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AIBU to be devastated I can't have a child because I can't earn more than min wage

(266 Posts)
stupidshittyartsdegree Tue 06-Feb-18 13:19:19

My whole life is an utter mess. I'm early 30s, no career, no prospects. Did a creative type degree I loved to try to get a job I loved. Didn't care about not being rich but never expected to always be on minimum wage where you cannot afford to live independently as a single woman.

I am frantic with despair and short of a time machine, don't know how I can change anything. I can't afford to do an access course and do another degree in science or engineering or somesuch. I can't even afford to move out of the miserable moneypit that is London at the moment so stuck here.

I put off having children until my 30s thinking I'd be sorted with an ok job, and I'm no more financially stable than I was 10 years ago. I could not afford to provide for a child, that won't change anytime soon.

AIBU to give up and accept I will never have a career or children?

I just don't get it. All my friends have been successful, I'm the only one who didn't make it.

Littleraincloud Tue 06-Feb-18 13:21:55

Move somewhere cheaper?

FancyNewBeesly Tue 06-Feb-18 13:22:46

You can totally do well with a creative degree - I had enough a drama degree and worked my way through jobs in marketing, publishing and event / project management, now I work part time for my local CCG. You can do all sorts! And I didn’t have my kids til I was 34, so you have time!

What’s your degree in and what would you like to do?

FancyNewBeesly Tue 06-Feb-18 13:23:17

And I second moving away from London if your salary doesn’t cover the extra costs of living there - it’s just not worth it.

zzzzz Tue 06-Feb-18 13:23:45

If what you’re doing isn’t getting you what you want change.

FancyNewBeesly Tue 06-Feb-18 13:24:35

You’d also be entitled to help like child tax credits, working tax credits (depending on your partner and their salary), child benefit, maybe other things. I have twins and at this age they don’t cost that much, I buy everything I can second hand!

falsepriest Tue 06-Feb-18 13:26:15

Is there a forum within your particular creative degree's area that can link to relevant job opportunities? Sympathise lots, hope you can find something to move up the ladder a bit, might be a case on knocking on a lot of doors and getting lucky.

Havingahorridtime Tue 06-Feb-18 13:27:11

Well you just said you are single so who exactly are you planning to have a child with? confused
If you do meet someone you might be able to afford children on your joint income

stupidshittyartsdegree Tue 06-Feb-18 13:27:49

I can't change, I have no money to change by re training.

I don't have the experience for any good jobs. I can't do extra skills needed for example In Design or Photoshop. Would love to move but where to?

OutyMcOutface Tue 06-Feb-18 13:29:21

Marry? Start your own business? Apply for funding for postgraduate? If you keep trying you may succeed. If you give up then you definitely won't. What's the point of giving up?

Allthewaves Tue 06-Feb-18 13:29:36

Get out if London and take a job in something you love. Cost of living is much cheaper in the north.

5foot5 Tue 06-Feb-18 13:29:41

Well you just said you are single so who exactly are you planning to have a child with? confused If you do meet someone you might be able to afford children on your joint income


ajandjjmum Tue 06-Feb-18 13:30:45

Nightclasses to up your skill base might be a start? Not meaning to be harsh, but only you can do it, no-one can do it for you.

We all need luck, but we also need to try and make our own luck.

OutyMcOutface Tue 06-Feb-18 13:31:05

You can also self teach most programs. I self taught photoshop and light box in my early teens.

Allthewaves Tue 06-Feb-18 13:31:13

Your minimum wage so looking at the bottom entry job where u can get the experience

RabbitsPikasAndHares Tue 06-Feb-18 13:31:30

I'm in a similar position OP, although I am a few years younger I can't imagine finding a better paid job anytime soon. I live in an area that is cheaper than london but to match that wages are lower. It"s not as simple as moving somewhere with much lower housing costs, and that would mean moving a long way from family and friends. I don't imagine I will find a man to pair up with either, and after years of dating crap men have lost interest!

The only person I know in london whose on an okay wage does admin/PA work. It only took her a couple of years working through jobs to get to a reasonable salary, could be something to look into as you're a graduate?

tinkerella1 Tue 06-Feb-18 13:32:01

February is a shit month, gloomy has heck and you're feeling it today. Make a new start in a new city? A friend of mine packed up and moved to Manchester - she hasn't looked back. Don't judge yourself by other people's "success". Don't get into the "I can't" mindset you won't get anything done and it'll drag you down. Turn it around to an "I can....."
Move your mindset on, and think about making a totally new start.

stupidshittyartsdegree Tue 06-Feb-18 13:32:13

I never said I was single. I am in a relationship but we can't afford to have a baby - there are children from a previous marriage needing private school fees etc. My partner is a good dad and works so hard, I cannot not contribute.

SleepingStandingUp Tue 06-Feb-18 13:33:03

What is your jon situation now op?

stupidshittyartsdegree Tue 06-Feb-18 13:33:39

I've been trying to get further ahead on the career ladder for 10 years.

Mookatron Tue 06-Feb-18 13:33:39

Is there some kind of political campaign against arts degrees at the moment?

There is nothing stopping people with arts degrees applying to high paying companies. You will have learned transferrable skills in your arts degree. You could apply for the civil service. You could apply for jobs in uni admin. You could apply for jobs in TV or get work experience outside office hours alongside your job.

Arts degrees are a perfectly good route into work.

Windyone Tue 06-Feb-18 13:33:48

Lots of people without degrees have good, well paid jobs. Time to do some job searching.

stupidshittyartsdegree Tue 06-Feb-18 13:33:56

Unemployed at the minute.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 06-Feb-18 13:34:17

No child “needs” private school fees.

PeppersTheCat Tue 06-Feb-18 13:35:23



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