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AIBU - house guests bringing junk food

(320 Posts)
crumbseverywhere Mon 05-Feb-18 14:33:15

I have a very sweet tooth and since the birth of DC2 8 months ago have struggled to control my diet. As a result I haven’t lost the baby weight so I am feeling pretty rubbish. This year my husband and I have vowed to be better and have stopped buying any biscuits/cake/junk Monday to Friday so the temptation isn’t there. My willpower is terrible when I’m at home all day with the DC. At the weekend we allow ourselves a small treat. It’s working as we are no longer craving sugar and I have already lost a few pounds.

My PIL live 150 miles away and visit once a month or so. Every time they come MIL brings tins of cakes made by herself or other extended family. I’m not talking something small for us to enjoy but 4+ tins of scones, sponges, cupcakes, shortbread etc. Every time (for the last 2 years) we have been saying please don’t as we can’t eat it/don’t want it but it falls on deaf ears. As a result we end up eating far too much and throwing a lot away. A lot of it is quantity over quality that has been frozen and then defrosted.

This weekend gone they came to stay. In an email exchange the week before we were asked if we wanted anything, husband repeated NO and explained us trying to be good. This was acknowledged and even congratulated! But as usual they arrived with the bloody tins.

My husband ate a lot, I ate too much and we both felt shit about it. A lot will end up in the bin.

AIBU in feeling pissed off that they won’t support our efforts? Should I stop blaming others for my lack of will power?
WIBU to make a scene of putting it all in the bin in front of them next time to make a point?! If so, how should I tackle this given that having a sensible conversation with them doesn’t work?

WineAndTiramisu Mon 05-Feb-18 14:34:16

Send it back with them?

Valerrie Mon 05-Feb-18 14:34:24

Just don't eat it confused

BatFaceGal Mon 05-Feb-18 14:35:42

Yes stop blaming them for your lack of will power and concentrate on your manners a little. Just say thank you and pop tins to one side. Then give to neighbours/ bun as you see fit

It’s only an issue if you choose to make it in to one

BatFaceGal Mon 05-Feb-18 14:36:17


Floralnomad Mon 05-Feb-18 14:37:42

Absolutely stop blaming others for your lack of will power , it makes them happy to bring you the cakes , just say thanks and either throw them away or pass them on to friends .

jemjemjem50 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:37:47

Exercise some self control

NotSoSprightly Mon 05-Feb-18 14:37:49

It's not their fault that you are eating it but it is weird that they won't accept what you are saying!

Take it round to the neighbours in front of them. "As we said we can't eat this as we're dieting, but the neighbours will love them! Be back in a second, will just take them over".

monkeywithacowface Mon 05-Feb-18 14:38:00

If it's not very good quality why are you eating so much of it? Don't put it in the bin in front of them that would be spectacularly rude. Like you said your lack of will power is your issue not their's.

ShiftyMcGifty Mon 05-Feb-18 14:38:02

Just put it back in their car. Or give it to the neighbours or take it to work. Any number of options other than eat or it bin it. confused

steff13 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:38:21

Could your husband maybe take them to work with him? In my office treats like that get put in the breakroom and people descend on them like locusts. They'd be gone in one day.

I mean, if you asked them not to bring the treats, they shouldn't, but I wouldn't risk causing a rift or hurt feelings if your relationship is otherwise good.

PinkHeart5914 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:38:50

Your both adults, if you choose to stuff yourselves stupid with it that’s on you really isn’t it? As an adult you can choose to just have 1 slice of cake or 2 biscuits, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing!

Have a slice with a coffee or whatever while pil are there and as they leave just give them the rest back, carry it out to the car or whatever and say lovely thought but it’s so much, take it back home to enjoy and walk back inside

QuiteLikely5 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:38:52


Lovestonap Mon 05-Feb-18 14:39:39

Well, really they're not forcing you to eat anything. I can understand however that the feeling they are not listening to you is frustrating.

Putting it in the bin would be quite rude and ungrateful, you could make a similar point by saying
"how kind - you won't mind if we pass these on to the kids' teachers staff room/local old people's home/ neighbours will you? As I have said we can't eat them at the moment but it would be a shame to let them go to waste" Then actually do it.

By continuing to actually eat it, you're reinforcing their idea that you want them really and are just being polite by protesting intially.

Imchangingmyname Mon 05-Feb-18 14:39:43

Yes, it's your lack of willpower that's to blame here! Refuse and reiterate what you said in the email or accept and bin/throw away if they are easily offended.

Curtainshopping Mon 05-Feb-18 14:40:52

Work is a good outlet for getting rid of crap. Can your husband take them in to his workplace?

Tarriance Mon 05-Feb-18 14:41:14

Get your husband to take it into work.

SwarmOfCats Mon 05-Feb-18 14:41:39

Just send it back with them - tell them it’ll go to waste if left with you as it’ll just go in the bin because you can’t eat it. Then don’t eat any of the things they bring.

BoredOnMatLeave Mon 05-Feb-18 14:41:42

I say this as someone who is in a similar position, just say thank you and throw it in the bin once they are gone. Don't even think about it.

Springtrolls Mon 05-Feb-18 14:41:57

Talk about mixed messages.
Please don’t bring all these things with you.
They arrive with the things and you two start devouring the stuff.

They aren’t the problem. You two are. Stop eating it and send it back with them.

superking Mon 05-Feb-18 14:42:40

My DSM does this, she loves baking and makes amazing cakes. I usually have a slice whilst she's here, maybe keep a little bit for me and the DCs to have the following day, and give the rest to DH to take into work, where it is very much appreciated by his colleagues. I have no willpower so just can't have stuff like that in the house.

Calvinlookingforhobbs Mon 05-Feb-18 14:43:50

BatFaceGal is talking sense.

Hillarious Mon 05-Feb-18 14:44:16

Yes. Send it to work. I love it when people bring cake to work!

Bluntness100 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:46:27

Can your will power really be so bad that if you both see it you need to eat it and eat as much of it as possible? Neither of you has any form of self control whatsoever in the face of food?

Anyway, of course they shouldn't bring it, but you should be polite, not eat it, or have a small portion, and then give it to others or bin it when they are gone.

Bluntness100 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:47:04

Actually, yes work is a good suggestion,

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