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AIBU - DH gives DD chocolate at 7.30am

(132 Posts)
Nquartz Thu 08-Feb-18 17:01:55

DH drops DD off at breakfast club 4 days a week and they leave about 10 minutes after I go to work. Apparently after I have left it is so hard to get DD out the door without a meltdown that DH gives her some chocolate.

I have asked him repeatedly not to (and I get her out of the house on the 5th day without any kind of meltdown) but he says I'm not there so it isn't up to me.

I think giving a 6 year old chocolate 4 days a week at 7.30am is fucking disgraceful but is he right that as I'm not there it isn't up to me?

Ericaequites Mon 12-Feb-18 22:18:52

StealthPolar- My folks didn't trust fluoride or sealants. We patronized a very painful dentist. It was miserable. Now, dentists insist on constant X-rays, which are expensive and dangerous. In the States, it is recommended children see a dentist before they are a year old. New dentist often insist on redoing work for a previous dentist, and won't quote prices. All this seems precious and excessive.

postix Sun 11-Feb-18 16:21:43

fhhfffghffhjh ghhffytrthddd ddrtrhhd

BookHelpPlease Sun 11-Feb-18 16:02:41

It's the worst time because it's probably just after her teeth have been brushed and furthest away from having the brushed again.

Saracen Sun 11-Feb-18 15:55:13

It isn't ideal, but he's the parent on duty. I think you are overreacting. Let him find his own way.

It may well be that in the long run he sees he is getting into an ineffective pattern and decides to copy your methods instead. You don't need to micromanage him over this.

WonderLime Sun 11-Feb-18 12:34:02

Could she have SEN?

Considering mum can get her out the house without chocolate then this sounds like a parenting issue.

hupiv Sun 11-Feb-18 12:01:04

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KendalMintCakey Sat 10-Feb-18 18:27:41

Could she have SEN?

dairymilkmonster Sat 10-Feb-18 13:45:59

For me it depends how much chocolate. I would give a chocolate button/smartie or similar to get out without the tantrum and stress that goes along with it. Not more than that.
I was concerned about the chocolate button for a wee on the potty that people suggested - I assumed it would just turn into a chocolate fest, but actually it fizzled itself out as ds1 got used to the potty.
Now I am giving 1 chocolate button bribes for good effort on writing/ other things ds1 finds hard and therefore doesn't want to do. A packet seems to last a while.

IceBearRocks Sat 10-Feb-18 12:59:26

No way you should need to bribe your kids to go to school

Cauliflowersqueeze Sat 10-Feb-18 12:47:13

I had the parent of a 14 year old a few years ago admit that the only way she could get her son up and off to school was by giving him a packet of fags. It started with chocolate.

It’s not the giving of the chocolate or the calories consumed, it’s the manipulation and bribery.

livoh Sat 10-Feb-18 12:40:08

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AssassinatedBeauty Fri 09-Feb-18 19:57:00

Twice a day is what the NHS recommend.

Tarraleaha Fri 09-Feb-18 19:22:05

I've always been told to brush my teeth 3 times a day, not just 2.
But we do have 3 meals a day, so that might be why

AssassinatedBeauty Fri 09-Feb-18 19:01:07

The chocolate's not important, it's about the bribing to do what should be a basic expectation. A small amount of chocolate everyday alongside a balance diet, active lifestyle and teeth brushing twice a day is neither here nor there.

windchimesabotage Fri 09-Feb-18 19:00:10

and an adult having one normal sized chocolate bar a day provided they are active and healthy in other ways, is fine I think.

Child having a bit of chocolate 4 days a week is also fine (provided they are fairly active)

Bad parenting to bribe the child and as you say reward her for kicking off about not going to school.

windchimesabotage Fri 09-Feb-18 18:58:06

How much chocolate? Its not great parenting but its not as awful as you are making out I dont think. Depends on the size of the chocolate. If its a whole mars bar or something thats obv worse than a smartie.

Nquartz Fri 09-Feb-18 18:55:19

Across that's what I think, she shouldn't be rewarded for kicking off over going to school.

DH has a kit kat chunky everyday at work hence the half for DD. He thinks having chocolate everyday is perfectly normal, and as there's no outward signs of it negatively affecting him (he's slim, good teeth etc) he thinks it's find

soccermum43 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:43:33

with my first one i said no sweets until he was 6 but with my second i relaxed it

VioletCharlotte Fri 09-Feb-18 17:35:37

The OP said earlier in the thread, chocolate coins or footballs, or half a Kit Kat chunkie.

Anyone else really want a kit Kat chunkie now?

AcrossthePond55 Fri 09-Feb-18 17:24:16

It wouldn't be the chocolate that bothered me. It would be the bribery to do what is expected. I don't recall ever having to bribe my sons to do 'routine' things (school, clean room, etc). I may admit to using a treat to get them to sit still for a shot or behave in church, but not for day to day things.

Bluelady Fri 09-Feb-18 17:22:48

Thanks for clearing that up, Tarra. That KitKat appeared from nowhere.

italiancortado Fri 09-Feb-18 17:19:10

Where did the half chunky KitKat come from?

The OP's house I would imagine? Unless the kids father keeps them in the car grin

Tarraleaha Fri 09-Feb-18 17:16:00

that's the beauty of this forum, someone mentioned a kit kat in a post, and the thread which started as giving a bit of chocolate as a bribe, is now about giving the OP's child a chunky kit kat instead of breakfast grin

Bluelady Fri 09-Feb-18 17:11:20

Where did the half chunky KitKat come from?

Tarraleaha Fri 09-Feb-18 16:57:27

SweetMoon my point is not really about chocolate, it's about the diet as a whole. Your kids might have a perfectly healthy diet, nothing wrong with that, some children do! I have seen what some families pride themselves on giving to their kids, whilst being judgmental about sugar, and it's scary.

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