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Ttc and really fed up

(4 Posts)
Davies7876 Thu 08-Feb-18 19:26:36

So my story goes on my second marriage of 2 years previous husband infertile..im 39 coming up to my 40th this year and in feeling so sad and alone on our journey for a child of our own 2 years trying about to embark on ivf and I feel like giving up

Had a hycosy scan to reveal mild endrometoris blocked left fallopian tube and left ovary adhesions lost over 5 stone stopped smoking eating healthy etc ...was meant to start ivf in September but we got lost on the NHS list but manged to get that sorted ...our second appoitnment we were told because we vape we had a delay with starting our ivf another 6 weeks waiting to start and was meant to be referred to smoking cessation which i might add they prescibe vaping devices on the NHS smoking cessations no mention in the clinic about vapping patient info or website about vapping took it up with big chief and for offered to reduce two weeks off the 6 week for our next appointment i refused it as it would.give me chance to get off the vapping and lose a few extra pounds...my husband doesn't take any interest as to when I'm ovulation or any interest in ttc he has just admitted he didn't even know about ovulation I'm at my wits end here it all my fault we don't have it around my ovulation he's not a mind reader and now it because I'm sleeping all the time I work 12 hr shifts and I'm up at 4 am

My partner has a son previous marriage age 7 which was a messy break up I feel he fears that our relationship will end in the same way which I think reflects in our journey ttc

I have been having regular accupuncture which I've just cancelled for next week I'm not holding my breath for our next NHS appointment as it so tight the rules and I'm sure they will find something to delay our treatment

WonkyDonk87 Thu 08-Feb-18 19:33:28

Hi @Davies7876 - sorry you're having a crap time. you might find more likeminded mners on the Infertility or conception boards. Feel free to stick your nose into the Yam thread (can't remember the exact title) - we're a welcoming bunch smile

Talkingfrog Fri 09-Feb-18 00:13:22

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. It is not surprising you are fed up.

I think a lot of men find it harder to get their head around a woman's cycle. I know when we were ttc and I tried to explain some things to my dh, he only seemed to be able to get his head around a certain amount of info, and then rest went straight over.

You may be right that he has an element of fear of history repeating itself, and is therefore burying his head in the sand as to how you feel.

You may have already done this, but have you both had a truthful discussion on how you feel. I know it can be difficult to start the conversation, especially if you think the other person is going to have a different opinion, but once the conversation has started, you may surprise each other. (we did - our first discussions had been on a more practical level, rather than emotional so for a while we did not fully understand the reasons for each others feelings.)

It sounds as if you are doing everything possible to prepare yourself for treatment in terms of weight loss, stopping smoking, acupuncture etc. Working 12 hr shifts must be hard when ttc.

Hope your next appointment goes well, that you can start treatment soon and get a positive outcome.

G120810 Fri 09-Feb-18 20:48:35

Look up on what you need to do in order to have IVF so u are prepared as cut off time is 40 years I know u are longing for a child but u can't blame him for not knowing when u're ovulating how would he know u have to test to no ure very stressed just quit smoking all together no treatment as that will not be ok as it still has nicotine don't turn everything in your life about baby's ovulating you n your partner will be stressed and that is not gd for IVF calm down u won't know what will happen at next appointment so there is no point making ureself I'll have you thought about fostering just now while u go through this process it will give you the experience and keep ure mind clear please keep open dialogue with partner not just about baby as some men can't handle it and u can drift apart as sex becomes all about baby Making x

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