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Are you still a sahm if...

(73 Posts)
Dancingfairy Tue 06-Feb-18 19:35:42

Just looking for opinions. Are you a sahm if you are a single mother with young children but on benefits?( so the key point having no partner who is earning the money for you to stay at home) Or are you just a mother thats unemployed?? (To do with a comment my sister made)

SpiritedLondon Tue 06-Feb-18 19:39:29

Crikey this forum is “ going hard” on the whole SAHM debate at the moment. I don’t know the answer, I don’t think anyone knows the answer.

BakerBear Tue 06-Feb-18 19:41:08

Your both really

JugglingMummyof2 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:41:28

Are you a mum? Are you staying home to look after your children? If you answer yes to both then you are a SAHM.

TroubledTribble Tue 06-Feb-18 19:41:46

Good question Op, I'm wondering what the difference is.

egginacup Tue 06-Feb-18 19:41:56

I would say if you are a parent who stays at home to look after the children then yes you are a SAHP, regardless of whether you are on benefits or married to a millionaire.

zzzzz Tue 06-Feb-18 19:42:15

You don’t go out to work, have children and care for them yourself ? You are SAHP. How you pay for it is immaterial.

wowbutter Tue 06-Feb-18 19:42:24

Of course you are a stay at home mum. You are a mum who does not work, and raises her children and stays at home in lieu of paid employment.
Hi you support your choice to stay at home is irrelevant in my opinion.

Cookandbook Tue 06-Feb-18 19:42:57

You are a mum and you are at home looking after your kids so yes.
People end up as sah parents for all sorts of reasons, it's not necessarily their first choice.

BitchQueen90 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:43:16

You're both. A SAHM with a partner that works is also technically unemployed, so is also both IMO.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree Tue 06-Feb-18 19:44:03

Well yes because you’re staying at home! It’s in the name. It’s not called “supported by husband parent” it’s called stay at home parent.

Laiste Tue 06-Feb-18 19:45:08

SAHM mother to me means someone who isn't working - usually i'd assume by choice.

The phrase is usually used when it's a choice rather than a temporary situation. IMO.

If they were stay at home at the mo because they hadn't a choice i would guess they'd say something to that effect.

Gwenhwyfar Tue 06-Feb-18 19:46:16

"A SAHM with a partner that works is also technically unemployed"

Not according to the usual definition of unemployed. I think they'd be classed as inactive in an economic sense. Pensioners aren't unemployed either, nor are schoolchildren.

thUnderdog Tue 06-Feb-18 19:48:49

I would say I was unemployed if I was looking for a job. If I was intentionally at home then SAHM. It has nothing to do with being single or not in my opinion.

Tamularoom Tue 06-Feb-18 19:49:43

Yes of course thats a stay at home mum, if you are at home with your children as your "job" thats a SAHM. I think it becomes a bit of a grey area when DCs are older, hence why you can't get income support if your youngest is over age 5 because you could be expected to be searching for a job within school hours.

I am a single parent, I stay at home with my youngest as a nursery setting would be detrimental to his health (he has additional needs), I wouldn't ever refer to myself as an "unemployed mum" if someone ever asked me what I do.

JJPP123 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:50:09

Of course you are. You're a mother who stays at home, I don't think family finances have anything to do with it.

Crunched Tue 06-Feb-18 19:50:33

If you are claiming benefits, don't you have to be actively seeking work? So you are unemployed...
If you are a SAHP you are not seeking paid employment.
I feel I may have misunderstood this though looking at previous posts? Am I being a bit thick?

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree Tue 06-Feb-18 19:52:14

If you are claiming benefits, don't you have to be actively seeking work?

No. The only benefit that requires you to be actively seeking work is job seekers allowance. The clues in the name.

BitchQueen90 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:52:55

Pensioners are classed as retired and school children in full time education though.

For the record I've been both a SAHM with a working partner and a SAHM on benefits for a time when we split up.

BitchQueen90 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:54:16

Crunched no. If you are on income support you are not required to actively seek work until your youngest child is 5. This is changing under UC though.

RaininSummer Tue 06-Feb-18 19:56:00

Surely if you are looking for a job you are unemployed and if you are not and don't work and have children, then you are a SAHM.

WunWegWunDarWun Tue 06-Feb-18 19:57:10

That depends how old your children are.

SparklyMagpie Tue 06-Feb-18 19:57:30

You're a SAHP

As far as I'm concerned if you don't work and are at home with the children you are a SAHP

GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz Tue 06-Feb-18 19:58:12

@Gwenhwyfar
Neither pensioners nor schoolchildren are of working age.

PoorYorick Tue 06-Feb-18 20:05:54

Does it matter?

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