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DM inconsiderate

(4 Posts)
dkb15164 Sat 10-Feb-18 14:28:25

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and moving into new flat with partner. Birthday on Wednesday so mum said she'd come up with stepdad and his van to help move and to give a new lick of paint to the nursery followed by Chinese takeaway to celebrate 20th birthday. Shows up 2 hours late in her car (won't fit a mattress and new flat is 15 minutes away meaning multiple trips with rest of belongings costing a fortune in the gas which we had originally offered to pay for). As I was told today would be the day I have made plans for every weekend from now until 2 weeks before baby is due as I have university, internship and work. She also showed up with her friend, friend's righteous-church-going husband and their 10 month old colicky baby in tow because they are thinking about moving to our city (parents and them live hour and a half away) and they wanted to see the city and visit some friends queue them being taxied around all day. They don't talk much and have made rude comments about my tattoos in the past before and I do not want them there for my quiet birthday dinner. My mum has totally blindsided me and just changed to suit her plans, she is talking about coming through next week with van despite the fact I have specified I have 3 deadlines totalling 9000 words due in on the Tuesday but hey ho lets do what's convenient for her. I've told her I can't have her over for the next two months (it literally is that hectic, I start at 8 and finish at 6 most days; making dinner getting two hours alone with partner before crashing for a bad nights sleep with heartburn, leg cramps and bladder basketball by baby) and she is now acting as though I'm some hormonal pregnant lady for getting snappy at her over it. She says "we can move a few of your things in the car boot" but I don't want to have half my stuff at one flat and half the stuff in the other. The couple and baby she's brought along are also known for announcing a time at which they want to go home and to be catered to their needs e.g Christmas party they announced at 8:30pm they were tired and wanted to go home and lifts home had to be arranged for them despite the fact the party was still in full swing. First thing mum's friend said when she arrived this morning was that she was not a big fan of Chinese takeaway but that she will try to find something she likes on the menu. As if it is some sort of imposition on her and we should consider a different cuisine. DM keeps going on that when I have my baby she can play with their baby but honestly they can get stuffed, their babies a total PFB even I can see that. Am I being unreasonable to be upset or is it just horrormones??

Lostinspaceoutatsea Sat 10-Feb-18 15:19:58

You anbu! I would be pissed off too. Is there no else that can help you out?

outofmydepth45 Sat 10-Feb-18 15:24:33

Rent a man with a van ? Just ignore your mum and get on with what you need to.

ListenToTheWords Sat 10-Feb-18 16:06:15

I would be very unhappy with your mum's behaviour. If you can, rent a man with a van, as outofmydepth45 mentioned.

Who brings uninvited visitors with them when they are supposed to be helping you?

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