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To think we should have the right to die

(178 Posts)
sirlee66 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:29:45

If my dog was, God forbid, hit by a car or became terminal and there was no way she would get better, She'd get out down. It would be the kindest thing for her

I recently lost my Grandad. He had dementia and developed some other complications. We weren't close but it was still sad to see someone I once knew as so strong become so very frail. It was incredibly hard on my poor Mum.

Towards the end he was very ill. I wouldn't let my dog suffer in the way he did.

I don't know. I have very mixed emotions about it at the minute. I don't know what to think.

Is it unreasonable to want 'dieing with dignity' to be legal in the UK?

bilbodog Fri 09-Feb-18 17:39:07

Couldnt agree more. My dad also had dementia but luckily died before he became totally bed ridden. My mum died of a brain hemorrage but if she had survived could have been left as a vegetable which would have been unbearable for all concerned and her worst nightmare. I would vote for a dignitas situation.

BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:42:22

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My mum is in her 90s with dementia and bed ridden, being fed puréed food. She's not going to improve just lingers on with no idea who she is, where she is.

Like you say you wouldn't let an animal linger on like that. But it does raise the question of relatives who don't have the best intentions being involved in the decision to sue.

BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:42:36

Die not sue!

Bluelady Fri 09-Feb-18 17:42:40

My family all know that I'm off to Switzerland at the first sign of dementia. I'm not going there.

meandmytinfoilhat Fri 09-Feb-18 17:43:53

I agree. We should have a choice.

UpstartCrow Fri 09-Feb-18 17:44:02

Yanbu, there are some diseases which rob people of their dignity at the end, or are immensely painful.
I would like the right to make a living will.

DGRossetti Fri 09-Feb-18 17:45:15


Is it unreasonable to want 'dying with dignity' to be legal in the UK?

No. And having had to endure my DMs terrible last year or so, I would have done it myself.

But the problem is you can't simultaneously raise human life above all else (as we have done) and declare that some peoples lives should be curtailed.

It's been a perennial ethical dilemma (I learned the word "euthanasia" as a result). But there's no solution I can see although YANBU.

What you are asking for is a pass to murder - either by action, or inaction.

Fluffyears Fri 09-Feb-18 17:46:30

I agree. I watched fil diebfrom cancer that ravaged him, he was 5 1/2 stone unconscious and inlynout of pain due to morphine. He was dying, no doubt, why let him suffer.

My dad died from pneumonia and basically slowly suffocated which was hell, he’d been a bed bound she’ll for years due to MS, again his end could have been less of a struggle.

My gran was terrified of lingering as she was a geriatric nurse. Always told us to shoot her if she became vegetative, she had a major stroke and she passed away but if she had survived she would have been doubly incontinent and vegetative. The thought terrified her. Imsgevwould havevwanted to have her life ended.

DartmoorDoughnut Fri 09-Feb-18 17:48:55

Totally agree.

lolaflores Fri 09-Feb-18 17:48:59

I am not sure if this is the right way of putting it but I will try.
If you can have a birth plan, then you ought to have a death plan. So, if such and such happens, then certain actions should be taken and let that be the final word on any matters. And I think it should be an issue raised with everyone by GPs and health professionals as part of a health review. Statutory.

purplesquirrel1 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:51:45

Maybe we should government petition it? I'm 100% behind this.

Anxiousally Fri 09-Feb-18 17:53:53

I could not agree more OP.

scrabbler3 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:54:22

I think that people should be able to make these decisions for themselves when they're conpetent, in readiness for the worst case scenario.

However, there will be those who sign the forms because they don't want to "be a burden". I can imagine single people in particular feeling like this, or those with just one child.

Others, sadly, will have pressure brought to bear.

It would need to be closely regulated.

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad Fri 09-Feb-18 17:54:57

To quote the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett - My Life, My Death, My Choice.

Kenworthington Fri 09-Feb-18 17:55:25

I have written a. Living will stating my wish to be sent to dignitas I’d end when the time comes. My dad is in late stage dementia , in a care home, bedridden. He was diagnosed at 68. I never ever ever want the living death that he’s going through. It scares me more than anything

chickensaresafehere Fri 09-Feb-18 17:55:59

Watched my df waste away & die from dementia.
I'm off to Dignitas if I find out I've got it.

Troels Fri 09-Feb-18 17:56:08

Completly agree OP.
I like the idea of the death plan same as a Birth plan.
I and many of my Coworkers have said we are off to Switzerland if we are given a diagnosis of Demetia I would not want to put my family through seeing me and caring for me like that.
I work in Dementia care, we love our patients very much. Then the end is very sad and often drawn out.

lightcola Fri 09-Feb-18 17:57:13

Completely agree. The DNR process is the closest we have to it.

tiggytape Fri 09-Feb-18 17:57:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DGRossetti Fri 09-Feb-18 17:57:50

To quote the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett - My Life, My Death, My Choice.

Which is fine if you can press your own plunger. But what if you can't, and somebody else has to ? What if you are not only unable to do that, but communicate anything ? Who can be sure the person dying still wants to die, after they can't signal to the contrary ?

The80sweregreat Fri 09-Feb-18 17:58:04

I agree 100 percent.

ArkAtEee Fri 09-Feb-18 18:00:48

I suffer from chronic illness and am terrified of other people making decisions about my quality of life, so no. I'm not religious so it's not about that. I don't want to feel pressured to end my life if I become a burden to others.

I think the 'death plan' idea is good, but you never know how you'll actually feel and death is irreversible.

I feel for people, but if it was easy to write a law that legalised murder under certain circumstances, yet also put no pressure on ill individuals and allowed for a change of mind, it would already have been done.

I worry that the public desire for such a law will mean it will eventually be realised.

Chattymummyhere Fri 09-Feb-18 18:01:00

It should be something on our notes a bit like a DNR but only able to be put on by the person themselves and to be checked/updated at every medical appointment. Something simple “does not wish treatment to live/prolong life in a vegative state” then a defined definition of vegative state, unable to feed/dress/consummate verbally/incontinent etc at each persons discretion.

Tipsntoes Fri 09-Feb-18 18:01:03

On the face of it I agree but I don't think it's possible to implement a system that wouldn't be abused. Unfortunately I think there would be too many cases when "it's for the best" meant it was in the best interests of someone or some people other than the patient.

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