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To think my toddler isn't "showing signs of autism"? (Possible triggering)

(170 Posts)
KleenexNeeded Sat 10-Feb-18 14:40:33

My DD is 2.8 and has a global developmental delay of 9-12 months, she's non verbal, has met all milestones including physical ones late. The paediatrician says she's showing signs of autism/ASD but I think he's wrong.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just concerned I might have missed something.

These are the reasons why I believe the Paeds is wrong:

1. She goes to Nursery and although still in the toddler room and not the rising 3 room (2.5-3 room is Rising 3s) she is empathetic. If her friend falls over she'll go over, give him/her a cuddle and pat them on the back. Similarly MILs dog hurt her paw last week and DD sat in the dog bed with her stroking her face.

2. We have no issues with food. She eats everything, and doesn't actively dislike anything. She has the usual toddler fussiness of eating broccoli one week and hating it the next, but she goes back to liking it within a few days/weeks and she moves onto disliking something else. She eats a good amount, and is maintaining her weight.

3. Although non-verbal her understanding is fantastic. If you ask her to go and get a cup from the cupboard she will go and get her cup.

4. She sleeps at night. She wakes up 2-3 times a night but my understanding is this is normal for a toddler due to nightmares/being too hot or cold/needing a nappy changed etc She settles quickly when I go into her and has whole weeks where she doesn't wake me in the night at all.

5. She forms attachments with other people. She will smile if you ask her about her grandparents, friends at Nursery, keyworker etc. She will also give them hugs, or go to them for comfort if I'm not around and she hurts herself.

6. We have no behaviour issues. Nursery say she's well behaved and a pleasure to be around, they've used their behaviour policy on her once or twice a term since she started and they said that's not a huge worry as every child needs it using occasionally. At home she tantrums like a normal toddler but these last 2-3 minutes at most they may last 10 minutes which isn't excessive. Health Visitor has watched her tantrum she happened to be here when DD tantrummed over something once and says they're no extreme or anything to be worried about.

7. She has obsession but not to the point that she's not bothered by anything else. She's like any 2 year old, loves Peppa Pig, will happily watch it but if you give her a toy to play she's happy with that. She also has her favourite cuddly toy with her all the time but Nursery say that's normal and he (the toy is a boy, she gets upset if you say it or she when referring to it) sits next to her on a chair/against the wall while she colours/paints/does whatever and then she'll give him a quick cuddle as they move between rooms/activities, similarly at home she's happy for him to sit nearby while she plays/colours.

8. She is starting to develop an imagination. I know this will have been delayed due to the GDD, but she will put her dolls on the back of her unicorns and they'll go for a ride. She cooks us meals on the play kitchen, if you put a doll in the bath with her she'll give the doll a wash.

So MN am I way off the mark here and DD is actually autistic and I'm too blind to see it? Or is the Paeds wrong?

I accept that the paeds wants a cause for the GDD but in this case I'm not sure there is one, I think it's just one of those things.

Dolphincrossing Sat 10-Feb-18 14:42:07

It could well be autism. I know people with autism to whom all the above could apply. Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear flowers

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Sat 10-Feb-18 14:43:52

What is it the paediatrician has picked out as indicative of autism?

ParadiseCity Sat 10-Feb-18 14:44:12

I'm not experienced to say, but what you have described sounds very much like an absolutely delightful wonderful little person. I know parenthood comes with a ton of problems but I hope you are getting a chance to 'enjoy her' too. My DC are older and I read your post with misty eyes!! (Sorry not at all helpful post).

soundsystem Sat 10-Feb-18 14:44:45

What are the signs of ASD that the paediatrition thinks she's showing?

I have ASD and all of what you've said would have applied to me as a child. Which obviously doesn't means she does, but I don't think it catergorically rules it out, either.

PerryPerryThePlatypus Sat 10-Feb-18 14:44:54

It's been widely refuted that ASD/ lack of empathy go hand in hand.
Girls can often present very differently to classic signs of ASD.

BakedBeans47 Sat 10-Feb-18 14:45:08

My son is much older and not got GDD and while we’re awaitinf diagnosis I am certain he’s autistic. He’s empathetic, sleeps well, forms attachments, has imagination etc. His behaviour was great when he was small but it’s getting worse. His issues are more sensory and in identifying and understanding social cues.

LunarGirl Sat 10-Feb-18 14:46:03

I know it's not what you want to hear but autism is a spectrum. Not every child will display the same traits. My DS has autism and has empathy, smiles and forms attachments.

It could be autism, it could be something else. Please don't worry though. Your DD sounds lovely.

MabelBee Sat 10-Feb-18 14:46:37

My autistic child is very sensitive, shows a lot of empathy, has friendships, strong family bonds, loves animals, sleeps beautifully, is very sweet and loving, has good eye contact.

I'm not sure if your child is or isn't autistic but autism is a vast spectrum.

Nikephorus Sat 10-Feb-18 14:47:02

I have ASD and all of what you've said would have applied to me as a child. Which obviously doesn't means she does, but I don't think it catergorically rules it out, either.

KeepingMySpreadsheetUpToDate Sat 10-Feb-18 14:47:30

Why did paed think autism? Nothing you have mentioned would concern me at this age

EleanorXx Sat 10-Feb-18 14:47:53

I was like her as a child and I have Aspergers (not diagnosed till I was an older teen). I’m not saying she is autistic but it’s a possibility.

Addy2 Sat 10-Feb-18 14:48:21

If you feel the label isn't helpful, you don't need to use it. Everyone is on the spectrum somewhere, after all. Fwiw she sounds fine from what you've said. Maybe ask what, apart from being non verbal, makes the good doc think that it's asd?

MsP0b Sat 10-Feb-18 14:49:07

She sounds like a wonderful little girl and you sound like a fantastic parent.

You are both already coping beautifully with GSD by the sound of it. As PPs have said, ASD is a spectrum and each person with it is unique.

If possible, don't worry about the label and just enjoy your gorgeous girl x

lljkk Sat 10-Feb-18 14:50:00

How has Ped said "signs"; as in "We can't rule it out" or "This is strongly indicative"?

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal Sat 10-Feb-18 14:50:18

It doesn't really matter what DD is diagnosed with, is it? It's far more important for her to receive the correct therapy to help her make the most of her potential. I know autism can be a scary diagnosis, but there's clearly more going on than "just one of those things" and TBH, you're doing your daughter a great disservice by dismissing it as such.

KleenexNeeded Sat 10-Feb-18 14:50:38

Paeds said she sensory issues but I don't see it, she dislikes wind, but then don't most children? She can cope with crowds and her Nursery is quite large (up to 40 children on busy days) and she copes well there too.

She gets dressed fine, might take a dislike to a particularly tshirt but like them again a few days later which I thought was normal for toddlers.

Barbie222 Sat 10-Feb-18 14:51:06

She sounds like a gorgeous little girl. There is likely to be a condition explaining the global delay. ASD is probably the most likely but there may well be other possibilities. Is she undergoing genetic tests or similar to check for another developmental disability?

Do you have an alternative diagnosis which makes sense to you and have you discussed this with the paediatrician? They are the experts after all.

Twofishfingers Sat 10-Feb-18 14:52:32

Ds was very similar but he often didn't turn when called, had some repetitive activities (lining up cars, stacking up stuff in order of size, etc ) and was later diagnosed with Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia and phisycal dyspraxia. Please read about it you may find that a lot of stuff matches what your daughter is going through especially not reaching physical milestones and speech delay. Is she seeing a speech therapist?

KleenexNeeded Sat 10-Feb-18 14:53:28

No alternative diagnosis, I honestly can't find an explanation. She had genetic testing but it all came back fine, I honestly think it's one of those things, I know it's fare with GDD but it can happen.

KleenexNeeded Sat 10-Feb-18 14:54:14

Yes seeing a SALT and also learning baby sign at Nursery

cestlavielife Sat 10-Feb-18 14:54:19

Autism is abput joint attention. If you sit and read a book with her and close your eyes when you say what is on the oage does she notice ?

The ADOS assessment us very goid and can give a score ASD or not. If ASD a diagnosis helps... it recognizes there will be spiky profile. If "just " g dd across the board it may be more straight with everything behind by same degree.
My d's asd has reading skills way beyond imaginative play.

Abra1de Sat 10-Feb-18 14:54:19

I’m empathetic and have friends, etc. I have some ASD <thing>. It was never picked up when I was a child. I had a rather bleak adolescence and developed an eating disorder.

I’m now married with children, have a very good degree and career. Most of my friends don’t know.

Diagnosis and help might have made the years 12-16 a little less painful.

Sirzy Sat 10-Feb-18 14:55:42

Nearly all of that would have applied to ds at 3. He is autistic and at 8 some of those things are now major issues others still aren’t an issue for him.

I presume the paediatrician has pretty good reason to be thinking it could be asd to be mentioning it at such a young age

BakedBeans47 Sat 10-Feb-18 14:56:07

Mine copes differently with noise in different environments. Restaurants etc he’s ok in but the playground is stressful and the classroom becoming so after years of being fine.

Ultimately though your lovely wee girl is who she is and denying that there is maybe an issue there that needs to be addressed won’t change anything. I hope that doesn’t come across as mean but I have spent years making excuses and minimising my son’s quirks as being like other kids or something he’d grow out of. Of course he hasn’t and the years of denial hasn’t got us any further forward and now he’s almost at the end of primary school and we’re just awaiting diagnosis. I know you’ve had other issues with the GDD but I really wish I’d felt able to be honest and face up to my son’s issues sooner - it wouldn’t have changed him but it might have made his life a bit easier now flowers

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