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To not be able to cope with this?

(13 Posts)
strawberryrum Thu 08-Feb-18 22:41:22

Not really AIBU but more what should I do?

For the past few weeks Dh has been really short with me. Whenever I say something he always seems to take it the wrong way. He gets angry, raises his voice, storms around and flies into a rage.

I've asked why and he says he is just tired. I think he resents me because I have to get up at 6.30 to go to work and this disturbs his sleep. He wants us to go to bed at 9pm but I don't feel tired then and he says he can't sleep properly if I go to bed after him.

I've started to want to spend more time at work away from him. People are nice to me there and I don't have to worry about arguing over the slightest thing. He acts aggressively when he's like this. Not like he is going to physically hurt me but he will slam things around and storm about. It's really getting to me and making me feel very upset. I don't know what I should do. It's got so bad we are in separate beds tonight.

I have basically tried walking on eggshells. Remaining very calm and considered during his outbursts. Not sure how much longer I can take it.

HolyMountain Thu 08-Feb-18 22:47:04

Don’t take it anymore.

You don’t have to tolerate twattish behaviour. We all have our odd data but no one should be made to feel like shit and put up with it.

HolyMountain Thu 08-Feb-18 22:47:51

* off dayshmm.

PushMyButton Thu 08-Feb-18 22:55:48

Oh @strawberryrum that's not good x

strawberryrum Thu 08-Feb-18 22:59:25

No it's really not good. Not sure what else I can do. Or if it really is down to tiredness whether I should just go to bed at 9pm to avoid this. So maybe I am being unreasonable in a sense.

MrsMaxwell Thu 08-Feb-18 23:02:02

My DH was like this until he was diagnosed with anxiety and he is on anti anxiety medication and he’s fine when he takes it properly.

I can tell by his behaviour if he was missed even one pill - he’s an absolute prick, like living with an overgrown, tantruming 2 yr old, on the pills he’s lovely.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 08-Feb-18 23:04:29

You are not being unreasonable and you absolutely should not allow him to control you through abuse and bullying. Put an end to this bullshit right now. Tell him he gains control of himself or he can leave. Tell him you will no longer tolerate being an emotional hostage in your own home. Just because he's "tired" does not give him the right to terrorize or intimidate you.

strawberryrum Thu 08-Feb-18 23:07:56

I don't think he suffers from anxiety but I'll try anything and will ask him if he is feeling anything like that.

Badwifey Thu 08-Feb-18 23:09:10

My dh works nights and on his nights off comes to bed quite late. I can never sleep properly until he's in the bed beside me as I know he's going to wake me up coming in. I'm usually up with dd in the mornings and am usually quite grumpy too. The sleep debt builds up!

He is being a dick about it though. I think you're both going to have to compromise on this or else sleep in separate rooms.

G120810 Fri 09-Feb-18 20:56:31

His behaviour is not right he's not tired that doesn't happen when u're tired that's an excuse to act like that and u end up trying things to stay away why bed at 9 how can u getting into our bed disturb him go to bed when u want when he is acting like this walk away if he follows keep walking and ignore him or go out do not reward this behaviour when he has calmed down tell him it's unacceptable and if he's that tired and having sleep problems he needs to go to doctors he can't do Shiy like that and u're accepting and allowing him to do it. Please don't argue back that's usually when u get a slap for ure cheek

Plainlycrackers Fri 09-Feb-18 21:08:34

How much sleep does he need? sounds like a lot... I think this is not about you but his MH in some way... S.A.D. Perhaps... tiredness and poor quality sleeping can definitely be indicators of MH. Hope you get to the truth of the matter.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Fri 09-Feb-18 21:11:29

Sorry to ask, but do you think he could have his eye on another woman? Lots of men start acting like total pricks when their head's been turned - a way of blaming you and justifying for what they know deep down is their own bad behaviour.

strawberryrum Fri 09-Feb-18 22:03:01

I don't know. I don't think he's the type to cheat but I suppose no one thinks their partner will cheat on them. He is secretive with his phone but doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating?
It's very frustrating. I don't know why he can't just be pleasant. It must be more tiring to turn everything into an argument.

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