Overly sensitive or rude friend?(19 Posts)
My closest friend is organising my baby shower for me and whilst she has been ADAMANT that it was her job to organise, she hasn't stopped moaning about how much money it's going to cost her which has made me feel put out...
Further to this, my baby shower is organised for when I'n really quite pregnant like 36 or so weeks which I'm worrying about (1st baby, already feeling rubbish and convinced he's coming early) a couple of months ago I mentioned that it might be too late in the day, & have said that if we could change the date and not all the guests can make it, I don't care as long as my dearest and nearest can. I was then accused of being ungrateful?!!
Throughout my pregnancy she has joked about how fat I am and how she doesn't feel that excited for the birth of my baby which i've not taken well!
I've been majorly sensitive (and probably hormonal!) throughout this pregnancy so haven't said anything but would really appreciate you guys advice.. .please! Do I leave it ?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
mainly because if i'd try to cancel it now the aggro I would get back !! I've already been told i'm ungrateful once...
It's not worth the upset. Do you think you'll feel better if you cancel? She's ruining a day that could be really nice and dare I say it, she sounds jealous.
Call her and tell her it's cancelled, you're not feeling it, you're having a small get together etc. Tell her her attitude stinks if she sulks and rants. She knows it's true.
Your friend sounds like a nasty piece of work. Tell her politely and firmly that you have decided you don't want a baby shower. Tell her she's made it clear how it is costing her money and you don't feel up to it anyway.
I'd be reducing contact with this friend of yours. Arrange a nice low key meal with your close friends and family or whatever you want to do.
You're the one having the baby so it's your decision, she has no place forcing you to have a baby shower. Be firm with her! The worst case is she falls out with you but from what you've posted, that wouldn't be such a bad thing!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
She seems resentful. However baby showers can cost a lot especially if there is food etc
It’s a bit of a grey area. Does organising means she needs to pay?
I've changed my name FYI
we're going for a meal at a restaurant, i can imagine it would be cakes and decorations that would need to be paid for
Why do people bother with baby showers? I don't get it. American nonsense. If it's too expensive then say we can just have something simpler at home, surely?
I'm with throwcushions on this. These 'showers' are becoming the new Tupperware parties from the 1970s and 1980s where you felt pressurised into buying stuff, or spending more than you normally would. Admitedly my children are all grown up now but when I'd had them (not before as it was considered tempting fate!) people would visit with presents. That meant close friends and family, and not all and sundry who tend to get invited to these things!
Could she be a little bit envious of you? Do you know if she's struggling ttc?
Maybe she wants to be supportive which is why she said she'd organise it but is struggling herself?
Maybe you should just say you'd like to do something more low key and just have your nearest and dearest round.
Baby showers are becoming like mini weddings!! I've had gift lists sent through along with an expensive meal in a fancy restaurant. Along with a big gift for the Mum as well as the baby! It's ridiculous!
Say to her "I promise hand on heart I'm not being ungrateful but I don't actually want a baby shower any way. Let's just cancel and forget all about it."
She doesn't sound very nice.
Is she arranging the baby shower with no input from you? You're not expecting her to do things that cost monryou?
She’s called you ungrateful, fat and said that’s she’s not excited for the birth of your baby? That don’t sound like very nice things to say but then again we don’t know the context/tone they were said in. Reading it though, it doesn’t sound nice. And why is she moaning about costs? Did she offer to organise and pay for everything? Have you offered to reinburse her?
My mum organised my baby shower for 37 Weeks and I felt guitly that she was paying for everything, although I offered to cover costs numerous times. We only had it at her house though so costs were low.
Ask her to cancel, it sounds like she is being the martyr (wants everyone to see how wonderful/good/kind/selfless/generous etc she is doing it for her friend, and also wants sympathy for the expense it is costing her)
Cancel, and do your own with your family or something
Thanks all for your messages .
I haven't asked her for anything at all as far as the baby shower is concerned... She won't actually tell me what the other things are that she's organised either but I have told her I'll go to costco with her to pick up a cheap cake and given her the details of a friend that makes cakes too to help with cost.
She has always been VERY funny about money, like, she would ask me back for £2 and she works full time with little outgoings too. She isn't trying for a baby nor does she want one lol so I don't think that's why!!
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