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Other people’s kids at soft play

(160 Posts)
InMemoryOfSleep Wed 07-Feb-18 14:32:38

I took DS aged 21 months to a new toddlers-only soft play this morning, and honestly some of the other kids there have put me off going again! There was one large boy who had taken possession of a truck and was using it to whack every other toy in range, and another girl who screamed around her dummy at any child who dared go near the kitchen she had declared her domain. It makes me so sad to see my quiet little guy, who’s fascinated by other kids and just working out how to play and interact with others, pushed around by these vile kids. And their parents just sit on their phones while I’m gritting my teeth trying to nicely suggest their shrieking offspring share their toys. angry. Any suggestions for handling it in the future, other than just don’t go?!

JJPP123 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:34:21

Don't call them vile? Children need to learn what's socially acceptable by being around other children. Some are more rowdy than others, it doesn't make them awful children.

Deshasafraisy Wed 07-Feb-18 14:34:38

Other people’s kids full stop. In fact. Other people. Full stop. 😡

RadioGaGoo Wed 07-Feb-18 14:36:38

Your 'quiet little guy' and those 'vile kids'. Right.

HildaZelda Wed 07-Feb-18 14:36:38

I'm with @Deshasafraisy on this one. I've had 'people' up to here recently!

MrsHathaway Wed 07-Feb-18 14:37:33

I'm at soft play right now.

Early afternoon is better than morning, tends to be quieter. Many people go home for lunch so arriving at 11.30 can be clever.

I avoided soft play for a good year or so when my son was at his most vulnerable - wanting to join in but not quite big enough. Once he turned 4 he's comfortably away from the baby area and big enough to enjoy the "big boy" area safely, particularly during school hours.

formerbabe Wed 07-Feb-18 14:37:55

Oh just wait op...one day your quiet, wide eyed little guy will be the truck wielding monster grin

Piffle11 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:38:11

Try and work out when the quietest time is: I took my DS to one at the weekend as soon as they opened ... it was reasonably quiet but by lunchtime it was packed. This one did full meals and I think a lot of people were planning on having their lunch as their kids played. Also I've found that some are better than others - there was one my son favoured because of a particular slide, but I hated going! Maybe you could try another one?

InMemoryOfSleep Wed 07-Feb-18 14:39:13

@RadioGaGoo I mean I don’t know how else to describe him - he’s not old enough to have hit the terrible twos yet so I get that some of the rowdy behaviour is still to come, but he is naturally a quieter child. And their behaviour was vile - no way would I allow DS to do what they were doing, and no way would I not supervise my child - especially if they were bigger than most of the other tots there.

Rachie1973 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:39:31

Its soft play. You learn to live with it. As for the Mums on the phones.... <yawn>

kaytee87 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:39:44

Is this a wind up?

Vile kids? They're toddlers. What's the girls dummy got to do with it?

Rachie1973 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:41:14

InMemoryOfSleep
no way would I not supervise my child

Really? You have no intention of ever letting your child play independently in a soft play area without hanging onto your shirt tails?

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts Wed 07-Feb-18 14:41:25

Toddlers dont like sharing. Yes the parents should be interacting with their children but some people are inconsiderate twats.

It isnt the childrens fault their parents arent showing them how to behave socially. So i think you are being quite nasty calling the children vile.

There must be more toys than that truck and kitchen that your child could play with.

Fitzsimmons Wed 07-Feb-18 14:43:25

Oh dear. My two year old shrieks at other children at soft play centres when other children come into "her" space. She's certainly not vile. She's a normal two year old. I do supervise her and tell her to take turns but she still does it. She's still learning. Your DS will probably do the same in a few months.

InMemoryOfSleep Wed 07-Feb-18 14:43:27

@Rachie1973 there’s a middle ground between hovering and not even glancing their way- their parents literally didn’t even look over to check on them, I only knew who belonged to who when they shouted for Mum or Dad.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 07-Feb-18 14:43:35

Oh are you one of them. My little darling is a saint. Everyone else's kids are brats.hmm

IHATEPeppaPig Wed 07-Feb-18 14:43:55

They are toddlers, this is how they learn interaction - granted, I wouldn't allow my child to break things and try my best to get her to share but they are still so little, they don't understand sharing, no matter how hard you try teaching them.

When the terrible 2s kick in, come back and let us know how the sharing and quiet play is going.

Rachie1973 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:43:57

kaytee87

Vile kids? They're toddlers. What's the girls dummy got to do with it?

Can't display superiority at parenting if the other child hasn't got a snotty, saliva ridden dummy.

IHATEPeppaPig Wed 07-Feb-18 14:48:06

And anyway, are you meant to be shadowing them at soft play?! I interact with my child but I don't follow her round - I go and play when she requests it, otherwise I'm drinking coffee wishing it were wine.

Rachie1973 Wed 07-Feb-18 14:49:50

IHATEPeppaPig
otherwise I'm drinking coffee wishing it were wine.

I'll buy you a hip flask smile

formerbabe Wed 07-Feb-18 14:50:32

And anyway, are you meant to be shadowing them at soft play?!

Depends on their age. Under 3...I think they need supervision, especially if it's very busy.

InMemoryOfSleep Wed 07-Feb-18 14:50:47

I know toddlers are learning, and I know the terrible twos are terrible, but that surely doesn’t mean you just chuck all your boundaries out the window and let them do what they want? The behaviour of a couple of kids made the session really unpleasant for everyone.

InMemoryOfSleep Wed 07-Feb-18 14:52:36

@IHATEPeppaPig I was just sat on the floor nearby and DS was motoring over to me now and then, and I was playing with him when he wanted. I get that you wouldn’t do this as they get a bit older (he’s not even two) but at least keep a bit of an eye on them?

forfuxache Wed 07-Feb-18 14:56:55

OP, soft play is the seventh circle of hell. Really. I hate it.

Either go when it's really quiet (first thing in the week usually) or avoid until your child is older. I've taken DD precisely twice. She's 22 months, and fairly hardy and steady on her feet. I'm by no means a helicopter mum but I was fed up of her getting walloped all the time and with parents who just let their older children smash around the under 3s area. If a 2 year old gets knocked over by another 2 year old, fair enough it happens. When the kid doing the knocking over if 4/5, then that's not on. Fucking lazy, that's all it is.

IWouldLikeToKnow Wed 07-Feb-18 14:57:25

They're toddlers. They don't easily share. They also don't play together and properly interact at this age. It's 3/4 before you see them actually interacting and playing together. Prior to that it's more parallel playing - playing alongside others. Soft play can be a mine field. There are all types of kids and all types of parents. If it's that bad for you just don't go. My 3 yr old has always been on the wilder side of normal so I'll only go when I know it's quieter. I have to constantly supervise him and I don't like it when there are too many about.

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