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Am I really intimidated by this ridiculous couple?

(295 Posts)
smallishi Thu 08-Feb-18 10:06:32

The ridiculous couple are my neighbours and the back story is that we have not been speaking for about 18 months because we objected to planning permission for their extension, and honestly had good reason to. They had to make a very slight/small change but their extension is going ahead which is fine with us. We no longer have their small 2nd window looking straight into our kitchen.

Previous to that we had only known them for a year as that was when we both moved into our houses and we were on friendly terms.

So things are resolved, though we are no longer on friendly terms (at their request - they asked us never to contact them again). And now every single time the husband sees me - whether it's in front of our houses or in town, he stares and holds his gaze on me until I am out of sight.

He is my age, short, balding the type of man with a very inflated sense of importance/huge ego. He is slight in build so I can't believe he thinks he is giving me a physically intimidating stare. Perhaps he thinks he is somehow psyching me out? I don't know, but I don't like it. It's always when I with my children, and I never stare back. Maybe I should? How can I get a grip on this ridiculous situation and not let it bother me?

The wife does the same, though I see her much less so it's his behaviour that I notice more. They also do things like snigger together if they are outside their house when I am coming or going.

It feels like playground bullying and I can't get my head around how/why adults would behave like this. It's making me feel awful, I know it shouldn't affect me as it's so stupid but it does and I need to get a grip.

Snowydaysarehere Thu 08-Feb-18 10:07:35

Middle finger would be my angle.
With a smile!!

Blackteadrinker77 Thu 08-Feb-18 10:09:19

Just put a big smile on your face and say hi

Repeat every time they do it and they'll either say hello back or they'll stop staring.

youngestisapsycho Thu 08-Feb-18 10:10:12

I'm with snowy... middle finger and mouth 'fuck you' if the kids are in ear shot!

Youshallnotpass Thu 08-Feb-18 10:10:13

^^ as above, flip him off with a big cheery grin

Timefortea99 Thu 08-Feb-18 10:10:36

Ignore them. Smile knowingly and put them out of your thought. They are sad little nincompoops.

whifflesqueak Thu 08-Feb-18 10:11:14

Yes, a big cheerful smile is the best response.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Thu 08-Feb-18 10:11:28

Im with black

Big smile

Massive hello

Itll really freak them out

Ginslinger Thu 08-Feb-18 10:11:31

Kill them with kindness - they will hate it. Big cheery smile and say hello whenever they look at you. If they're giggling then be really pleasant and say how lovely it is to see happy people and it's really brightened up your day. They will have no clue what to do.

Great sympathy to you - bullying is crap flowers

Cheekyandfreaky Thu 08-Feb-18 10:13:04

Ridiculous waving and smiling. They sound like pricks.

CoraPirbright Thu 08-Feb-18 10:13:11

A beaming smile and a cheery wave will get right up their noses.

Or you could trill “we won ha ha” and flick the V’s. Or perhaps not, but you could think this internally which might make you feel better? They are clearly dipshits.

Ohforfoxsakereturns Thu 08-Feb-18 10:13:22

Absolutely! Big smile, “MOOORNIIING”

Walk away.

Will wind them up a treat 😄

Willow2017 Thu 08-Feb-18 10:14:33

Telling them to "grow the fuck up your 'hard stare' is hilariously pathetic." might shock them into realising they are acting like school kids?

If you have kids with you point and say "oh look x is doing that funny staring thing again. I think he thinks its intimidating dont you? Such silly behaviour for an adult." Then laugh. If he realises its not working ( and you all think he is ridiculous) he will get bored/embarassed and stop.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 08-Feb-18 10:14:50

Please do a big smile !!!!!!

They will soon stop glaring at you

thirstyformore Thu 08-Feb-18 10:14:56

Yep. A big smile and hello. They'll hate it!

Cacofonix Thu 08-Feb-18 10:17:16

Oh no what a couple of pricks. angry

I think the smile and cheery hello is the best way forward. Try and look like they aren't bothering you/on your radar.

GreatDuckCookery Thu 08-Feb-18 10:18:16

I would smile too. Easier said than done when someone is trying to intimidate you but you've done nothing wrong. They sound like loons.

FizzyGreenWater Thu 08-Feb-18 10:18:20

Oh yes, easy way to solve this.

'Hi!!! Lovely morning isn't it!'

Or, if through window, HUGE grin and big wave.

He'll instantly stop.

If outside and giggling

'Ha ha, hello! Oh it's nice to see you two with smiles on your faces again. Lovely day isn't it! Say helllo kiddies...' etc.

64BooLane Thu 08-Feb-18 10:18:58

Yeah, don't stare back but do a cheery wave with a big confident smile.

If you only ever avoid their eyes in a dignified way they'll just see it as evidence they're in the right.

Eltonjohnssyrup Thu 08-Feb-18 10:19:00

Big smile; wave. 'Hello, hope the building works coming on okay, lovely begonias, see ya!'

FizzyGreenWater Thu 08-Feb-18 10:19:20

Oh and yes they are ridiculous people - nothing to be intimidated by, honestly. Really silly!

64BooLane Thu 08-Feb-18 10:19:27

X-post with a million people grin

ohfortuna Thu 08-Feb-18 10:19:49

Do the smile don't stoop to their level they are pitiful

Cismyfatarse Thu 08-Feb-18 10:20:08

We had something similar but tiny community (and I had to teach his kids). We did as suggested - smiled, waved, shouted out Christmas greetings across the street. Not a peep out of them since.

SandAndSea Thu 08-Feb-18 10:20:18

I know I'd feel awful too, OP.

Could you shout out, "Sorry, did you say something?" Use an assertive voice. I doubt they'd have much of a reply.

If it's just the husband, know that he's a pathetic little squirt of a man to try to intimidate you like that.

I would also use my imagination to see them in various ridiculous poses and costumes - anything to diffuse it in my mind.

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