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AIBU?

Advice needed

56 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:11

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and we have decided that we would like to try for a baby but I'm on the mini pill and have been for 3 years I have no idea what my fertility is like before I went on the pill my periods where regular as clockwork and I could get it timed right down to the day but what I would like to know is how long it took to get pregnant after you stopped taking the pill I know it might take me a while and I have told my boyfriend that it might not happen first time. This is a first baby for both of us. Please be nice and not judgemental.

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araiwa · 07/02/2018 12:12

how long is a piece of string?

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Mrsdraper1 · 07/02/2018 12:13

Everyone is different. For some people it is straight away, for others it takes a few months.

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19lottie82 · 07/02/2018 12:13

Everyone is different, so someone else’s experience prob won’t be the same as yours.

And I’m not judging, but six months doesn’t seem long at all to start trying for a baby? What’s the rush?

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:14

Mrsdraper1 thank you I realise everyone is different.

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Digitalash · 07/02/2018 12:15

I think you are crazy to try for a baby after 6 months tbh.
But thats not what you asked, in answer to your question about 6 weeks but i understand im extremely lucky and its not like that for everyone.

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PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 07/02/2018 12:15

I stopped taking the pill due to headaches and fell pregnant immediately. Apparently I get pregnant at the drop of a hat (or knickers Grin)

Everyone is different, what will be will be.

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:15

19lottie82 thank you I guess I won't really know until we try. We thought I was pregnant and then it turned out I wasn't which was a bit heart breaking and after that we decided that we would like to try.

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:18

Digitalash I might be crazy but it's something we both want and I really don't know how long it will take but thank you for your answer.

Haha Putthebunnybackinthebox thank you for your answer. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happenes.

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:19

I'm not getting my hopes up that it will happen straight away i'm trying to be realistic about it I know that it could take a while.

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VladmirsPoutine · 07/02/2018 12:20

Everyone is different. It might take a few weeks up to a few years. You might find you require clinical intervention. Who knows. But trying for a baby with a man you've been with for 6months is madness. But as it's been said; we are all different.

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Cath2907 · 07/02/2018 12:22

Some people fall in first 4 - 6 weeks. Some people can take many months for their cycles to get back to normal. When I had my coil it took 18 months for me to get anything remotely looking like a cycle and a further 6 months to then get pregnant. Sadly I lost the first pregnancy at 12 weeks and it took another 3 months to get pregnant with DD. So all in all 2.5yrs to get a sticky bean and over 3 years to get a baby to take home!

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TimesNewRoman · 07/02/2018 12:25

For me it was approx 1 year and we were both around 30. But yeah everyone is different, for some people it can happen on the first try, others it's a long haul. Good luck.
(I see the "please be nice and not judgemental" went well lol)

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Karigan1 · 07/02/2018 12:29

Hey, nobody can answer your question as it depends on your body. There are things you can do immediately however to help. First start taking some form of trying to conceive multi vitamin. Second take 300mg of magnesium.

Part of what the pill does is lower progesterone without which you can’t have a pregnancy.

Once you come off it might take 6 months for your body to return to normal fertile state or it could happen right away. Average seems to be 2 to 3 months.

When you get your first proper period will be the first sign you’re working again HOWEVER that follows ovulation so if you happen to get pregnant before then you might not know.

First bleed after stopping pill is not a real
period but a hormone withdrawal bleed.

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:30

VladmirsPutin thank you I realise that it sounds crazy right now it's just an idea we haven't yet set anything in stone we are still thinking about when to start trying at the minute I'm still on my pill.

Cath2907* thank you I am sorry you lost your first baby. That's what I'm thinking that it may not happen very quickly it might take a while to happen.

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Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 12:31

6 months and planning a baby?

Wow.

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ShutYoFace · 07/02/2018 12:32

The only sensible advice you need is to not even think of getting pregnant with a boyfriend of six months. I can pretty much guarantee that if you do you'll be luck to last that long as a couple after the baby is born, if you even get that far.

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StarkintheSouth · 07/02/2018 12:33

One friend of mine got pregnant straight away. She'd been on the pill for around fifteen years, came off it and fell pregnant straight away. Another friend who'd been on it for similar amount of time took 4 or 5 months. Another friend it took years and they had IVF. I could go on but as you could see it depends on the person. I read in one of my pregnancy books that you should allow a year if you have been on the pill before you seriously panic, but again, I guess it depends in the person. Good luck OP.

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Mybabystolemysanity · 07/02/2018 12:34

As others have said, it depends on your body and make sure you're taking folic acid.

Do think carefully about having a baby six months into a relationship and not being married I'd you are not completely financially independent of your partner and willing and able to be a single parent. Nothing prepares you for the upheaval and strain on a relationship having a baby causes. We were shocked and had been together 9 years when DD arrived.

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Lastoftheusernames · 07/02/2018 12:38

No one can really tell you how long it will take. There are lots of factors involved.

This is not being judgemental - just offering some advice. 6 months into relationship you are still in the honeymoon period and everything is lovely. It's difficult to know what might happen further down the line. Please think carefully about what it will mean for you and the child, should one come along, if things don't work out.

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WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 07/02/2018 12:39

Op you sound lovely. As you can see it varies too much to be able to give you a concrete answer. Your replies on this thread show grace and patience. Good luck!

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hopingandprayingthistime · 07/02/2018 12:39

I came off the pill in January 2016 tried very on and off for a year (DH’s heart not really in it at first) then slightly more seriously from January 2017. Pregnant in August 2017 (ended in miscarriage). Pregnant again in November and so far so good but still relatively early days so just trying to stay hopeful as my name suggests! I also have friends who got pregnant immediately after coming off the pill (like, first week)! Good luck OP x

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ShutYoFace · 07/02/2018 12:41

Op you sound lovely

in what way does she sound lovely? Confused I mean, she may well be, but there is nothing here to suggest it.

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Mrsdraper1 · 07/02/2018 12:42

Mrsdraper1 thank you I realise everyone is different.
But they are and everyone else is telling you the same thing. I wasn't being snippy, it's true. No one can tell you how long it will take

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/02/2018 12:43

TimesNewRoman thank you for your answer and no lol the whole be nice not judgemental didn't go very well lol but hey it is AIBU I expect nothing less but this isn't something that we are doing on a whim this is something that we have thought about and discussed and we are going in to this with our eyes wide open. I have seen 2 of my aunties go through fertility treatment and it never worked for one of them and I seen my sister get the ball rolling on fertility treatment because she has PCOS and before she started any treatment she found out she was pregnant so I am fully aware how difficult it could be to get pregnant I know it's not an easy thing.

Karigan1 thank you so much for your very helpful answer I will start doing that to get myself ready for when we start. Thank you.

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Handsfull13 · 07/02/2018 12:43

I got lucky and fell pregnant within the first few months of coming off the pill.
To be honest I feel like previous posters that 6 months is quite early to be trying.
Are you living together? I know it may take a while to get pregnant but it also might only take a month. Are you ready if that happens?
A baby changes a whole relationship and you find out new stuff about your partner from it. At 6 months you are still finding about each other to add a baby it might be too much.
I was with my partner 5 year before trying and pregnancy and both added some stress to us which luckily we had a strong enough foundation to work through it.

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