his own person. You have been supportive but you cannot be responsible for his mental health problems. You need to put yourself first. If you work get a sick line and head to yoir parents for a month. You need to recover your own mental health
You can’t stay with him out of pity. Don’t sacrifice your life while thinking about his.
End the relationship. Move out.
Tell his parents of his previous suicide threats..then block him from contacting you every which way. You need space.
So an update. Sorry for the delay, life has been extremely hectic!
I ended it with him on Monday. He has moved out and back with his parents and they have agreed that I can stay in the house.
He didn’t take it that well, said there was no point in living and he may as well start drinking again. I said to him that he could not put that on me as it was unfair and untrue.
I feel so much better that I did. Obviously very stressed and I have been upset but I think the feeling of relief tells me that it was definitely the right thing to do.
Thank you for your advice and support xx
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