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Pathetic rant but who ibu?

(343 Posts)
Melonjelly Sat 10-Feb-18 17:38:38

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

Quartz2208 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:40:40

Um I think you both communicate badly - if I popped to the loo I would expect my DH to continue on shopping (its very difficult to keep them in one place) but I would think I would find them quicker.

bonzo77 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:40:40

I think he did the right thing getting on with the shopping. But was a twat for not answering his phone.

Qvar Sat 10-Feb-18 17:40:49

You're both being ridiculous. One of you stay at home with the children and the other go shopping.

Melonjelly Sat 10-Feb-18 17:41:53

We both went so the kids could pick out there bedding so that's why we took them. And I agree re the communication thing, if he's have said he was going to carry on with shopping I would have waited in the car instead

SoupDragon Sat 10-Feb-18 17:43:23

You expected him to stand still with two children, one of whom was badly behaved?

I’m amazed you managed to walk to, and use, the toilets in under two minutes too.

Iloveanimals Sat 10-Feb-18 17:44:18

It happens doesn't it? But the main problem is the communication between you. Thought you'd have seen him if you went outside to the car and he was by the door.

Knittedfairies Sat 10-Feb-18 17:44:19

Either go shopping by yourself, send him by himself, or go to the loo before you start shopping.

SoupDragon Sat 10-Feb-18 17:44:25

But was a twat for not answering his phone.

His phone didn’t ring, it went straight to voicemail.

MissMary0fSweden Sat 10-Feb-18 17:44:51

If you're saying you expected him to stand still and wait in one place with two wriggly kids then I think ywbu sorry.

StoorieHoose Sat 10-Feb-18 17:45:39

My idea of hell is a family outing to a supermarket on a Saturday afternoon.

Basecamp21 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:45:45

If he had just carried on with the shopping - as he did last week - why couldn't you find him?
People nip off to the loo and find their other half all the time - I don't understand why you seem to find this a massive issue.

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Feb-18 17:45:52

So you won't put your child in the trolley because you're afraid of him 'kicking off', but you expect your DH to do it when you go to the loo?

Also, how did he manage to do all the shopping, pay for it, bag it up and get to the door in 'less than 2 minutes'?

Melonjelly Sat 10-Feb-18 17:46:07

He was still inside the store when I went outside to browse the car park. I wish I'd have brought my X-ray specs today.

And yes I can pee and wash my hands in under two mins. I thought this was normal but hey ho. Please don't critique my bathroom skills.

StoorieHoose Sat 10-Feb-18 17:46:29

Mobile phone signals are notoriously dodgy in supermarkets. I’m convinced they have blockers in the building to stop them working

WellThisIsShit Sat 10-Feb-18 17:47:53

I feel your pain.

It’s going to be one of those moments every time unless something changes so I suggest you ask him to agree a meeting point with you?

That means he can carry on shopping but then you can meet him before the check out so you can finish off before it’s a done deal and you spend ages trying to find him and getting steadily more upset.

metalmum15 Sat 10-Feb-18 17:48:37

Shop online in future, you can't lose him at home.

upsideup Sat 10-Feb-18 17:50:57

I think YABU, Sorry OP. No way would I expect DH to stand still in the veg isle with small children waiting for me to go to the toilet and I wouldnt wait for him either, we'd get on with the shopping.
He did the shopping, paid and waited at the door for you, I think your getting more worked up than you need to be. Next time why dont you just agree on ''I'll meet you at the tills/door/car''

ThisLittleKitty Sat 10-Feb-18 17:51:34

Lol your waaaay to angry over this. It's a total no issue. I wouldn't stand there waiting for you either. I would finish the shopping. Can you two not cope with shopping without the other one?

DeathStare Sat 10-Feb-18 17:52:08

If he was right where he had been last week, why wasn't that the first place you looked?

My kids go to the toilet in the supermarket and I don't even stay where I am for them. They need to come and find me.

bricksareheavy Sat 10-Feb-18 17:53:11

I guess he could have answered his phone, but not always that possible if you’re stuck with two lively children. I don’t get why you’re so upset that he managed to get on with grabbing the necessary bits?
You mentioned him being an “arsehole”... really?! confused wow.
If that had been my partner and I’d discovered he’d managed to do the shopping and pay etc I don’t think I’d blow such a fuse tbh. I feel your reaction is a tad overkill.

upsideup Sat 10-Feb-18 17:55:11

Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

So together the two of you were unable to but your DS in the trolley, But....

I said you'll have to put him in the trolley

You couldnt understand why your DH didnt just manage to do it when you left him alone?

ThisLittleKitty Sat 10-Feb-18 17:55:14

Surely most people would be happy that the shopping was finished?

BrutusMcDogface Sat 10-Feb-18 17:55:56

Yabu to expect him to stand there with two children who are being a handful. I would fully expect my dp to carry on with the shopping and would most probably go from veg aisle to the front of the store, and look at all the tills. Calm down!

Thistlebelle Sat 10-Feb-18 17:56:32

You regularly go to the loo halfway round the supermarket?

That would drive me up the wall if my DH did that.

Go before you leave the house or go as soon as you arrive.

I think you are unreasonable to expect the whole family to wait for you to go to the loo every time you shop.

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