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School and dd

(8 Posts)
Notjustthecatsmother Fri 09-Feb-18 14:58:46

Please gentle with me, first time poster and looking for advice.

My dd is 9. She’s always been very loud and confident but since starting school she’s really gone into her shell. At her first school she was bullied so i moved her. She was fine at her second school but then dh got a new job so we moved area. The school she at now is where she has been since year 2, now in year 4. It’s a small village school with less than 100 children, only 7 in her year. She is finding socially things are tough, mostly as there so few others children. I’ve spoken to school repeatedly but nothing is done. She was horrendously bullied last year. The bully has now left. Two of the other children in her year have ASD. This isn’t a problem, my DS who is 13 has ASD so I completely understand all the issues but dd feels a bit swamped by ASD. I’ve had her assessed for ASD given ds’s DX but she’s NT. Anyway, this school isn’t the closest to us, it’s about 6 miles from our home. So I’ve put her name down for our local school which is currently full but I’m hopeful there might be a place eventually for dd.

Dh doesn’t want dd to move school again. He likes the smallness of her current school but I’m weary of it all. She often clings to me at drop off and comes out in tears. Teachers aren’t too interested, including the Head. Dd says she feels invisible when she’s at school. Dd is happy to move and I’m happy to move her should we get the chance and if she wants to go. WIBU to move her again?

I’m not very confident in myself andi also have anxiety. I find decision making difficult so I’m turning to the wisdom of MN.

Blankuser1992 Fri 09-Feb-18 15:08:23

I feel so sorry for your little one but maybe moving isn’t the option.

Maybe it would be better to write a letter to the schoo board repeatedly until they start dealing with this.

Get her involved In drama club, rainbows etc

Something social because she will need to deal with conflict at some point etc

Hillarious Fri 09-Feb-18 15:11:17

What about the move to secondary? If she is to move schools, I'd ensure it's to a school where the cohort will predominantly move together to secondary so she's able to settle and make friends.

Snowysky20009 Fri 09-Feb-18 15:15:19

So this would be her 4th school (possibly) in 5 years? That's a lot for a little one.

Tainbri Fri 09-Feb-18 15:21:10

Totally agree with Hillarious that if you do choose to move a feeder school to whichever secondary would make sense.y son is at a v small school and struggles with friendships and I do try the involve him with out of school clubs doing things he likes so the kids he meets have more in common with him and his interests which helps.

Notjustthecatsmother Fri 09-Feb-18 15:38:20

I don’t really want to move her again but the proposed new school is the feeder school for the secondary school that I want dd to go to. This is where DS is who is having a fabulous time at school smile Dd does out of school stuff - martial arts (she’s actually really good!!) hockey etc She also goes to a youth club where everyone else is from the possible new school. I just want dd to be happy as my ds is smile

Tainbri Sat 10-Feb-18 08:12:02

Makes sense to have them together smile

CatMuffin Sat 10-Feb-18 08:16:10

I'd move her. She's not happy at the current school. It helped my dd's confidence going up to high school with friends

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