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Refusing a family wedding invite.

(10 Posts)
Gigimoll Thu 08-Feb-18 19:42:43

Hi all,
So let me start by I'm 33w pregnant with our ds. There's going to be 11 months between him and our dd providing he's on time. If he's not on time, the latest he will be due is the 13th April.
So I have a problem. My cousin is getting married. I'm not overly close to that side of the family at all but I'd never not see them. Just life has taken over and we're both busy.
We found out about ds quite late as I've still been bleeding, no bump and I was using contraception. Luckily he's all well and healthy and suddenly I've grown quite a big bump. Because I don't see them and I haven't told my dad yet I'm pregnant, we are expected to go to this wedding. Which would be fine if I wasn't expecting.
Would it be unreasonable to decline the invitation but give a bit to their honeymoon? If he's late there's no way I'd be wanting to be up and about at a disco late at night just after having a baby. Especially as my dd is so young too.
I'll happily go to the service if he's on time I'd have had a fair bit of recovery time by that point, just not the reception as it starts at 8pm and I want my dd in a very strong routine by this point..
Do I decline or do I agree to attend? She wants us to rsvp but I cannot gaurentee when he will arrive. I Could still be in hospital by the actual day sad

HelgasFlowers Thu 08-Feb-18 19:45:20

We invited three couples to ours that were expecting. Two didn’t come because of the reasons you’ve stated and we completely understood. I’m sure your family will too!

BrandNewHouse Thu 08-Feb-18 19:45:29

If you aren’t going to the dinner: just the service at a max RSVP NO, with a hand written note.

WhiteWalkersWife Fri 09-Feb-18 14:18:42

Decline and send a nice card.

mindutopia Fri 09-Feb-18 14:21:36

I think that's absolutely fine. Potentially being in labour is a perfectly reasonable reason not to attend a wedding, especially for a distant family member you aren't even close to. Just send them a nice note explaining why and send a card and gift closer to the day.

user1493413286 Fri 09-Feb-18 14:22:43

I’d decline the invite and if you want give a present/money contribution . I’m getting married soon and I’m quite stressed about getting people’s rsvp but if people can’t come then that’s not a problem

nogrip Fri 09-Feb-18 14:53:25

Why haven't you told your dad you are 33w pregnant?

HollyBayTree Fri 09-Feb-18 14:57:47

O/T Why havent you told your dad?

As they say a wedding invitation isnt a summons. If you dont see the people often then I really wouldn't bother, make your apologies and dont go. You arent obliged to manufacture an excuse either. TBH if it were my wedding and I was the centre of attendtion, the last thing I'd want is a brand new baby upstaging me but I'm like that grin

Nothing to stop you making an evening appearance if you are in a fit state to do so

Gigimoll Fri 09-Feb-18 16:33:18

I found out late. I was still bleeding etc and he's been away. I don't want to text him the news

G120810 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:04:05

Nothing stopping you from going to service as this is not hard pregnant or not but obvs you tell her you can't as that is to much and tell everyone you are pregnant she will understand either way xx

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