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To not go into work again

(20 Posts)
RockingLobstering Wed 07-Feb-18 08:02:16

Long story short, had hyperemisis for the majority of the pregnancy so far.
Currently 15 weeks.
Got sent home Monday as couldn't stop being sick.
Called in sick Tuesday as I had been up all night.
Managed to keep one sandwich down since Sunday.
Doctors won't do anything until I'm more dehydrated.
Had another rough night and feel absolutely exhausted. Yet feel as though I'm taking the piss by calling in sick again.
I know my boss will be pissed off, but I would seriously struggle going in today.

Just dreading making the phone call in.

AIBU to ring in sick again? I've had about 6 weeks off since the start of the pregnancy, none paid other than SSP.

Weloveoptimus Wed 07-Feb-18 08:06:49

Be kind to yourself. Ring in.

RockingLobstering Wed 07-Feb-18 08:07:51

*the 6 weeks was not in one period , and looking back on dates it works out to more like 4 weeks. I was still trying to go back during this and everytime I did I overworked myself and made it worse, ending up back in hospital again

LizzieSiddal Wed 07-Feb-18 08:09:27

Of course you shoulnt go in.

It’s not your fault. Ring in sick.

user1498854363 Wed 07-Feb-18 08:13:07

Its frustrating when people call in sick, but it sounds like you ARE sick, and unable to work. Most people are ok with genuine sickness. Sickness policies are generally around those taking the piss eg take Fridays off to go drinking or always sick on a Monday after a busy weekend drinking... you are genuinely unwell. Do you need to consider how to manage your pregnancy and wellbeing with work? Do u have advice from union? HR? Others?
Maybe consider what you can do work wise? Be honest with yr employer (if that’s possible, if they supportive..)

Congratulations 😀

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Wed 07-Feb-18 08:15:27

You are sick, so completely reasonable to phone in sick.

Going forward, I would go back to your GP (or see another GP) as anti nausea medicines can be given in pregnancy, even if you aren't dehydrated. You need to be able to function and eat.

JustVent Wed 07-Feb-18 08:15:38

I had ‘normal’ morning sickness with my third pregnancy (the first two were a breeze) and it was hell. I kept thinking about my good friend who had HG, and would wonder how she functioned at all.

I feel so, so sorry for someone with your condition. If your boss is annoyed it’s because they don’t understand and not trying to empathise. That’s not you’re fault.
Call in sick, you are - quite literally - very sick.

I hope it passes soon.

rocketgirl22 Wed 07-Feb-18 08:29:33

Get someone else to call in for you.

It is not your fault.

Please phone in sick, then phone your GP to get a prescription for anti- sickness meds.

If he won't give it, speak to another GP that will.

There is help available, please take it.

The go and join the hypertensives board on here smile

RockingLobstering Wed 07-Feb-18 08:35:05

Thank you all so much, think I just needed reassurance that I'm not taking the p.
Have phoned in sick now, will call GP again but I've got so many anti sickness meds already so not too sure what else there is!

seizethecuttlefish Wed 07-Feb-18 08:38:01

See another dr! For a start. You should be on meds. There is an HG thread, which is brilliant. Waiting for you to be dehydrated is old fashioned nonsense.
As someone with HG, my advice is stay home. Overdoing it can make you so much worse. I've been off work for an age and it doesn't look like I'll be going back before baby comes. Hopefully you're lucky and it tails off, mine did with my first. The one thing it has made me realise is that my work don't really care a toss about me. I felt so guilty at first but after months with no contact from them, I realise they don't give a rats ar$e.
Health first.

NotReadyToMove Wed 07-Feb-18 08:40:51

everytime I did I overworked myself and made it worse, ending up back in hospital again

That is telling you what you need to do.
By pushing yourself more, you will end up off sick more.
Take the time to recover and don’t go back until you are fully well rather than the ‘i Think I will be able to cope’ state you have been in when you wet back to work.
Ime, Whilst anti sickness meds’ are great, they dint replace REST. You need a lot of rest, days wo doing anything at all. And if you already have children, days with y Ur DH/DP fully taking over so that you have very little to do. Because by resting NOW, you will be able to do much more AFTER.

TwentySevenTrillion Wed 07-Feb-18 08:41:26

Make sure your employers are marking this down as the same "illness". Otherwise you may be being penalised for going on on the odd days in between - it basically re-starts the 3 days of zero SSP.

One long sickness would only have 3 days zero pay and then SSP kicks in. Going in/back off/in/back off may make some payroll administrator/system restart the 3 days zero pay each time. Definitely worth a chat. And emphasising it is pregnancy related.

flowers hope you feel better soon

ChocolateWombat Wed 07-Feb-18 08:46:13

I would ring in. If it makes you feel better about ringing, when you ring, say you are trying to get an appointment with the doctor about it. Apologise once and leave it at that.

You are ill. Therefore you shouldn't be in work. You and your baby need to be your priority. Yes,nits annoying for other people, but this stuff comes with pregnancy and of course women must have babies.

How long have you worked there? Is there an HR dept?
When you do return, can you arrange for a meeting so you can explain the condition you are facing and tell them what the a doctor has suggested about how you cope? Sometimes, being clear and specific helps work to cope with it all and that will help you cope and not feel so dreadful. Again, I'd say always apologise once for the inconvenience, but don't grovel - you haven't done anything wrong.

ChocolateWombat Wed 07-Feb-18 08:53:00

Yes, make sure every time that you are clear this is pregnancy related and each time it is the same thing, not something different.

When you return, go and ask the relevant person if these incidents are being logged as individual separate cases of illness or an ongoing thing. If the former, ask how you can get it all logged as the latter. Ask if they would like a letter from GP confirming HG diagnosis. It is important for workplaces to treat people correctly when they have pregnancy related illness. You are more likely to get this correct treatment if you are very clear about what the issue is and that you have seen doctors about it and it is an ongoing thing. If you are vague and they think you just have a cold or something unrelated to pregnancy, people might think you are regularly taking the odd day off here and there.
If you feel that when you phone in, people are being unpleasant or you are finding it a horrible experience, then say this too. Workplaces should not be making sick people feel guilty or pressured into coming to work. They know this and if they are doing it, it should be pointed out.

nornironlady Wed 07-Feb-18 08:56:18

I feel for you OP - I was sick for around 8 months of my pregnancy and struggled to make it to work each day. I had managers telling me to call in sick as you get no thanks - you cannot be treated unfavourably because it's pregnancy related. It doesn't sound like you are well enough to attend work. Get better soon!

Tarraleaha Wed 07-Feb-18 09:07:31

Get someone else to call in for you.
please don't. Unless you are in a coma or on an operating table, it looks terrible and completely unprofessional.

I don't agree either with posters unhappy that work hasn't contacted them during sick leave. When you read how some people get really offended when work contact them, and think it's putting them under pressure to come back, most work places will make sure they stay well away. It's up to you to contact your office, not the other way round.

Very good advice about One "sickness incident" for everything.

Tarraleaha Wed 07-Feb-18 09:08:09

xpost, have a nice rest!

WellTidy Wed 07-Feb-18 09:32:13

I had HG during my first pregnancy and it was absolutely horrendous. I struggled and struggled for the first three months, going into work and feeling just dreadful. I was regularly monitored, on drips and tried different medication. I ended up off sick from something like week 14 for the rest of my pregnancy. I spent hours on end on the bathroom floor or in bed or just sitting wherever I landed. There was no way I could have worked. It took ages to find a medication that worked, and even then it just helped, it didn't take all the symptoms away. Tell your HR person, and insist on medication. And don't let anyone fob you off with ginger biscuits or travel sickness wristbands.

AlbusPercival Wed 07-Feb-18 10:18:21

Seriously don't go back. You're ill. If you weren't pregnant but were so sick you can't eat you wouldn't even think about going in.

A very good friend who was in your situation swears by this charity, so much so she now volunteers for them. www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk call the number at the top. There are things that can help.

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