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AIBU to think my gp won't call social services over this?!

(34 Posts)
whydothesethingsseemtohappen Wed 07-Feb-18 16:57:14

My 5 year old has had trouble with bleeding from her bottom when she goes to the toilet - we have assumed it has been a cut from constipation or something and treated her accordingly for that. She is otherwise healthy other than being a little small.

However, it has been 6-8 weeks now and the last day or two he amount of blood ha been more so that it's not just when she wipes it's actually on her knickers so I have made a doctors appointment tomorrow because I feel like I've done what I can do and would like advice - I thought I was being pretty reasonable.

I mentioned it to my mil today who immediately told me that if I did hat social services would be called and I'd be accused of abuse?! Especially as my daughter is homeschooled.

She is NOT being abused she is with me pretty much all day everyday this is simply not a possibility.

I know I have to take her to the doctor I can't leave her randomly bleeding ffs I'm not sure what my mil would suggest - but I'm having panic attacks now about the whole thing.

I'm not unreasonable to think that my MIL is being over sensitive am I?

We have never had any other kind of problems my daughter has never been injured in any way we have never had social services involved with our family.

IANBU am I?

LEMtheoriginal Wed 07-Feb-18 16:59:10

Your MIL is batshit!! Your dd could be unwell take her to the dd ffs

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Wed 07-Feb-18 17:00:05

YANBU! Failing to take her to the GP for sustained rectal bleeding would be neglect, your MIL seems to be placing more value on other people's potential opinions than your DD's health sad

mommybear1 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:02

YANBU she needs medical help it could well be something that will clear up quickly with treatment such as piles. Go to the appointment please your DD needs to see a medical professional- good luck I hope DD is better soon thanks

GhostWriter666 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:08

I won't lie they will ask a LOT of questions. My dd bits bled after a fall and they asked lots of questions and repeated the same questions (obviously to try trip up any lies )

But at the end of the day it's a child's well fare and you have a duty to your dd to get her checked out. Is she constipated? Could she have piles?

WhoWants2Know Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:14

Your daughter can't be the first child they've seen who gets constipated and bleeds from her backside. I can't see any reason why the GP would assume there is abuse occurring.

madein1995 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:30

I wouldn't think they'd go to social services. I've done safeguarding training, and the answer is not to ignore but also not go ott either, as there could be an innocent explanation. I'm not a Dr but I imagine he would notice, and perhaps put a little note on the system. So that if you were taking dd to hospital etc all the time (you're not) and presenting abuse systems, that could be the piece to join the puzzle. It's just inter agency working to make sure no child slips the cracks as did in Victoria Climbie's case. It's absolutely not used to penalise parents who have done nothing wrong

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:44

My DS had some bleeding years ago, although it was only a couple of times and my gp was excellent. He just examined DS and said it was probably from constipation. Don't listen to MiL!

whydothesethingsseemtohappen Wed 07-Feb-18 17:01:45

I am certainly going to take her to the gp - as I say I had thought it was a cut but I don't see how that can have gone on for this long .

dizzy174 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:03:40

how does mil feel about you home schooling? you have nothing to fear at all - just your mil.

whydothesethingsseemtohappen Wed 07-Feb-18 17:05:18

Dizzy - I think she thinks I'm total insane 😄 but at the same time she is pretty supportive in general we actually get along pretty well which is why I tend to take notice of what she says! But this has thrown me!

Upsidedownandinsideout Wed 07-Feb-18 17:05:24

We had the same thing with DS, it was absolutely fine (in his case, was a fissure plus a fungal infection - gross as this sounds, there was v little to be seen externally, which is how it got missed first time) so just needed extra treatment. Ignoring anal bleeding in a child sounds way more likely to get SS involved in my opinion!

Dancingfairy Wed 07-Feb-18 17:06:32

No I had to take my dd for something similar although the go asked if anyone had touched her! He didn't report it. Dd is with me 24/7 but like I said wasn't reported. I am sure people love to scare others my mum once said the school would report me to ss for my child wearing odd socks.

Iwillstartagainonmonday Wed 07-Feb-18 17:07:04

Erm. You'd be more at risk of ss getting involved if you didnt take her. (something to do with not seeking medical attention).

Please don't be worried. Your MIL is being silly.

EB123 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:07:58

There should be no issue. Does mil think that you should just leave it?!

I home ed too btw!

youngnomore Wed 07-Feb-18 17:08:11

Who cares if ss is called. Your dd is bleeding. She needs to be seen ASAP.

Auntpetunia2015 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:08:52

My money is on an anal fissure my DS had one and my dad used to have them cream helped heal them.

LostMyBaubles Wed 07-Feb-18 17:10:59

My son has been bleeding very very badly.

Turns out he had an anal fissure.

No one ever mentioned anything about ss.

Took him to a+e as he was starting to bleed a lot and lethargic.

Iwillstartagainonmonday Wed 07-Feb-18 17:11:44

Your daughter can't be the first child they've seen who gets constipated and bleeds from her backside

Definitely not. DS suffers from UTIs and often gets a sore 'winkle' (his word not mine) and sometimes bleeds. We took him to the GPs once and the GP didnt even bat an eye lid. GP "can I have a look?". Took me a minute to work out he actually meant a proper look. blush Had a look, special cream provided and problem sorted.

Basically OP, remind MIL that bums and other relevant private parts are just another part of the anatomy to medical staff.

whydothesethingsseemtohappen Wed 07-Feb-18 17:19:11

Ok thanks She defiantly isn't going to hospital all the time or anything like that - she has only ever been once and that was from falling over at nursery when she was 2 and cutting her head open.

I will take her tomorrow smile

MyMorningHasBroken Wed 07-Feb-18 17:21:04

Take her back. There must be a reason for it and it could be serious. Drs see patients blood from this area every day from piles to bowel problems. Don't listen to your MIL - that's ridiculous. I have two girls who have both had bleeding from the vagina and I've had to take to the GP. (thrush + lots of scratching ect)

Amber0685 Wed 07-Feb-18 17:31:39

I honestly thought you were going to say would ss be called as you had waited 6-8 weeks. Not because of possible abuse! Definately take her.

crunchymint Wed 07-Feb-18 17:44:01

SS would only be called if there were signs of sexual abuse e.g bruising round the anus sign of damage. Bleeding from the bottom can be for a number of reasons. The GP will look for medical reasons, unless there are other signs of sexual abuse.

whydothesethingsseemtohappen Wed 07-Feb-18 17:44:59

Thanks crunchy no there's nothing like that I think I just need to take less notice of MILsmile

mumsiedarlingrevolta Wed 07-Feb-18 17:45:45

My DS had a bit of constipation when very little and excema in his bottom-which led to pain and bleeding which led to him not wanting to poo.
Vicious cycle-get it nipped in the bud-I'm sure GP is the right thing to do!

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