To fantasise about being laid up for six weeks with a broken leg?(104 Posts)
I'm only half joking.
I'm mid-40's and, I guess like so many others this age, am into that juggling stage of young children, elderly parents, career, trying to run a household, etc etc.
I've got 3 DC's, 19, 10 & 8. 19yo away at uni, reasonably self sufficient these days. 10 and 8 year olds in the usual whirl of homework projects, extra curricular clubs, battles about screens, squabbling with each other fairly constantly. My mum is 80, recently had a four month stay in hospital but is now back home. She's quite possibly not fit enough to be home, but she wasn't ill enough to stay in hospital and refused point blank a nursing home placement. DF died many years ago, so she lives alone, and requires a lot of support. I'm 350 miles away though, so can't help much practically on a daily basis. I have four older DB's, but they're much too fucking Busy and Important to concern themselves with any of that (that's a whole new thread, and not really relevant to this one).
On top of this, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of a career. I work full time, but not senior enough to dictate my own working diary or anything. To be fair, my employer was fantastic when my DM was in intensive care for five weeks - I was given plenty of leeway for time off to go and visit. But, now she's home, I've had to get refocused on my job. Which is fair enough of course.
I do have a DH, works long (ish) hours - he's out of the house 7am-7pm, with the odd bit of travel thrown in. He does do his fair share of grudge work, but could probably do more of the "thinking" work iykwim? For eg, I very much doubt he knows what day the DC's have PE, so wouldn't take it upon himself to organise their kit. Similarly, I seriously doubt he's been spending any time on ebay lately, trying to cobble together a couple of costumes for World Book Day. So, yes, he could do more. But, we're both struggling with zero family help, so I don't want to be too harsh on him.
AIBU to dream about breaking my leg or suchlike? To wish I could just lay back on the sofa for six weeks in recovery, read a few novels, watch all the stuff on the Sky Planner which has been filling up for months, and just be brought things? Tea and snacks on a tray maybe? I'm not asking for much!
Yanbu. I often think that a short spell in prison would be a lovely break from the housework . Disclaimer...i'm actually a law abiding citizen..just one who does a lot of housework!
Oh yes! 23 hours a day in solitary confinement sounds amazing, just sitting quietly alone with my thoughts. I can't remember the last time I got 23 minutes alone with my thoughts! And I'm not a foodie type, so I'll manage to put up with prison food, no problem. Anything given on a tray that I haven't had to cook or serve up myself would be very gratefully received.
They even allow you books.
I haven't finished a chapter in one go since 1996.
Yes to all of that! My sister and I often fantasise about a short (ish) spell in prison to just read and sleep! Preferably solitary. You know the reality of breaking your leg would probably just involve you hobbling around trying to do all the same stuff but with discomfort and greater difficulty. Boo.
I had 2 nights in hospital for a minor op - it was amazing . What made it even better was my stressed dh saying “I could never be a single parent “
I had an ovary removed a couple of years ago and whilst the surgery was fairly minuscule, there was a complication which meant another op (relatively pain-free though) and the result was almost 4 weeks off work while both DCs were at school and MIL and DH doing everything in the whole world.
It was the best fun I've had in my whole life.
I’m sorry you are feeling stressed and exhausted but a broken leg is a serious thing for an adult.
My friend’s DH died following a broken leg.
Besides which you’d still have to do the thinking you’d just be in pain while doing it.
I think you are being perfectly reasonable. I often think that there should be a health issue that requires you to have a month or two off work when you are not too ill to enjoy it!
I imagine you might still be the one calling up people for lifts, owing favours, doing online shopping.
I had six weeks off work last year for severe pelvic pain of unknown cause. Thought it'd be a breeze and a holiday - in reality I was hallucinating from analgesia, suffering with an induced temporary 'menopause', catheterised a couple of times and spent much of the time asleep/ spaced out! By the time I was back at work I was crying with relief for normality.
I was off work from mid pregnancy.
It was amazing, just lying there drifting on and off all day, other people doing the shopping and cooking...
I'd love to say it gets boring but I never got bored (I was sleeping around 16 hours per day though).
The only annoying thing is other people doing stuff and not doing it the right way (eg putting cans in the cupboard) or buying the right things (eg the reason I said to get Persil is because I'm allergic to Ariel...).
thistlebelle that's awful to hear about your friend's DH - I genuinely didn't know a broken leg could lead to a fatality.
I do realise I'm lucky. I've got fairly good health, aside from a couple of insignificant ailments. I realise it must be hellish to be laid up with serious health problems, disability or pain. I feel for anyone who's experiencing that, and I'm sorry if my (mostly lighthearted) OP has read as insensitive in any way.
That aside, I just don't seem to have any sort of a quality of life away from the treadmill. My alarm goes off at 6.30am, and I'm pretty much on the go til the DC's are settled at 8.30/9ish. It's just relentless, and absolutely none of it is for my own personal enjoyment. It's half term next week, but I need to make the journey up to see mum, DC's in tow, to sleep on air beds in her lit t cottage.
Yes, I could join an evening club or something, and it's entirely my own doing that I haven't done anything on that front. But, frankly, I can't be arsed. I just get into my jimjams and lurk on MN til bedtime. Then it all starts again.
Jock sorry, didn’t mean to bring you down.
I know exactly how you feel. You need to share your feelings with your DH, see what changes you can make.
Small things can make a big difference.
I had a broken leg last year. Didn't get a wink of sleep through pain and discomfort. Stuck in the house with cabin fever. Surgery wounds got infected. DH had to work so I was on a frame hopping looking after a toddler trapped indoors. It was fucking horrendous.
Yanbu. A year ago I had 4 nights in hospital with sepsis. Apart from the bit when I was barely conscious and thought I might die, it was fucking ace. Food was crap but I wasn’t really eating anyway. And the nature of the original infection meant I lost loads of weight, most of which stayed off. Fab.
Not so long ago I contemplated crashing my car to have a full night sleep in A&E 😳😳
Luckily decided to co sleep with my baby instead 😂
Yup I often think this - maybe 2 weeks in hospital just to get a break! Although as pp said you’d prob still be the one doing the thinking, on your phone ordering the food shopping and the ebay bits...
Be careful what you wish for though. I can’t do much because I’m chronically ill. I don’t have any social life, never, go out, can’t even do a supermarket shop, most of my friends have left me behind. I’m in bed most of the time. I struggle to look after my dd (9), School pick up is horrendous, I struggle along and fear I’m going to collapse at the school gates as I have done several times. When I’m really ill, dd gets her own tea and I go to bed. Life also is not for my pleasure.
I’m not taking offence at all. I’d really like to swap with you actually. All I’m saying is however hard it is, do try to see the brighter side of life and get some you time whenever you can.
When my 2 DCs were in primary school, I broke my arm and needed surgery to have it pinned and wired. After the initial shock and worry, I rather enjoyed the 3 days of enforced rest from home and work duties. I didn't do very much, as my brain was a bit scrambled by the anaesthetic and morphine, but I was very relaxed!
The point where I stood at the top of the stairs leading up to my office, trying to decide how many steps I needed to fall down to get some time in hospital to rest was the lowest point of my life. It followed a commute where every junction I had to stop myself pulling out into traffic on purpose.
That said, I’m a lot better now (and in a different job!) and quite fancy an enforced hospital stay for something minor...
YANBU. My work colleague recently took leave to go on a skiing holiday and she told me she was hoping to fracture something seriously enough that she would be away a lot longer than three weeks
Not gonna go into details but you want something that keeps you away but allows you to move.
Broken leg means little movement which makes for... Um... challenging bowel movements
a full night sleep in A&E
You've never spent time in hospital?
I spent three nights in hospital and didn't get a full nights sleep.
The first night I was woken every 30 mins for observation.
There is always loads of movement, people, bleeping, snoring etc.
Book yourself into a Travelodge for a night.
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