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To be put off after first date?

(36 Posts)
CarPullTunnel Wed 07-Feb-18 15:32:04

Met at a restaurant. We'd booked a table so are asked to sit at the bar while table is prepared. This bloke then starts rummaging around in his pockets to see how many drinks he can afford. He then starts adding up loose change at the bar. So embarrassing.

As we were eating he said "well, what do you think?"

I said "it's nice, good food" so he said "not that! Me! What do you reckon?" He then presented himself with his arms. How the fuck are you meant to reply to that??

"Yeah you're amazing, good job!"
"You're a bit shit to be honest, I was hoping for better" ??!

SugarPlumFerry Wed 07-Feb-18 15:34:15

grin Well how DID you respond?

Blankuser1992 Wed 07-Feb-18 15:34:47

He either has self esteem issues or money issues

Send him a text saying it’s not going to work out and if he gets real arsey etc at least you’ll
Know he isn’t your type etc

ChasedByBees Wed 07-Feb-18 15:35:02

Bless him grin

That is exactly the point of first dates though. I take it there won’t be a second!

ShatnersWig Wed 07-Feb-18 15:35:07

You're allowed to feel however you wish about someone after a first date and use that to decide if you wish to see them again or not.

Based on your posting, I'd say not.

peachypetite Wed 07-Feb-18 15:35:53

Meh. Just don't see him again, not a big deal.

sexnotgender Wed 07-Feb-18 15:36:12

He sounds like quite the catch!

hibbledibble Wed 07-Feb-18 15:36:26

Lol. Was that said tongue in cheek?

You are under no obligation to go in a second date.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 07-Feb-18 15:36:38

The money was a bit gauche but unless he’s tight it wouldn’t trouble me too much, but if you didn’t click in conversation then that’d be it for me really. Some people might find him funny or endearing, you didn’t. No ones fault.

Bananalanacake Wed 07-Feb-18 15:37:00

So who paid for the meal if he was looking for change.

FiveLittlePigs Wed 07-Feb-18 15:37:22

Think I might have "nipped to the loo" and kept walking at that stage!

Wellfuckmeinbothears Wed 07-Feb-18 15:37:25

Oh crikey!

The counting change at the bar would put me off but then I suppose it shows he's very open about finances?! The need for affirmation was a bit unnecessary...couldn't he have just asked if you fancied a second date?!

What did you think of him? Would you like to see him again?

yupbeenthere Wed 07-Feb-18 15:37:42

Yuk. That would put me off too. People generally try to make a good impression on a first date so that was probably him on his best behaviour. It's likely to be all downhill from there.

kissmethere Wed 07-Feb-18 15:37:47

Did you say "ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies"
Doesn't sound great does he?

FreudianSlurp Wed 07-Feb-18 15:38:33

It was a first date, and you weren't suited to each other. Am I missing something here or does that not happen on thousands of first dates?

PinkHeart5914 Wed 07-Feb-18 15:39:07

Honestly I know I will sound shallow saying this but the seeing how many drinks he could afford and adding up lose change, would of had me losing interest tbh.

Then asking me what I thought would of had me a bit hmm i mean I think most people can tell if someone thinks that they are hot so no need to be all cringe and ask.

You also have the right to not see anybody you don’t want to again, that can be for any reason you like

hellsbellsmelons Wed 07-Feb-18 15:40:49

I would say.
I reckon you might make someone happy one day.
Not sure that person is me as it's only date 1.

mindutopia Wed 07-Feb-18 15:41:21

Oh, bless him. But yes, it's fine to be put off after the first date. Trust your gut. Doesn't sound like he's the one for you.

I once went on a date with a guy (many, many years ago now) who when I turned up at his flat to meet him as we were going to walk to the restaurant from there, he proceeded to explain to me that he was vegan (not the problem at all, I was vegetarian myself) and his diet consisted mostly of brown rice. He even showed me his hot plate and pot where he cooks his daily serving of brown rice. Okay. We went to dinner. He ate only pineapple fried rice. Then proceeded to announce when the bill came that he left his wallet at home and asked if I could pay for us both. I'm pretty sure he just used me to get one meal's worth of posh rice. Needless to say, we didn't have a 2nd date.

crackerjacket Wed 07-Feb-18 15:42:29

Is he hot?

crackerjacket Wed 07-Feb-18 15:42:46

Good username btw

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 07-Feb-18 15:43:47

he just used me to get one meals worth of posh rice sorry but grin

expatinscotland Wed 07-Feb-18 15:47:39

'Then proceeded to announce when the bill came that he left his wallet at home and asked if I could pay for us both.'

He's lucky he was out with you. I had two guys try this. I paid for my food and left them there.

inmyshoos Wed 07-Feb-18 15:52:38

Now having been on my first date in years recently I have learned not to be too put off at first. However there are definitely deal breakers. The one thing would have been a deal breaker for me personally.

Recently I went on a date, met for coffee, thought he was just ok but nice enough to meet again to get the whole dating thing up and running. 2 months on I like him much more than I thought I might.

Good luck op. There will be someone along soon who floats your boat wink

UnimaginativeNameChange1 Wed 07-Feb-18 15:52:44

Is he hot?

^ the crucial question right there. You don't fancy him for a boyfriend, but is he worth using for sex?

inmyshoos Wed 07-Feb-18 15:53:31

money not one

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