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Anyone ever left a job because of the people?

(37 Posts)
MandaraSugar Thu 08-Feb-18 11:42:03

Should probably rephrase, colleagues as individuals all seem like nice people however the atmosphere/dynamic of the office is just...dead.

Starting to think I just don't see myself here much longer.

Nobody talks, ever. I've stopped saying hello/goodbye as I never get it from anyone else and when they do reply it's like i've asked them a really odd question. Only 7 in the team so doesn't have the usual hum/buzz of a big open plan office - which is fine, i've worked in small teams and offices before - it just gets me down so much that I don't speak to anyone (bar DH/friends over text at lunch) from 8am-6pm four days a week.

I know work is work, it's not for constant chit chat but i've never worked anywhere where at the very least people don't say "Welcome back, did you have a nice time?" when someone has been on holiday for 2 weeks (this happened yesterday) or "Are you feeling better?" (when someone returned from being off with Aussie flu). I asked both of these questions when I saw said individuals in the kitchen and they seemed happy to chat, it just seems that when they're all together nobody wants to be the one to talk? There's no big, bad Director in the room, we're all on one of two layers of seniority.

The role itself is fine, a step up from what I was doing within the same field.

Happy to be told I'm BU, thought I was a tough old bird but am left feeling so down and dread going in to the morgue office.

CrazyExIngenue Thu 08-Feb-18 11:47:30

I've left 2 jobs because of the people. The last one was because the President was a racist, narcissistic, lunatic who would go on 4 hour long rants or fire people without reason or warning. Those who didn't leave as soon as they could, like me, were such sycophantic suck ups that you couldn't trust them or work with them.

The other one was because it was an environment a lot like the one you're describing. I stayed for almost 7 years, but I was bored and a bit depressed the whole time. It's hard working in an environment that isn't stimulating.

In a lovely place now. Everyone's really friendly and positive.

MandaraSugar Thu 08-Feb-18 11:51:19

Thanks CrazyExIngenue, woah your first example sounds truly awful!

I suppose I'm trying to separate the role from the environment but it's proving hard. Much like I should have left my last role much sooner, but the people were great and I was genuinely happy to see them each day - even if I did exhaust the role many years before I actually left! Can I ask how you stayed for 7 years? Did you manage to block out the office 'environment' for some of this period?

Swatsup Thu 08-Feb-18 11:52:43

I would love this 😂

CrazyExIngenue Thu 08-Feb-18 11:53:14

Can I ask how you stayed for 7 years? Did you manage to block out the office 'environment' for some of this period?

I did my best to stay positive and get to know my close co-workers. Having two babies in 3 years helped. grin I spent most of it in a new mummy fog.

CrispyWanton Thu 08-Feb-18 11:54:39

I left a job because my boss was a complete bitch and nuts.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 08-Feb-18 11:55:41

Yes. More than once.

If the environment is a bad fit for you then ultimately you will end up unmotivated, doing less well than you could. Move.

Ever heard the saying People join a company but leave a manager?

Davenotdave Thu 08-Feb-18 11:57:16

I left my last job as I couldn't stand my seniors. I don't regret it, my new job is harder but the team is amazing and I feel supported rather than belittled

frankchickens Thu 08-Feb-18 12:00:19

Yes

namastayinbed Thu 08-Feb-18 12:02:19

Are you working in my office op? Love my job but the atmosphere is rubbish- so dull and unfriendly.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Thu 08-Feb-18 12:03:14

I left a job where I had lovely friends, a charity with crap pay but interesting and varied work, because of my manager and the HR director. My manager bullied me so badly I had a nervous breakdown, self harmed at my desk and then he just sat there doodling a gravestone and asked if I was suicidal. I walked out and went home, he came round my house with flowers that night and vouchers (We used to get vouchers on a lottery basis if we hadn't been off sick that month). DH refused to let him in the house. I complained to the HR director who wouldn't do anything and said he was just a bit clumsy with people but didn't mean any harm. I was off work for a few months, when I came back he had been investigated for inappropriate behaviour with a client and was dismissed - the HR director apologised to me but it was too little too late so I resigned. I think I got the best deal out of it though - I was only on £12k and went on to a job at double the salary and have since been promoted every 2 years on average.

RedPandaMama Thu 08-Feb-18 12:03:46

I left my last job because my boss literally have no shits about her employees individually, just the team as a whole so she could get her commission. She worked us to the bone. I was only on a 12 hour a week contract (it was in a shop and I was also a full time student at the time) and she put me on a 12 hour shift when I was heavily pregnant, as well as two other shifts that week. Made me and other pregnant employees lift heavy stock, empty the bins (involves carrying up to 10 bin bags of rubbish at a time down to the community bins which are a 10 min walk) in December wearing no coats as 'coats aren't uniform'. When I was written off work by the doctor she repeatedly asked me why I couldn't just come in for a few hours. Refused to pay me sick pay.

I quit and lost my maternity pay because I couldn't take it anymore. Some of the team were nice but everybody just let themselves be walked all over by her. I guess I did too but I had no confidence at that point. Definitely should have taken legal action.

FrostiesMum Thu 08-Feb-18 12:05:54

I work in HR and I think that most people change jobs because of a person / people. Some will obviously move for career progression or family reasons but if they like the people the turnover is usually pretty minimal. It’s people every time that cause the issues...

teaiseverything Thu 08-Feb-18 12:06:52

Oh god yes. One woman was such an overpowering, moody wench that her toxicity filled the entire office and she would quite regularly throw tantrums and stomp out the office. She was a bully and nobody stood up to her. Everyone walked on eggshells around her. I decided to leave and was much happier for it.

LaurieMarlow Thu 08-Feb-18 12:14:50

I left a job because my boss was this immense negative force who sucked the life and joy out of everything. It was too fucking grim.

MissDuke Thu 08-Feb-18 12:18:51

Yes but it in my case I like peace and hate the intimacy that can be expected in office environments. For me, I hated offices where the social side was too much, it just isn't me! I like to go in and just get on my work. I love a bit of chat and fun during breaks but not all day. I also the pressure to socialise outside of work.

Turned out office work just wasn't for me, I now have a job that doesn't involve sitting by colleagues all day and am much happier!

If you are unhappy in a job, whatever the reason, then yanbu to look for a new one!

UnicornRainbowColours Thu 08-Feb-18 12:19:38

I’m a nanny so yes, lol some parents are so difficult and hard to work for.

Bitsy1968 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:35:47

Yes. I took on a short contract, in a department store, in their visual dept (dressing dummies and putting up posters etc) and the woman who was my supervisor was a total nutjob. She was friendly and charming to my face......but didn't tell me how to do my job, where the studio was (I spent an entire fortnight wandering round the store wondering where the rest of the team were hiding) and who complained about me to the store manager when I was "caught" by her, having a conversation with another staff member and she didn't know what I was talking about. As it happened, I was talking to them about opportunities in their dept when my short contract in visual ended. She didn't ask me what we were discussing (never mind that it was our lunchbreak) but assumed it was about her. So she complained and I ended up in the store manager's office, being asked to "explain myself" like a five year old. I just said I couldn't work under somebody so insecure and unpredictable and I could earn minimum wage somewhere less paranoid, thank you, and walked out.

hollowtree Thu 08-Feb-18 12:41:22

I had this in a care home. The most down-trod, miserable bunch you have ever met. When I returned after having got married no one said a word. No congratulations, no 'let's see the photos', nothing. In fact, during a meeting on my first day back, my manager called me my maiden name and I corrected her with a big grin.

She just mumbled 'oh yeah' and carried on.

shakeyourcaboose Thu 08-Feb-18 12:50:29

Yep, healthcare setting and senior nurse and her deputy were hell on wheels narcassistic twisted bitches. Deputy made up lies about me- as in leaving the building during shift, and apparently no evidence of this was needed, just her 'word' to discipline me... Of course got union involved and obvious evidence that I hadn't, and it became a 'just forget about this then' despite her clearly making up lies that could have ended my career! Left sharpish after that!

MandaraSugar Thu 08-Feb-18 12:55:50

hollowtree that's the sort of example I could imagine happening at the place i'm in. Big life event...nobody mentions it when you return.

Jaygee61 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:58:23

I've left 2 jobs because of the people. The last one was because the President was a racist, narcissistic, lunatic who would go on 4 hour long rants or fire people without reason or warning. Those who didn't leave as soon as they could, like me, were such sycophantic suck ups that you couldn't trust them or work with them.

Were you working for Donald Trump?

Glenscoconut Thu 08-Feb-18 12:58:57

Oh god OP my old office was like this.

I started and no one spoke to anyone, I had to answer the phone and I was pretty much whispering because I was so paranoid about being too loud. Nobody said hello or goodbye and they didn't care for any idle chit-chat. I understand not everyone wants to be friendly with colleagues but this was something else. If you spoke to someone they would look at you like you had suggested committing a murder. It made me start dreading work because I felt so lonely and isolated.

The big turn around happened when they decided to make the office open plan. My new seat was right next to the entrance. Every time someone walked in I gave them a cheery Good Morning. To begin I was ignored but eventually, I had people coming in and saying it first. I noticed people would hover around me in the kitchen and seemed happy to chat, but only if I spoke first. I actually made a friend I obviously can't say this in future interviews but it's my biggest achievement whilst I was doing that role grin.

Even with people talking to me, it was the most bizarre place to work. I was the only female in the office too, which was weird. I handed my notice in told my manager that the office environment was awful. He tried to pay me more to stay because I had been 'such a positive influence on everyone' sorry but no I was done!

If you can leave OP. Life's too short to be miserable at work.

JaneEyre70 Thu 08-Feb-18 13:01:18

I left a much loved job in a care home due to a few other members of staff. How they ever got employed there was beyond me, and I didn't want to work for a company that took whoever walked in through the door as they were too desperate for staff not to.

pinkie1982 Thu 08-Feb-18 13:02:12

Yes, I was in my lkast job for 14 years. I knew it was bad for arguments within the office but I seemed to get on with everyone and just pootled along, being one of the longest serving staff there. I liked my job and knew it inside out. I then went on maternity leave for 9 months and when I returned I just saw the evil side of some people, bullying going on. It had always happened but I think the time off made me realise just how bad it was. I confronted it with senior management, one of whom was the bully (my line manager) and not long after that I left as they just ignored my meeting with them.

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