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Guests bringing dog AIBU

(131 Posts)
Thisimeagain Sat 10-Feb-18 11:50:11

So my inlaws live around 4 hours drive away and obviously can't just pop in for a cup of tea. When they come to visit us they always stay with us for at least a couple of days.
They have a large dog who is their baby. Every time they come to visit us they have to either get a friend to look after him or pay to kennel him. DMIL keeps on at us to let the dog come as well. AIBU to keep saying no? Obviously I know it's our house and we can say no if we like but I also don't want to be a bitch about it.
The problem is i really don't want him to come. He's massive, he stinks, he's badly behaved - not aggressive in any way but he climbs on the furniture, even the beds at their house and I think it's gross!
Until recently we had a cat and so that was my excuse but he sadly died a few months ago and so they're on at us about bringing him again. I don't want stinky dog or his hair in my house or his poo in my garden!

Fireinthegrate Sat 10-Feb-18 11:52:06

Your house, your rules.
If you don't want the dog at your house then just tell them 'no'

MeadowHay Sat 10-Feb-18 11:52:37

No YANBU. I mean personally what you describe wouldn't bother me for a few days, although I might insist on giving him a bath if he was really stinky/dirty. But I'm a dog lover and not super house-proud. I recognise that not everyone will feel like I do - my parents, for example, would never countenance allowing a dog to step foot in their house! And that's fine, it's not unreasonable. If you don't want it there, tell them that and tell them you won't be discussing it further as you won't be changing your mind. If you've got a pet you need to understand you will have to make suitable arrangements for its care if you want to go away somewhere, that's part of responsible pet ownership, it's not your problem they need to get a sitter or whatever. Don't worry about it.

bettydraper31 Sat 10-Feb-18 11:54:22

It’s your house, they are being unreasonable wanting to bring him with them if they know you’re not happy about it.

SpottyBrolly Sat 10-Feb-18 11:54:57

It's fine if you don't want him to come however, I'd expect that they wouldn't let him climb on your furniture and would pick up any poo.

Thisimeagain Sat 10-Feb-18 11:56:58

Yeah they would pick up the poo definitely but they'd only sort of half heartedly tell him to get off the furniture. They think it's sort of cute. I really don't.

Bejazzled Sat 10-Feb-18 11:58:12

My friend has one of these fashionable small pug dogs. It stinks, not unclean, just stinky dog smell. It also likes to leak/spray in corners to mark its territory. She thinks this is funny and adorable, I don't and unfortunately our friendship has been strained since I told her not to bring it to my house.

aaaaargghhhhelpme Sat 10-Feb-18 11:59:24

I'm a dog lover but I would hate that. Some owners have a very blinkered view of their 'babies'

what does your partner say?

mumgointhroughtorture Sat 10-Feb-18 12:00:47

Could you tell them he can come as long as they buy him a dog bed and you want proof he's been to a dog washer before he comes ? Then he's only allowed to lie on the bed not on your furniture and tell them if they break your rules you won't have him back again .

NoSquirrels Sat 10-Feb-18 12:01:02

What does your DH feel about it - is he on your side or does he think they should bring it? Easier to resist if he’s happier that it stay away.

Get a new kitten if you need a new excuse? grin

araiwa Sat 10-Feb-18 12:01:09


and repeat every time

specialsubject Sat 10-Feb-18 12:01:25


Dog ownership comes with restrictions, nuisance, costs and 15 years of picking up foul smelling excreta. All totally voluntary. Not your problem.

Deshasafraisy Sat 10-Feb-18 12:02:23

Yanbu. I really don’t like dogs in my house either.

Deshasafraisy Sat 10-Feb-18 12:03:26

Go rescue a cat from a shelter and solve a lot of problems.

UserSnoozer Sat 10-Feb-18 12:03:45

I'd compromise, it stays in the garden and comes indoors at night but goes in a portable fabric crate to sleep in.

Dljlr Sat 10-Feb-18 12:04:23

I won't let my sister bring her enormous, smelly, drooling dog to my house. She's actually a very sweet natured animal (and I really don't like dogs as a rule!) but the drooling and the smell really makes me gag. She shakes her head and spit goes everywhere; when I go to my sister's the furniture is often damp envy <-- not envy. She's unhappy at my attitude about it and I think it has caused tension, because she barely comes to stay now, but I can't help how I feel, just as you can't. It's your house so if you really don't want the dog there you have to say so I think.

Jammycustard Sat 10-Feb-18 12:04:32

YANBU. Sounds disgusting.

NoSquirrels Sat 10-Feb-18 12:06:47

If you wanted to appear accommodating, whilst really planning to put them off the idea themselves, you could say the dig can come but these are the rules:

a) pre-booked into a groomer at your end fir a wash & dry before it enters your house

b) stays in the kitchen on hard sweepable floors the whole stay - no access to lounge, bedrooms etc., no excuses.

c) no toileting in the garden- multiple walks!

d) not to be left alone in your house, so one of them to stay with it in daytrips, no meals in pubs etc etc

Be open to the idea but give them enough rules that they decide it’s better fir them and the dog if it stays behind?

Desmondo2016 Sat 10-Feb-18 12:07:19

God no, you're being perfectly reasonable. I would definitely not have a dog staying in my house and I wouldn't even feel momentarily bad about saying no.

Desmondo2016 Sat 10-Feb-18 12:08:25

And it seems a bit ott to say yes and give a massive list of ground rules. You know what's going to happen if it comes, it's gonna be a dribble smelly mess getting onto everything . So just say no and save yourself the stress!

NoSquirrels Sat 10-Feb-18 12:11:12

it seems a bit ott to say yes and give a massive list of ground rules

Deliberately OTT, though! To put them off.

I love dogs - I’d be fine for my in laws to bring theirs (my MIL does, sometimes, in fact). But OP doesn’t want to appear mean...

Peachyking000 Sat 10-Feb-18 12:11:32

I would refuse, and try and get another cat asap

RandomMess Sat 10-Feb-18 12:13:23

YANBU - I hate putting my dog in kennels but it's just what you do!

I would also remind them that you often have plans that wouldn't work if they bring the dog.

babyccinoo Sat 10-Feb-18 12:14:14

Get another cat!

Don't say yes, if you allow it once that will be it.

ZeroFuchsGiven Sat 10-Feb-18 12:15:59

I would never allow a dog in my home, I really don't care who I offend.

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